Post by Public Enemies on Jul 19, 2011 10:39:08 GMT -5
| A shocking announcement regarding this Sunday's PPV! |
When the last match of the night had been decided, and when the crew were readying to hit the show’s signature on TV and the people were hesitantly coming into terms with the fact that another Triumph was finished and they should probably leave first to avoid a rush…
“BARRICADES AND BRICK WALLS”
Collin: I don’t think we’re done just yet.
Al: Oh boy.
From behind the curtains walks out Kahlan for the second time tonight carrying a microphone. She wears a vintage “I like me! Fuck you if you don’t” black T-shirt long enough to cover half of her mid-thigh trunks, and her infamous blue hair still looks to be in a mess following her little encounter with her opponent earlier tonight. She strolls her way down to the ring and when she reaches it she bends down to lift the apron up and tuck a head underneath the ring. She shortly returns to full view again pulling a small five-rung ladder with her and slides it into the ring. After she had walked to the steps and climbed them up to slip into the squared circle, she leans forward once again and this time picks the small ladder up to set it up in the middle of the ring. She then climbs the rungs and sits on the top of the ladder shifting about a little to make her place comfortable.
“You know I have good news and VERY good news for you tonight guys.”
This statement stirs a new buzz around in the arena as some people back track from their way towards the exits to come and hear what the Ladder Queen has to say.
Al: I love good news!
“Let me drop it like a bombshell for you. Wait...”
She coughs to clear her throat.
“Here it goes… METAL DRAGON IS NOT GOING TO FACE HAYDEN AT RWB, YAY!”
Collin: What?
Kahlan grins in delight.
“That is right people. Believe me, he has run into personal issues and flew over to Canada for another round of oblivion. And isn’t that great… I mean apart from the hype that made you buy tickets but then only to screw you out of seeing MD VS Hayden in another title match. But if you think that this is good news, then hear this one out.”
Al: WHAT!?
Collin: Metal Dragon is going to Canada instead of relieving Hayden of his multi title carrying capacity? Man this sucks. How the heck is this supposed to be good news?
“As a result, I have graciously seen fit to “volunteer” myself here and now to DEMAND Smarky walk out here and name me the number one contender for the New Age Title, at this very PPV in July. ISN’T THAT WONDERFUL!?”
Al: FUCK YEA!
“Let me expand on this. My name, as I’m sure all of you and EVERYONE that don’t even watch wrestling know, is Kahlan. I debuted four years ago professionally in this very company and within a couple months I had the opportunity to become the number one contender and become a true New Age when I faced Samoa Joe. Obviously as you all know, I was inexperienced, Joe was one fat fuck, and even though we put on a classic in GHW’s history I came just short of gaining that stature.”
Kahlan wipes a hand over her face.
“Since then I’ve had my ups and downs but trust your intelligence when I say it, no don’t; trust me on this, for I’m not so sure about many of you, I more than anybody else in this company have proved myself time and time again. Today, if you look over the roaster there is hardly anybody who can match me. I’m better looking than everybody else. I have a better social status than everybody else. I have a better voice than everybody else. I am better on a microphone than everybody else. I can cut a prime promo out of only match sticks if I have to. I am a far more technically superior Fighty fighty person; yes mind the emphasis, than anybody else. I don’t do hardcore shit that has no real quality apart from the entertainment factor for most of you degenerates who don’t understand what wrestling is truly about. I am about tradition. I am about evolution. I am about a New Age.
For too long I’ve been a Martyr, thanks to the unstable nature of our company’s leadership. But fuck that. Yes I said it. Fuck that. I faced Hayden in my very first match in this business. God forbid it I will face Hayden again at Red, White and Bruised and Smarky, you better come out here this instance and name ME the new number one contender no strings attached. I mean it Smark. It is time for you to pay my due. Don’t make me mad, just come out here and do the right thing. Not just for you but for this company. Do it for this people and what they REALLY NEED to see not what YOU want them to see. Come out here, right now!"
Kahlan lowers her microphone still snug up on her ladder throne, eyeing the stage.
Collin: Damn this is certainly not what I was expecting. Damn sure not expecting it at the end of tonight’s show.
Al: Oh it is real.
The crowd start to cheer as Dow Jones, their Hometown Hero comes into view and walks quickly down the ramp and into the squared circle, going over to the ring ropes nearest the announce team and asking for a microphone, which Charlie Coors gives to him. Dow then turns to face Kahlan, and with the crowd rapturously supporting him, he begins to speak.
Kahlan, I hear you. I know that you've been wanting a New Age title shot for years and you deserve one, but I do too. Ever since I split from The Wannabes, I've been ripping it up here in my hometown as a Tuesday Night Triumph superstar, and that you have to agree. Plus, I was the man who beat Hayden to take his Television title from him a few months ago. So here's what I propose. Over on Friday Night Combat, two GHW rookies in Sebastian Parker and Sean Danielson will be meeting, with the winner earning a Charging Glory title shot. Now, GHW's all about opportunity, so why not replace MD and Hayden's match with Hyden and the winner of that match, headlining one of the top PPV's in this business.
