Post by Brad Windsor on Sept 2, 2011 20:41:32 GMT -5
Sat on a bench all on her own in the flickering light at one of the shadowy corners of the backstage area is Kahlan, looking despondent and lonely. Her hair is all in tangles and the black cosmetic substance of the eyeliner she had used earlier has already begun to spread. The dejected figure takes a short swig at the can of Red Bull in her hand and sighs deeply. From next to her, playing from an old fashioned Nokia phone the lines keep on swaying the mood further on into the desolate darker side.
Oh it seemed forever stopped today
All the lonely hearts in London caught a plane and flew away
All the best women are married
All the handsome men are gay
You feel deprived
Yeeeaaah are you questioning your size?
Is there a tumour in your humour?
Are there bags under your eyes?
Do you leave dents where you sit?
Are you getting on a bit?
Will you survive?
You must surviveeee
Another sigh escapes the woman’s lips and she wets them with another sip of Red Bull.
“Shit-O… shit.”
Another sip…
“How the fuck did this happen? I was careful… right? Yea, I was careful. SURE! But could it be…or not be…him? Or maybe…”
At this moment the palm of her free hand comes up and half way meets her forehead on its descent. Out of the blue appears Charlie Coors, looking all parts the journalist while carrying with himself a microphone. Quick and uninvited, he sits down right next to the Ladder Queen while she continues to smear her lipstick about her face in despair. Taking her condition in, Charlie hesitates but for a moment.
“Kahlan…?”
He receives no response, verbal or physical so he assumes to continue.
“Kahlan, regarding your recent unprecedented abandoning of Shawn Dreamer amidst a battle with the Outcasts and the shocking announcement after, many people are wondering-”
Kahlan turns to Charlie suddenly.
“-who got me pregnant?!”
This time Charlie’s hesitation drags on a bit more before he speaks again.
“… As to which side Kahlan is on.”
Kahlan looks genuinely taken aback by that.
“Oh.”
Once again Kahlan’s head sinks down low.
“Well, do you have any solid statement to answer the rumours around this now very confusing scenario?”
Again Kahlan turns to Charlie with heat.
“What rumours? What are you talking about?!”
“Well, for one there is one particular rumour circulating around that you are plotting in secret with delicately put, your very close friend Nicholas Carson against the Legion, trying to aid Mr Carson in his revenge quest against Dominik Santiago.”
“Eh!? That is crazy! I am doing no such thing and have no association of ANY kind with Carson about ANYTHING now and never had.”
“How do you explain the ring?”
“What ring?”
“The spider ring that was given to you by Mr Carson that you happen to be wearing.”
Kahlan looks down at the black plastic ring enveloping her middle finger.
“I keep free stuff.”
“So you deny you joining, or working with the Outcasts?”
“YES! Weren’t you listening! I have nothing to do with them… I mean him…no them.”
Kahlan dismisses the whole conversation with a flick of her hand and turns to stare at nothing in particular.
“If we assume that this is true, this confirms the other theory many critics have been hinting out at. You are carrying Jerry Nate’s child.”
“WHAT!”
“You denied having an affair with Mr Carson. Therefore, that means Jerry Nate is your child’s father.”
“NO!”
“So you had an affair with Mr Carson.”
“NO! NO! NO! I have had no affairs with Nick Carson OR Jerry fucking Nate! Where the hell are you hearing this absolute nonsense?”
“It is just hearsay.”
“Well its bullshit.”
“If that is the case then I presume I must ask you a now bigger more complicated question that arises itself. Allow me to be forward, who is the child’s father.”
“No you can’t presume anything aresehole.”
“This would generate yet more rumours now that you are hesitant of revealing the father’s identity. Let me ask you another question then. Is the father aware that he is a father, yet?”
“I SWEAR COORS!... O-what the hell, it doesn’t matter anymore now I’m fucking knocked up… if you must know. How do you explain the main events? The New Age title shot? Don’t think you need a rocket scientist to work this out for you.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Oh my god you dipstick. I was in a slump, Dom had taken Shawn away from me, I was stuck up to my neck in debt from living the high life I thought I could sustain. There was all this new blood coming in fighting for opportunities and the pay from other promotional work wasn’t anywhere near enough. With all of this going on and the other distractions a young woman with my immense fame has to deal with, I wasn’t focused enough to work my way up the ladder like I’m known for. I needed instant results. I needed a big paycheque. Got me?”
“Um… not really.”
Kahlan shuts her eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to cool her raging anger that started to boil from the slow witted interviewer’s remark.
“Charlie… who makes up cards? Who dreams up the Pay-per-View’s main events and makes them official? Who signs everybody’s paycheques at the end of each week?”
Slowly at first, then with a sudden bolt of lightning understanding washes over Charlie’s features. His mouth falls open and his brows shoot up.
“You mean you-”
“YEA I FUCKED SMARKY.”
Kahlan grins like a maniac back at the bulging eyes of the man sitting next to her.
“Did I enjoy it? Nah. Was he any good? FUCK NO! I had a better fuck with a 14 year old on a wheelchair when I was sixteen. Did it solve my problems? OH YES.”
“But… but… but you hated him! You’ve said so yourself! You have pointed out time and time again how he had wronged you at every turn and had cost you many career defining defeats!”
“Shit happens.”
“But now-”
“Now where he lacked at screwing, Yea, I’m pretty much well screwed.”
With that Kahlan rises up to her feet bringing a flabbergasted Coors up also. She takes a sip from her Red Bull can before unceremoniously spitting the entire amount of liquid she mouthed out and onto Charlie’s chest in projectile motion. Charlie’s surprised expression turns sour and Kahlan slaps the can into his chest where his hand comes up to hold onto it in reflex.
