Post by Jaggeroth's wench. on May 3, 2012 23:11:48 GMT -5
Sometime early on in the most recent episode of GHW Triumph, the camera switches to ringside where Collin and Big Al sit.
"Earlier today, before we even went on the air, Wolverina struck again in her quest to topple Dominik Santiago. This time she hit him in the area of money. She's messing with the man's lively-hood now."
"I doubt the famous Assassin is hurting monetary wise, but the fact she would stoop this low to press her agenda will surely unnerve the Lord of the Flies. He's not going to take too kindly to it."
"Without further adieu, let's take you back to earlier this evening, before the show went on the air."
The scene opens up with Wolverina standing in view of the camera, her arms up and held in her trademark pose w/ GHW Championship around her waist. A big smile is plastered on her flawless features as many fans, young and old, men and women are seen all around her cheering wildly. The Queen of GHW allows her loyal to praise her a few more moments before quieting them with a simple, regal motion of her hands.
"I know what you're thinking you people at home and in the building watching right now. Oh no, here's come a long winded rebuttal from the Queen, in response to Santiago's meanie butt words last week. Don't worry, this segment is for something different. I'll save the big time yammering for a later time, but it's definitely coming. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, it's time to move onto why I'm out here. Well, it's simple. At Total Carnage I promised to dismantle every facet of Dom's life. On that night I destroyed his most precious moment. Tonight I will put a dent in his wallet, no matter how small it may be in the long run. So, follow me. Join us on this journey."
The camera follows Haven as she walks to her left, with a mob of her minions following her, hanging on her every word and foot step. A gigantic almost literal mountain of merchandise comes into view as her subjects fan out and encircle it, chanting like hooligans moreso than civilized wrestling fans.
"I'm sure some of you watching are clueless, so let me explain. This here is a big pile of garbage, and by garbage I mean Dominik Santiago themed merchandise. Obviously every time you buy one of his items he gains a monetary profit. Well not anymore. From now on and until the Lord of the Lies is no more, I will confiscate and publicly burn his merchandise. Heck, people, even if I wasn't mad at the man would you blame me for doing this? Look at it... look at this here..."
Miss Cassady pulls up Dom's new "Champion. Icon. Legend." shirt.
"Really, Dom? Seriously? You speak and write with a vocabulary that would confuse a college professor. You dazzle people with creative uses of a thumbtack chair and a SKO. Yet for some inexplicable reason you have without question the most unoriginal shirt in the history of this business. You wanna know how sad this shirt is, Dommie? It's not worth wiping my perfect little queenly sphincter with. That's right. If I was out of toilet paper and had only one of your shirts as my last saving grace, I still wouldn't use it. I'd wipe clean with my bare hand or not wipe at all before I'd ever use your boring, less-than-half-thought-out shirt. You know what, Dom? Since you were oh so generous by 'letting' me carry around 'your' GHW Championship, I'll return the favor. New shirt idea. Dominik Santiago: Liar. Fraud. Cheat.. Hot dayum I amaze myself. That's a 60 dollar shirt right there. Oh, what's this? Hmmm..."
The Queen of Queens sifts through the items and procures a semi thick book with Dom's face on the front.
"Ladies and gentlemen, this here is one of Santiago's collector's items. Top of the line. One of his most expensive tools to pull the wool over your eyes. Dom's Thesaurus, the very one he uses to go off script and butcher words by speaking them in terms not conducive to what they are meant for, is yours for only $49.99. To you, the buyer of this outlandishly over priced doohickey, a world of sounding smart and being way more cool awaits you, or so you think. In REALITY it will only make you ramble on incoherently and look like a fucking jackass, pardon my French."
Haven places a hand over her mouth in a cute "opps, did I just say a bad word" pose, then shrugs and goes about scouring for the next product. What she finally comes up with is the mask he's worn down the aisle here and there. The People's Princess calmly places it on her face then suddenly bursts forth with an energetic mock pose of Santiago's famous crossed arms over chest and head hung in askew.
"Look everyone, I'm Dominik Santiago. I'm a bad to the bone because I wear a mask sometimes even though I once bludgeoned every masked Fighty fighty person in this company because I hated them for wearing one, and I can hang my head in askew! Champion. Icon. Legend. FTW! Woooohooo!"
The only thing that can out match Wolfie's severe sarcasm is the overly less-than-impressed way she removes the mask and tosses it asunder like its a food wrapper going to the rubbish bin.
