Post by haven on Mar 8, 2013 14:48:48 GMT -5
The fireworks go off overhead as a brand new edition of TNT comes on the air live. The usual routine of a camera panning the wildling fans commences, before quickly resting unto the excited faces of Big Al and The Fuzz at ringside.
Fuzz: Welcome to another episode of T!N!T! We are just a few days removed from Dawn of Destruction and my oh my how the landscape has changed!
Big Al: Your damn right, Colin. Two major title changes happened at Dawn of Destruction. Big Jim took to the Tower of London match like a duck to water and came out with the win and is your NEW King of the Deathmatch champion. But the big story is Wolverina, Colin. Wow, just... WOW!
Fuzz: Nobody gave her a snowball's chance in hell of winning the Triple Threat Ladder match against not only the KING of ladder matches, but the QUEEN of ladder matches as well. The match was designed for Millson and Kahlan; it was tailored made for them. They couldn't lose. But they did. It was a historic night for GHW as we saw Wolverina become the first female Fighty fighty person in history to hold the GHW Championship. And with it, she has cemented herself in GHW legacy, and will no doubt go down as arguably the best pound for pound competitor we have ever seen.
Big Al: It was such a special night for her and GHW that the powers that be have decided to allow us to air the very last moments of that match. So for those of you who didn't get to see it, enjoy the history making moment and the closing seconds of a match of the year candidate.
The feed switches to DoD.
Not an ass is seated in the arena, nor are any hands dropped at their sides. All are clapping, most for Wolverina, some for Kahlan as the two ladies climb either side of the only standing ladder directly under the golden strap of destiny. Voices, deafening in volume, scream out for their Wonder Woman to cast the monkey from her back at long last, as boots crack down mightily against the innocent floor beneath them, shaking the building, causing a ruckus so loud that it could possibly register on the Ritcher scale. Millson, that poor bloke, was no longer a factor in the match. A back to back "KKO" from Kahlan and "Goodness Gracious" Super Duper Kick from Wolverina had made damn sure of that. It was down to the women. The only two in history worthy enough to stake claim to the most honored title in the world.
The warrior queens reach the top at roughly the same time, but do not throw blows. They each have the same thing in mind. They leap up at the same time, hands greedily shooting up and wrapping around the title, yet the strap does not concede to either of them. And there they dangle, feet fumbling on and around the ladder below them. The pair jerk and pull on the title but for some convenient reason it does not come undone. Alarmed, they begin to kick at the other, some landing, most missing all the while trying their best to unsnap the prestigious title. It's a fruitless endeavor for both and they begin to tire, Wolfie more-so than Kahlan, due to the fact she'd received an extensive amount of punishment in the contest - to include a Top Rope Piledriver from the Brit Bitch.
In the pitched battle a thought occurs in the mind of the People's Princess, one that Pretty K would likely not expect. Summoning up all she has left, Wolverina lifts both of her legs upward and shoots one in the vacant space between Kahlan's arm and neck, and does the same on the other side, then secures them into a Figure Four type position around the Englishwoman's neck. From there she squeezes her powerful, sexy legs together and lifts upward at the hips, applying just enough pressure to restrict the flow of oxygen to Kahlan's brainless head.
Fuzz: Uh oh! Wolfie may have something here guys! She's got a Triangle Choke of sorts going on up there!
Matt: Out of all the ways to end a match from that position, this is one way I would have never thought up, and I am a damn genius.
Big Al: It's locked in tight too. Those legs, so strong!
Scally: I am at a loss right now. This is amazing.
Knowing she can not use her arms to combat Haven's attack, Kahlan scrambles to find a solution but can only flail her legs up with wild kicks that do nothing to gain her freedom. Amid that flailing she also kicks the ladder out from under them, all but sealing her own fate. Wolverina screams out with a primal roar and bellows a proclamation that reaches every ear in the building.