“Tastes like horse piss.”
With that Kahlan walks away and leaves Charlie soaked up and miserable standing in the lonely corner backstage.
End
Oh it seemed forever stopped today
All the lonely hearts in London caught a plane and flew away
All the best women are married
All the handsome men are gay
You feel deprived
Yeeeaaah are you questioning your size?
Is there a tumour in your humour?
Are there bags under your eyes?
Do you leave dents where you sit?
Are you getting on a bit?
Will you survive?
You must surviveeee
Another sigh escapes the woman’s lips and she wets them with another sip of Red Bull.
“Shit-O… shit.”
Another sip…
“How the fuck did this happen? I was careful… right? Yea, I was careful. SURE! But could it be…or not be…him? Or maybe…”
At this moment the palm of her free hand comes up and half way meets her forehead on its descent. Out of the blue appears Charlie Coors, looking all parts the journalist while carrying with himself a microphone. Quick and uninvited, he sits down right next to the Ladder Queen while she continues to smear her lipstick about her face in despair. Taking her condition in, Charlie hesitates but for a moment.
“Kahlan…?”
He receives no response, verbal or physical so he assumes to continue.
“Kahlan, regarding your recent unprecedented abandoning of Shawn Dreamer amidst a battle with the Outcasts and the shocking announcement after, many people are wondering-”
Kahlan turns to Charlie suddenly.
“-who got me pregnant?!”
This time Charlie’s hesitation drags on a bit more before he speaks again.
“… As to which side Kahlan is on.”
Kahlan looks genuinely taken aback by that.
“Oh.”
Once again Kahlan’s head sinks down low.
“Well, do you have any solid statement to answer the rumours around this now very confusing scenario?”
Again Kahlan turns to Charlie with heat.
“What rumours? What are you talking about?!”
“Well, for one there is one particular rumour circulating around that you are plotting in secret with delicately put, your very close friend Nicholas Carson against the Legion, trying to aid Mr Carson in his revenge quest against Dominik Santiago.”
“Eh!? That is crazy! I am doing no such thing and have no association of ANY kind with Carson about ANYTHING now and never had.”
“How do you explain the ring?”
“What ring?”
“The spider ring that was given to you by Mr Carson that you happen to be wearing.”
Kahlan looks down at the black plastic ring enveloping her middle finger.
“I keep free stuff.”
“So you deny you joining, or working with the Outcasts?”
“YES! Weren’t you listening! I have nothing to do with them… I mean him…no them.”
Kahlan dismisses the whole conversation with a flick of her hand and turns to stare at nothing in particular.
“If we assume that this is true, this confirms the other theory many critics have been hinting out at. You are carrying Jerry Nate’s child.”
“WHAT!”
“You denied having an affair with Mr Carson. Therefore, that means Jerry Nate is your child’s father.”
“NO!”
“So you had an affair with Mr Carson.”
“NO! NO! NO! I have had no affairs with Nick Carson OR Jerry fucking Nate! Where the hell are you hearing this absolute nonsense?”
“It is just hearsay.”
“Well its bullshit.”
“If that is the case then I presume I must ask you a now bigger more complicated question that arises itself. Allow me to be forward, who is the child’s father.”
“No you can’t presume anything aresehole.”
“This would generate yet more rumours now that you are hesitant of revealing the father’s identity. Let me ask you another question then. Is the father aware that he is a father, yet?”
“I SWEAR COORS!... O-what the hell, it doesn’t matter anymore now I’m fucking knocked up… if you must know. How do you explain the main events? The New Age title shot? Don’t think you need a rocket scientist to work this out for you.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Oh my god you dipstick. I was in a slump, Dom had taken Shawn away from me, I was stuck up to my neck in debt from living the high life I thought I could sustain. There was all this new blood coming in fighting for opportunities and the pay from other promotional work wasn’t anywhere near enough. With all of this going on and the other distractions a young woman with my immense fame has to deal with, I wasn’t focused enough to work my way up the ladder like I’m known for. I needed instant results. I needed a big paycheque. Got me?”
“Um… not really.”
Kahlan shuts her eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to cool her raging anger that started to boil from the slow witted interviewer’s remark.
“Charlie… who makes up cards? Who dreams up the Pay-per-View’s main events and makes them official? Who signs everybody’s paycheques at the end of each week?”
Slowly at first, then with a sudden bolt of lightning understanding washes over Charlie’s features. His mouth falls open and his brows shoot up.
“You mean you-”
“YEA I FUCKED SMARKY.”
Kahlan grins like a maniac back at the bulging eyes of the man sitting next to her.
“Did I enjoy it? Nah. Was he any good? FUCK NO! I had a better fuck with a 14 year old on a wheelchair when I was sixteen. Did it solve my problems? OH YES.”
“But… but… but you hated him! You’ve said so yourself! You have pointed out time and time again how he had wronged you at every turn and had cost you many career defining defeats!”
“Shit happens.”
“But now-”
“Now where he lacked at screwing, Yea, I’m pretty much well screwed.”
With that Kahlan rises up to her feet bringing a flabbergasted Coors up also. She takes a sip from her Red Bull can before unceremoniously spitting the entire amount of liquid she mouthed out and onto Charlie’s chest in projectile motion. Charlie’s surprised expression turns sour and Kahlan slaps the can into his chest where his hand comes up to hold onto it in reflex.
“Tastes like horse piss.”
With that Kahlan walks away and leaves Charlie soaked up and miserable standing in the lonely corner backstage.
End