Post by Ryan Hughes on Apr 1, 2011 10:40:41 GMT -5
The scene opens to one portraying the door to the office of Triumph GM and all round smart guy, Smarky Smark. Nothing seems different: the same oak door, the same beige walls, the same rolling echo of voices as always. The camera pans slightly, showing a nervous Charlie Coors. He smartens up his necktie, before addressing the camera in front of him.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I have been told to report here, as the General Manager of Tuesday Night Triumph has a ‘major announcement’ to make regarding our next Pay-Per-View in May, NeXuS.”
The man in charge must’ve been alerted to the sheepish voice at the other side of the door, as he appears mere moments after Charlie’s introduction. Smarky slowly steps from under the doorframe, wearing a sombre look on his face, as well as another fancy Armani suit. He gives the interviewer a half-hearted pat on the shoulder, continuing to give off the presence of a man who just came from a funeral. Almost reluctant to continue the interview, Charlie finally speaks.
“Mr. Smark, you say that you have a major announcement. Could you tell us what that is?”
“Charlie, you like NeXuS, don’t you?”
“Well, sure. I mean, it’s one of the biggest shows of the year.”
“I know. I bet you were one of the many who shared the emotions of guys like Matthew Olviera, Ryu Kenamora, Winthorp Darkrites and Ryan Hughes when they emerged from the three tiers of terror as Kings amongst men, weren’t you?”
“Yes, as was everybody watching, Sir.”
“You’re a good kid.”
An awkward silence follows, where Smarky bites his bottom lip and looks to the ground, almost as if holding back the tears. Charlie approaches his boss once more.
“Mr. Smark, where is this leading?”
“You want to know where this is leading? I’ll tell you where this is leading. NEXUS IS CANCELLED!”
Almost as if it was a monster waiting to come out, the words burst from Smarky’s soul like a cannonball. Unable to stop now, the Shaman of Sci-Fi continues to rant.
“We have pushed the boundaries too many times Charlie. We have sponsors to worry about now. And these very sponsors have seen many men and women come in to the GHW Arena, pushing the envelope- and not in the ways that they want. We’ve seen them almost throw us out of business with one small action of theirs.
We’ve seen Jaggeroth rape more women than there were Harry Potter books. We’ve seen Chris Pyro, the “Rogue Ninja” stab- LITERALLY FUCKING STAB PEOPLE WITH A KATANA! Hell, even last week we saw Wolverina actually STITCH ANOTHER WOMAN'S REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS SHUT!
AND PEOPLE WONDER WHY WE ARE STILL IN BUSINESS?!
It’s no wonder the sponsors want our head on a platter. They gave me an ultimatum, see. A final chance, if you will. They told me: cancel NeXuS, and we won’t remove our sponsorship and kill your product. And to be honest, I didn’t really have much of a choice, I had to cancel the NeXuS Deathmatch, Charlie.”
Charlie’s jaw is almost on the floor at this revelation, and he stutters as he gets his next question out.
“B-b-but Sir, where does this leave GHW?”
“To be honest kid, I don’t know. NeXuS was one of our biggest events, second only to Full Circle. It is a massive blow. But if I know Glory and Honor Wrestling, we can get through this. We got through SCW, we got through VWE, and we got through EVPW. We are the stubborn stain on the shirt of the wrestling industry. It’ll take a lot more than that to keep us down.”
“Is there anything else you want to add?”
“No, I’ve said all that needs to be said. Thanks.”
“No Sir, thank you.”
Charlie goes to walk away, but is stopped by Smarky Smark’s voice.
“Actually Charlie, there is something.”
The interviewer comes back, raising the mic once more.
“…”
“…”
“……..?”
“April Fools, you gullible fucks!”
Laughing to himself, Smarky retreats back in to his office as the interview draws to a relieving close.
EOT... and April Fools.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I have been told to report here, as the General Manager of Tuesday Night Triumph has a ‘major announcement’ to make regarding our next Pay-Per-View in May, NeXuS.”
The man in charge must’ve been alerted to the sheepish voice at the other side of the door, as he appears mere moments after Charlie’s introduction. Smarky slowly steps from under the doorframe, wearing a sombre look on his face, as well as another fancy Armani suit. He gives the interviewer a half-hearted pat on the shoulder, continuing to give off the presence of a man who just came from a funeral. Almost reluctant to continue the interview, Charlie finally speaks.
“Mr. Smark, you say that you have a major announcement. Could you tell us what that is?”
“Charlie, you like NeXuS, don’t you?”
“Well, sure. I mean, it’s one of the biggest shows of the year.”
“I know. I bet you were one of the many who shared the emotions of guys like Matthew Olviera, Ryu Kenamora, Winthorp Darkrites and Ryan Hughes when they emerged from the three tiers of terror as Kings amongst men, weren’t you?”
“Yes, as was everybody watching, Sir.”
“You’re a good kid.”
An awkward silence follows, where Smarky bites his bottom lip and looks to the ground, almost as if holding back the tears. Charlie approaches his boss once more.
“Mr. Smark, where is this leading?”
“You want to know where this is leading? I’ll tell you where this is leading. NEXUS IS CANCELLED!”
Almost as if it was a monster waiting to come out, the words burst from Smarky’s soul like a cannonball. Unable to stop now, the Shaman of Sci-Fi continues to rant.
“We have pushed the boundaries too many times Charlie. We have sponsors to worry about now. And these very sponsors have seen many men and women come in to the GHW Arena, pushing the envelope- and not in the ways that they want. We’ve seen them almost throw us out of business with one small action of theirs.
We’ve seen Jaggeroth rape more women than there were Harry Potter books. We’ve seen Chris Pyro, the “Rogue Ninja” stab- LITERALLY FUCKING STAB PEOPLE WITH A KATANA! Hell, even last week we saw Wolverina actually STITCH ANOTHER WOMAN'S REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS SHUT!
AND PEOPLE WONDER WHY WE ARE STILL IN BUSINESS?!
It’s no wonder the sponsors want our head on a platter. They gave me an ultimatum, see. A final chance, if you will. They told me: cancel NeXuS, and we won’t remove our sponsorship and kill your product. And to be honest, I didn’t really have much of a choice, I had to cancel the NeXuS Deathmatch, Charlie.”
Charlie’s jaw is almost on the floor at this revelation, and he stutters as he gets his next question out.
“B-b-but Sir, where does this leave GHW?”
“To be honest kid, I don’t know. NeXuS was one of our biggest events, second only to Full Circle. It is a massive blow. But if I know Glory and Honor Wrestling, we can get through this. We got through SCW, we got through VWE, and we got through EVPW. We are the stubborn stain on the shirt of the wrestling industry. It’ll take a lot more than that to keep us down.”
“Is there anything else you want to add?”
“No, I’ve said all that needs to be said. Thanks.”
“No Sir, thank you.”
Charlie goes to walk away, but is stopped by Smarky Smark’s voice.
“Actually Charlie, there is something.”
The interviewer comes back, raising the mic once more.
“…”
“…”
“……..?”
“April Fools, you gullible fucks!”
Laughing to himself, Smarky retreats back in to his office as the interview draws to a relieving close.
EOT... and April Fools.