"DIE BITCH DIE!!!!!!!! DIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
It only takes a few scant seconds for Kahlan's eyes to roll into her head as darkness sets in, then her arms slink off the title and to her sides. The People's Princess quickly unravels her legs at the sight of this and watches in sick fatuation as her tormentor plummets lifelessly to the mat and crashes there in defeat. Haven furiously pulls at the belt's straps and finally, at long last, pries it free and falls on the mat with it in her possession.
DING! DING! DING!
The crowd goes absolutely bat shit crazy with cheers as Wolfie's music kicks into high gear and Coors's voice thunders for all.
"Your winner of the match and NEW GHW Champion..... WOLVERINA!!!!!!!!!!!"
Fuzz: She's done it! Wolfie won! She actually did it!
Scally: Unreal! Did this actually just happen?
Matt: This is going to piss alot of people off but I am damn proud of her. She's had a love hate relationship with GHW over the years but this has solidified her spot in this company forever. Nobody can take this away from her.
Big Al: She has also broken the streak Kahlan had over her, well, not in singles competition but still.... what a way to end one of the best matches I have ever seen.
A waterfall of tears flood down her battered face as she rolls around on the canvas with the title clutched to her big breasts, loving on it as if she'd just been reunited with a long lost sibling. As she stands, her best friend in the world, Joshua Vandiver, having shot down the ramp like a bat out of hell, almost plows her over with a massive hug. From there he grabs her at the hips and hoists her high into the air as fireworks explode over head and pink-n-purple glittery confetti falls from the rafters. Beaming the most beautiful smile ever, she hefts the title over head as he showcases her to the masses, and yells out to her loyal...
"I'M THE QUEEN OF THE WORLD!!!!!!! I'M THE QUEEN OF THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!"
The feed suddenly shuts off and returns to Big Al and Fuzz on TNT.
Fuzz: That was only the beginning of the celebration though. Monday, in downtown Lincoln, Nebraska, a parade was held for her. But it turned out to be a black parade didn't it, Al?
(Al sports a solemn face)
Big Al: Just roll the footage.
The feed switches again, this time to Lincoln, Nebraska, where the screen fills up with the view of thousands upon thousands of people on either side of the street. Marching bands from every school and every grade storms by, followed by high school sports teams, sponsors, floats with little kids on them and the whole nine yards. All paying homage to the Queen of Queens, Haven Marie Cassady. And, obviously, Wolverina is in it too, situated at the very back of the convoy in the parade. Dressed as beautiful as ever, she waves and smiles brilliantly as she sits atop the back portion of the pink convertible driven by her dad. her mom is in the passenger seat and Josh sits aside her waving also.
And with her is the NEW GHW Championship that looks similar to this.
Every mouth, young and old, man and woman, confesses their love for the popular princess as she rides by them throwing candy and other trinkets. The parade ends at the church she grew up in, the First Baptist Church of Lincoln. She exits the vehicle and hugs as many people as possible as she strolls up the steps to the podium that stands in front of the church. She gives one last round of waves and smiles before talking.
"First and foremost I'd like to thank God for his many blessings and Jesus Christ for coming into this world and dying for not only my sins but all of yours as well. I would also like to thank all of you for coming out and putting together this amazing event. It looks like it took more than a mere day or two to organize, so it seems you all had every confidence in the world that I would win the World Title at Dawn of Destruction. I can not stress enough how grateful I am for each and every one of you! Let this championship around my waist be a symbol of hope for those who are told they are too small or not the right gender, because I assure you, folks, if you can dream it.... YOU CAN DO IT! And on this day, before God and Country, I make a promise to y'all, one that, unlike Obama's, I can actually keep. I vow to you I will defend this title until my dying breath and will bring honor and glory to it like never before. Gone are the days of Santiago and Millson ruining it. There's a new sheriff in town, my people, and she's wearing pink! Speaking of pink. As you can see, I have changed the color scheme to the GHW Title. It is pink to show my support for breast cancer awareness and to promote girl power among areas normally dominated by men. Now if you'll excuse me, I hear there's a special church service today so let us enjoy in worshiping in the Lord! Come on in y'all!"