The crowd cheer at the prospect of a new star headlining a PPV, instead of the same couple of title matches that they always see.
And then, the next PPV, you get your New Age title shot against Hayden HardKore. How does that sound? It's only a slightly longer wait for a title shot that others might never have.
Kahlan nods her head, with Dow smiling. However, Jones doesn't finish there.
Of course, though, I have a Ladder match with Mighty Man Millson II at Red, White and Bruised, so how about this? Seeing as a win there would be more than enough to earn me a title shot, if I defeat Millson on Sunday, we make your match with Hayden a Triple Threat. Now Smarky, I'm sure you want to be the man that a) gave a Rookie the chance to main event a PPV and become a star against arguably the best in the world and b) book the same champion to defend his title against his long-time rival, Kahlan Clarkson and the Hometown Hero, Dow Jones, who is the only superstar guaranteed to bring in all the fans from Boston. Smarky, what do you say? Just remember, I won my match tonight.
The fans anxiously awaiting the General Manager only had to wait for a few seconds at best, because before Dow can get his breath back, “Like a Boss” by The Lonely Island plays through the speakers, signalling the arrival of the man who has the final opinion on this matter, Smarky Smark. The curtains are flapped aside as Smarky, dressed in yet another sharp suit, appears before his people- the GHW faithful. He has a microphone in his hand, and he raises it, letting Dow Jones, Kahlan, and everyone in the arena know that he wanted to speak. The music fades to a mute, and the General Manager of TNT addresses the two in the ring.
“Dow Jones. You do have a good point, in that folks who can wrestle should headline, no matter the occasion. I fully grasp what you are getting at. But answer me this. If two Fighty fighty persons have a classic match, and no one buys tickets to see it, did they REALLY have a classic match?”
The millionaire raises his mic to his lips, but is cut off by his boss.
“Let me answer the question for you. They don’t. You see, this company is all for quality matches, but the problem is this: GHW needs money. GHW needs money more than Amy Winehouse needs rehab. The Golden Saints debacle drained this place. We owe money here, there and everywhere. Heck, you’re lucky you two still have cushy paycheques! If this company wants to make money- which it does- then it needs to have something amazing to bring in the buyrate. And for that reason, I can’t have my Red, White and Bruised main event headlined by a rookie. They will have their time, but just not now.”
“But Dow, I do have some incentive for you. Because if you beat Mighty Man Millson on Sunday, you can prepare for the biggest match of your life, because you will become the number one contender to the New Age Championship!”
The crowd break in to cheers, knowing that the upstart could finally smash on through that glass ceiling and realise his dreams. The mood is broken however when the feisty young lady at Dow’s side chirps in.
“That’s all fine and good, but are you just going to leave me out?”
“No.”
“I knew you would, you no good rat faced son of a-….wha?”
“I am not leaving you out, Miss Clarkson. I listened to what you had to say, and you are right. You are a brilliant Fighty fighty person, as you call it. You can cut a good promo. I’ve seen you rise on up ever since you showed your face here in 2008, I saw you fight Samoa Joe on Pay Per View, I saw you try to blow up Stone Orchard: you made moments that would stick in my mind, as well as all of these people. But I also watched you fall. No showing just for the sake of it, treating everybody in the business like something you just stepped on outside, putting on dire performances just because you couldn’t give a fuck on a certain week. I don’t know whether it was your period, or you just plain sucked.”
The fans share a hearty laugh, mostly because they are immature numbskulls who titter at the word “Nipple”. Nonetheless, Smarky continues addressing the affronted Kahlan.
“But after hearing what you said earlier, I decided that you deserve a second chance somewhat. And that is why I am granting your request.”
“YES!”
“What? She doesn’t deserve this!”
The fans begin to revolt, shouting their dissent of the matter in Smarky’s direction, but the GM holds his hands out and tries to hush the audience.
“On July 17th, at Red, White and Bruised, it will be Hayden HardKore versus Kahlan Clarkson…
…versus Ollie Jay…
…versus Jerry Nate…
…VERSUS THE PSYCHO KID!”
The crowd break in to a thunderous ovation, most of them shocked from the announcement, and the way it was indeed announced. Even the commentators cannot believe it.
“WHAT?!”
“This is amazing! What a masterstroke by our General Manager!”
“What a cock up more like! Kahlan deserves that shot, not any of those no marks!”
“That’s right, Kahlan Clarkson. If you want to be King of this company, then prove it. Because this is not going to be any ordinary match, no sir. You are going to have to grab the New Age Title, and make your way to the top of a ladder with it to cement your name in the history books, because this Sunday, it will be a KING OF THE MOUNTAIN MATCH!”
“Holy crap!”
“This is a travesty, a freakin’ travesty!”
“The King of the Mountain match can claim careers, but at the end of the night Ollie Jay, TPK, Jerry Nate or that girl right there could well become the New Age champion for the first time in their lives! What a way to end Triumph, goodnight everybody!”
The last scene of the broadcast is the smug look on Smarky’s face as he walks away from the scene, the look of a man who has possibly just changed the landscape of Glory and Honor Wrestling.
