Post by Brad Windsor on Apr 19, 2012 15:56:10 GMT -5
A man dressed in jeans and a GHW made T-shirt with the theme “The Perfect Gentleman”, of course featuring Hughes on the back, walks out of his bedroom door and shuts it behind him. The said man walks over into the living room where there is a group of middle-aged men sitting on a sofa watching an MMA styled fight on a TV screen, while drinking Budweiser’s beer. The new man meanders over to the kitchen counter and picks up a Mountain Dew, opening the can with a pop.
New man: So guys, come on. We’re going to be late; Total Carnage starts in an hour.
A big burly man with a hairy chest answers back.
Big burly man: Meh, this is better. Watching real men fight it out.
New man: Oh come on dude. This pay-per-view is going to be excellent! There is Ryan Hughes against Santiago on the card.
A second of the beer drinking bunch, Irish looking by his ginger hair shots back.
Irish dude: Fuck that. An uncharismatic, one dimensional character with an over done gimmick, really? “OH LOOK I HAVE STOLEN THE DKO! NOW I CALL IT SKO! I’M THE ASSASSIN, I’M AWESOME!” I’m sick of that guy. He is exactly as he was when Stone Orchard raped him on a weekly basis. Now that was the good old days. And this Ryan Hughes guy, what the fuck man? How he has won the New Age I don’t know. I mean he can only just kick and punch. M. Bison had a far more extensive move set.
New man: HEY FUCK YOU! HUGHES IS MY FAVOURITE!
The third in the group, a baldy with a face not too unlike that of a potato turns away from the screen.
Potato face: Fuck Hughes. Now if you’d said something about the KOTDM with Delta in it-
Irish dude: FUCK THAT GUY! Since the day he has appeared on TV, my wife’s become a wrestling fan. Can you believe it? That woman used to hate me for watching wrestling. Now I don’t get to have sandwiches whenever TNT is on.
The final guy in the far end of the sofa with a blond beard and pouty lips brings down his beer bottle.
Blond bear: I feel for you man.
New man: Are you people kidding me?
Suddenly an advert for Total Carnage comes up in the middle of a break.
Big burly man: OH MY GOD! IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS?
Blond bear: OH MY GOD! YES! YES! YES!
Potato face: HOLY JESUS! JAMIE WHERE IS MY TICKET MAN, LETS GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE WE HAVE TO GO NOW!
New man: What-
Before he can mutter another word out the other four are up and out of the front door. The dude with the Ryan Hughes T walks around to face the television screen. The Ad is drawing to an end and with a flash it goes from the Total Carnage logo to a question.
“Are the rumours true? Who is this mystery man?”
An array of pictures quickly shuffles through under the Total Carnage insignia. They contain the faces of some legends. Mathew Oliveira to Vladimir Strife, Brian Commonwealth to Hayden Hardkore until it gets to the Walker brothers and finally-
Big burly man: COME ON DAMMIT I DON’T WANT TO MISS BEAUCHAMP!
END
I know, to the new man WRESTLING IS STILL REAL GODDAMMIT!
New man: So guys, come on. We’re going to be late; Total Carnage starts in an hour.
A big burly man with a hairy chest answers back.
Big burly man: Meh, this is better. Watching real men fight it out.
New man: Oh come on dude. This pay-per-view is going to be excellent! There is Ryan Hughes against Santiago on the card.
A second of the beer drinking bunch, Irish looking by his ginger hair shots back.
Irish dude: Fuck that. An uncharismatic, one dimensional character with an over done gimmick, really? “OH LOOK I HAVE STOLEN THE DKO! NOW I CALL IT SKO! I’M THE ASSASSIN, I’M AWESOME!” I’m sick of that guy. He is exactly as he was when Stone Orchard raped him on a weekly basis. Now that was the good old days. And this Ryan Hughes guy, what the fuck man? How he has won the New Age I don’t know. I mean he can only just kick and punch. M. Bison had a far more extensive move set.
New man: HEY FUCK YOU! HUGHES IS MY FAVOURITE!
The third in the group, a baldy with a face not too unlike that of a potato turns away from the screen.
Potato face: Fuck Hughes. Now if you’d said something about the KOTDM with Delta in it-
Irish dude: FUCK THAT GUY! Since the day he has appeared on TV, my wife’s become a wrestling fan. Can you believe it? That woman used to hate me for watching wrestling. Now I don’t get to have sandwiches whenever TNT is on.
The final guy in the far end of the sofa with a blond beard and pouty lips brings down his beer bottle.
Blond bear: I feel for you man.
New man: Are you people kidding me?
Suddenly an advert for Total Carnage comes up in the middle of a break.
Big burly man: OH MY GOD! IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS?
Blond bear: OH MY GOD! YES! YES! YES!
Potato face: HOLY JESUS! JAMIE WHERE IS MY TICKET MAN, LETS GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE WE HAVE TO GO NOW!
New man: What-
Before he can mutter another word out the other four are up and out of the front door. The dude with the Ryan Hughes T walks around to face the television screen. The Ad is drawing to an end and with a flash it goes from the Total Carnage logo to a question.
“Are the rumours true? Who is this mystery man?”
An array of pictures quickly shuffles through under the Total Carnage insignia. They contain the faces of some legends. Mathew Oliveira to Vladimir Strife, Brian Commonwealth to Hayden Hardkore until it gets to the Walker brothers and finally-
Big burly man: COME ON DAMMIT I DON’T WANT TO MISS BEAUCHAMP!
END
I know, to the new man WRESTLING IS STILL REAL GODDAMMIT!