She turns and heads toward the church doors, which are already being held open for her. The church quickly packs to capacity, leaving only standing room as it begins.
TBCB They Know Who!
Fuzz: Welcome to another episode of T!N!T! We are just a few days removed from Dawn of Destruction and my oh my how the landscape has changed!
Big Al: Your damn right, Colin. Two major title changes happened at Dawn of Destruction. Big Jim took to the Tower of London match like a duck to water and came out with the win and is your NEW King of the Deathmatch champion. But the big story is Wolverina, Colin. Wow, just... WOW!
Fuzz: Nobody gave her a snowball's chance in hell of winning the Triple Threat Ladder match against not only the KING of ladder matches, but the QUEEN of ladder matches as well. The match was designed for Millson and Kahlan; it was tailored made for them. They couldn't lose. But they did. It was a historic night for GHW as we saw Wolverina become the first female Fighty fighty person in history to hold the GHW Championship. And with it, she has cemented herself in GHW legacy, and will no doubt go down as arguably the best pound for pound competitor we have ever seen.
Big Al: It was such a special night for her and GHW that the powers that be have decided to allow us to air the very last moments of that match. So for those of you who didn't get to see it, enjoy the history making moment and the closing seconds of a match of the year candidate.
The feed switches to DoD.
Not an ass is seated in the arena, nor are any hands dropped at their sides. All are clapping, most for Wolverina, some for Kahlan as the two ladies climb either side of the only standing ladder directly under the golden strap of destiny. Voices, deafening in volume, scream out for their Wonder Woman to cast the monkey from her back at long last, as boots crack down mightily against the innocent floor beneath them, shaking the building, causing a ruckus so loud that it could possibly register on the Ritcher scale. Millson, that poor bloke, was no longer a factor in the match. A back to back "KKO" from Kahlan and "Goodness Gracious" Super Duper Kick from Wolverina had made damn sure of that. It was down to the women. The only two in history worthy enough to stake claim to the most honored title in the world.
The warrior queens reach the top at roughly the same time, but do not throw blows. They each have the same thing in mind. They leap up at the same time, hands greedily shooting up and wrapping around the title, yet the strap does not concede to either of them. And there they dangle, feet fumbling on and around the ladder below them. The pair jerk and pull on the title but for some convenient reason it does not come undone. Alarmed, they begin to kick at the other, some landing, most missing all the while trying their best to unsnap the prestigious title. It's a fruitless endeavor for both and they begin to tire, Wolfie more-so than Kahlan, due to the fact she'd received an extensive amount of punishment in the contest - to include a Top Rope Piledriver from the Brit Bitch.
In the pitched battle a thought occurs in the mind of the People's Princess, one that Pretty K would likely not expect. Summoning up all she has left, Wolverina lifts both of her legs upward and shoots one in the vacant space between Kahlan's arm and neck, and does the same on the other side, then secures them into a Figure Four type position around the Englishwoman's neck. From there she squeezes her powerful, sexy legs together and lifts upward at the hips, applying just enough pressure to restrict the flow of oxygen to Kahlan's brainless head.
Fuzz: Uh oh! Wolfie may have something here guys! She's got a Triangle Choke of sorts going on up there!
Matt: Out of all the ways to end a match from that position, this is one way I would have never thought up, and I am a damn genius.
Big Al: It's locked in tight too. Those legs, so strong!
Scally: I am at a loss right now. This is amazing.
Knowing she can not use her arms to combat Haven's attack, Kahlan scrambles to find a solution but can only flail her legs up with wild kicks that do nothing to gain her freedom. Amid that flailing she also kicks the ladder out from under them, all but sealing her own fate. Wolverina screams out with a primal roar and bellows a proclamation that reaches every ear in the building.
"DIE BITCH DIE!!!!!!!! DIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
It only takes a few scant seconds for Kahlan's eyes to roll into her head as darkness sets in, then her arms slink off the title and to her sides. The People's Princess quickly unravels her legs at the sight of this and watches in sick fatuation as her tormentor plummets lifelessly to the mat and crashes there in defeat. Haven furiously pulls at the belt's straps and finally, at long last, pries it free and falls on the mat with it in her possession.
