Post by userwithnoname on Oct 22, 2011 15:03:57 GMT -5
* GHW.com's Jamie Graves is seen walking around when he notices a large amount of smoke billowing from the janitor's closet. He opens the door only to find a young Asian man standing on his hands with his leg split apart and his feet a few inches from the ground.*
CLOSE THE DOOR , BRO. I'm hotboxing in here , man.
*Graves Shoots the door and shoots the man a confused glance.*
Are you , Shuma Mushai?
Well that depends on how you define what you are. I mean are you a man or an animal? What's the difference? We call man a mammal but we think of him as superior to say a beaver despite the fact that they're both mammals. Humans hate what they are when you think about
it , man.
*Jamies Graves coughs uncontrollably for a few seconds before being handed a water bottle by Shuma.*
What? Are you Shuma Mushai or not? Aw my eyes are watery.
Yes , I'm the man you speak of. What do you want , bro?
Uhhhhhh......I forgot. Oh wait that's right a interview. Why is there so much smoke in here?
Don't harsh on the smoke , man. That's a square move. You don't want to be a square. You want to be a circle like me. Circles are good. Squares are harsh.
Okay but why are you standing on your hands?
Crab Style , Man. Taught in Shandong Province, Known for it's painful nerve holds based off of a crab's Claws. Off shoot of Crane Style.
So what's your ultimage goal in GHW, Shuma?
I don't really know. I mean I can do allot of things but I can't predict the future. I'd like to think that one day Stoned Monkey Kung Fu will be a universally taught Martial Art and that I will be able to smoke freely and out in the open. Also , To sleep with allot of women. I think that of all things I want it would be to sleep with a huge amount of women. As many as I can and quite frankly I don't even care if they're just men who look like women. I'm really into anything , Man Also I'd like to get like a dozen little people. Six male and six female , take them to an island , have them breed and then the next generation would worship me as a giant king of the little people. Kind of like Willy Wonka.
Willy Wonka was too evil for a kid's movie by the way. I mean he had slaves who he kidnapped from there home country and nobody even asked if they were here legally or how much he paid them . Dude , I hate willy wonka and if I ever see him , I'm going to kick his ass for being a slave owner.
I mean I wouldn't force my little people to work. I'd be like their Giant Mayor. I'm not even into making chocolate. I like chocolate but making it isn't my thing. Also , Dude was a child killer. Seriously he says they're being tended to by doctors and nurses but how do we know? They don't show them after the accidents. Personally , I don't think the factory was up to OSHA standards.
What do you think about the other Fighty fighty persons on GHW'S roster , Shuma?
I'd like to be mayor even though I'm not into politics. I'm not because I know of a place where a cheeseburger is mayor. Who the hell elects a cheeseburger? What are his qualifications? He's delicious? That doesn't mean He should be mayor. Oh and they get mad that there's a thief stealing things in there town? Don't elect a damn cheeseburger , alright? They don't have a good public safety record. They're not good at assembling a police force or enforcing laws. So if you want to stop being attacked by giant purple monsters and having your stuff stolen , don't elect a damn cheeseburger to be mayor. Doesn't matter if you're a democrat or a republican , anthropomorphic cheeseburgers are not valid candidates. Now thank you for giving me the time to speak my mind. I have to go , I'm really hungry and I feel like eatting a couple dozen doughnuts.
Shuma Mushai , everyone. He's quite the......Unique talent.
CLOSE THE DOOR , BRO. I'm hotboxing in here , man.
*Graves Shoots the door and shoots the man a confused glance.*
Are you , Shuma Mushai?
Well that depends on how you define what you are. I mean are you a man or an animal? What's the difference? We call man a mammal but we think of him as superior to say a beaver despite the fact that they're both mammals. Humans hate what they are when you think about
it , man.
*Jamies Graves coughs uncontrollably for a few seconds before being handed a water bottle by Shuma.*
What? Are you Shuma Mushai or not? Aw my eyes are watery.
Yes , I'm the man you speak of. What do you want , bro?
Uhhhhhh......I forgot. Oh wait that's right a interview. Why is there so much smoke in here?
Don't harsh on the smoke , man. That's a square move. You don't want to be a square. You want to be a circle like me. Circles are good. Squares are harsh.
Okay but why are you standing on your hands?
Crab Style , Man. Taught in Shandong Province, Known for it's painful nerve holds based off of a crab's Claws. Off shoot of Crane Style.
So what's your ultimage goal in GHW, Shuma?
I don't really know. I mean I can do allot of things but I can't predict the future. I'd like to think that one day Stoned Monkey Kung Fu will be a universally taught Martial Art and that I will be able to smoke freely and out in the open. Also , To sleep with allot of women. I think that of all things I want it would be to sleep with a huge amount of women. As many as I can and quite frankly I don't even care if they're just men who look like women. I'm really into anything , Man Also I'd like to get like a dozen little people. Six male and six female , take them to an island , have them breed and then the next generation would worship me as a giant king of the little people. Kind of like Willy Wonka.
Willy Wonka was too evil for a kid's movie by the way. I mean he had slaves who he kidnapped from there home country and nobody even asked if they were here legally or how much he paid them . Dude , I hate willy wonka and if I ever see him , I'm going to kick his ass for being a slave owner.
I mean I wouldn't force my little people to work. I'd be like their Giant Mayor. I'm not even into making chocolate. I like chocolate but making it isn't my thing. Also , Dude was a child killer. Seriously he says they're being tended to by doctors and nurses but how do we know? They don't show them after the accidents. Personally , I don't think the factory was up to OSHA standards.
What do you think about the other Fighty fighty persons on GHW'S roster , Shuma?
I'd like to be mayor even though I'm not into politics. I'm not because I know of a place where a cheeseburger is mayor. Who the hell elects a cheeseburger? What are his qualifications? He's delicious? That doesn't mean He should be mayor. Oh and they get mad that there's a thief stealing things in there town? Don't elect a damn cheeseburger , alright? They don't have a good public safety record. They're not good at assembling a police force or enforcing laws. So if you want to stop being attacked by giant purple monsters and having your stuff stolen , don't elect a damn cheeseburger to be mayor. Doesn't matter if you're a democrat or a republican , anthropomorphic cheeseburgers are not valid candidates. Now thank you for giving me the time to speak my mind. I have to go , I'm really hungry and I feel like eatting a couple dozen doughnuts.
Shuma Mushai , everyone. He's quite the......Unique talent.