DING! DING! DING!
The crowd goes absolutely bat shit crazy with cheers as Wolfie's music kicks into high gear and Coors's voice thunders for all.
"Your winner of the match and NEW GHW Champion..... WOLVERINA!!!!!!!!!!!"
Fuzz: She's done it! Wolfie won! She actually did it!
Scally: Unreal! Did this actually just happen?
Matt: This is going to piss alot of people off but I am damn proud of her. She's had a love hate relationship with GHW over the years but this has solidified her spot in this company forever. Nobody can take this away from her.
Big Al: She has also broken the streak Kahlan had over her, well, not in singles competition but still.... what a way to end one of the best matches I have ever seen.
A waterfall of tears flood down her battered face as she rolls around on the canvas with the title clutched to her big breasts, loving on it as if she'd just been reunited with a long lost sibling. As she stands, her best friend in the world, Joshua Vandiver, having shot down the ramp like a bat out of hell, almost plows her over with a massive hug. From there he grabs her at the hips and hoists her high into the air as fireworks explode over head and pink-n-purple glittery confetti falls from the rafters. Beaming the most beautiful smile ever, she hefts the title over head as he showcases her to the masses, and yells out to her loyal...
"I'M THE QUEEN OF THE WORLD!!!!!!! I'M THE QUEEN OF THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!"
The feed suddenly shuts off and returns to Big Al and Fuzz on TNT.
Fuzz: That was only the beginning of the celebration though. Monday, in downtown Lincoln, Nebraska, a parade was held for her. But it turned out to be a black parade didn't it, Al?
(Al sports a solemn face)
Big Al: Just roll the footage.
The feed switches again, this time to Lincoln, Nebraska, where the screen fills up with the view of thousands upon thousands of people on either side of the street. Marching bands from every school and every grade storms by, followed by high school sports teams, sponsors, floats with little kids on them and the whole nine yards. All paying homage to the Queen of Queens, Haven Marie Cassady. And, obviously, Wolverina is in it too, situated at the very back of the convoy in the parade. Dressed as beautiful as ever, she waves and smiles brilliantly as she sits atop the back portion of the pink convertible driven by her dad. her mom is in the passenger seat and Josh sits aside her waving also.
And with her is the NEW GHW Championship that looks similar to this.
Every mouth, young and old, man and woman, confesses their love for the popular princess as she rides by them throwing candy and other trinkets. The parade ends at the church she grew up in, the First Baptist Church of Lincoln. She exits the vehicle and hugs as many people as possible as she strolls up the steps to the podium that stands in front of the church. She gives one last round of waves and smiles before talking.
"First and foremost I'd like to thank God for his many blessings and Jesus Christ for coming into this world and dying for not only my sins but all of yours as well. I would also like to thank all of you for coming out and putting together this amazing event. It looks like it took more than a mere day or two to organize, so it seems you all had every confidence in the world that I would win the World Title at Dawn of Destruction. I can not stress enough how grateful I am for each and every one of you! Let this championship around my waist be a symbol of hope for those who are told they are too small or not the right gender, because I assure you, folks, if you can dream it.... YOU CAN DO IT! And on this day, before God and Country, I make a promise to y'all, one that, unlike Obama's, I can actually keep. I vow to you I will defend this title until my dying breath and will bring honor and glory to it like never before. Gone are the days of Santiago and Millson ruining it. There's a new sheriff in town, my people, and she's wearing pink! Speaking of pink. As you can see, I have changed the color scheme to the GHW Title. It is pink to show my support for breast cancer awareness and to promote girl power among areas normally dominated by men. Now if you'll excuse me, I hear there's a special church service today so let us enjoy in worshiping in the Lord! Come on in y'all!"
She turns and heads toward the church doors, which are already being held open for her. The church quickly packs to capacity, leaving only standing room as it begins.
TBCB They Know Who!