"Dom, next time you wear a mask to the ring keep it on, please for the love of God keep it on. You're butt azz ugly. Hate to break it to ya. I'm sure nobody has ever had the guts to tell you because they probably didn't want to get clobbered, but it's true. Think about it, dude. You had access to Kahlan Clarkson, the literal town bicycle whom everyone gets to ride, for over a year and you still couldn't hit it. Also, in regards to that mask, stop giving it away to little kids at ring side you unoriginal doosle-dorph. I've been doing that with my vintage sunshades for over three years now. You stole the Thumbtack chair, you stole the DKO and renamed it SKO, and now you've stolen my intro.. please Dom, before I retire you at NeXus, stop running your fraud flappers and give us something original and genuine from you."
Wolverina turns away from the camera without warning and just gazes at the humongous pile of merchandise worth tens of thousands of dollars, if not more. Then, with a single motion of her hand, the minions assembled around douse the pile with gasoline, and before long the enormous mound is set ablaze. The fire intensifies rapidly, sending a few into alarm mode, but the Queen remains unaffected and merely watches. When the fire reaches its most fiery moment, the People's Princess looks over shoulder at the camera, with a wicked little smile formed.
"Dom, you love symbolism, so I'll leave you with this........ At NeXus, just like your pile of garbage here, I'm going to burn... you... down."
Scene cuts to black.
"Earlier today, before we even went on the air, Wolverina struck again in her quest to topple Dominik Santiago. This time she hit him in the area of money. She's messing with the man's lively-hood now."
"I doubt the famous Assassin is hurting monetary wise, but the fact she would stoop this low to press her agenda will surely unnerve the Lord of the Flies. He's not going to take too kindly to it."
"Without further adieu, let's take you back to earlier this evening, before the show went on the air."
The scene opens up with Wolverina standing in view of the camera, her arms up and held in her trademark pose w/ GHW Championship around her waist. A big smile is plastered on her flawless features as many fans, young and old, men and women are seen all around her cheering wildly. The Queen of GHW allows her loyal to praise her a few more moments before quieting them with a simple, regal motion of her hands.
"I know what you're thinking you people at home and in the building watching right now. Oh no, here's come a long winded rebuttal from the Queen, in response to Santiago's meanie butt words last week. Don't worry, this segment is for something different. I'll save the big time yammering for a later time, but it's definitely coming. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, it's time to move onto why I'm out here. Well, it's simple. At Total Carnage I promised to dismantle every facet of Dom's life. On that night I destroyed his most precious moment. Tonight I will put a dent in his wallet, no matter how small it may be in the long run. So, follow me. Join us on this journey."
The camera follows Haven as she walks to her left, with a mob of her minions following her, hanging on her every word and foot step. A gigantic almost literal mountain of merchandise comes into view as her subjects fan out and encircle it, chanting like hooligans moreso than civilized wrestling fans.
"I'm sure some of you watching are clueless, so let me explain. This here is a big pile of garbage, and by garbage I mean Dominik Santiago themed merchandise. Obviously every time you buy one of his items he gains a monetary profit. Well not anymore. From now on and until the Lord of the Lies is no more, I will confiscate and publicly burn his merchandise. Heck, people, even if I wasn't mad at the man would you blame me for doing this? Look at it... look at this here..."
Miss Cassady pulls up Dom's new "Champion. Icon. Legend." shirt.
"Really, Dom? Seriously? You speak and write with a vocabulary that would confuse a college professor. You dazzle people with creative uses of a thumbtack chair and a SKO. Yet for some inexplicable reason you have without question the most unoriginal shirt in the history of this business. You wanna know how sad this shirt is, Dommie? It's not worth wiping my perfect little queenly sphincter with. That's right. If I was out of toilet paper and had only one of your shirts as my last saving grace, I still wouldn't use it. I'd wipe clean with my bare hand or not wipe at all before I'd ever use your boring, less-than-half-thought-out shirt. You know what, Dom? Since you were oh so generous by 'letting' me carry around 'your' GHW Championship, I'll return the favor. New shirt idea. Dominik Santiago: Liar. Fraud. Cheat.. Hot dayum I amaze myself. That's a 60 dollar shirt right there. Oh, what's this? Hmmm..."
The Queen of Queens sifts through the items and procures a semi thick book with Dom's face on the front.
"Ladies and gentlemen, this here is one of Santiago's collector's items. Top of the line. One of his most expensive tools to pull the wool over your eyes. Dom's Thesaurus, the very one he uses to go off script and butcher words by speaking them in terms not conducive to what they are meant for, is yours for only $49.99. To you, the buyer of this outlandishly over priced doohickey, a world of sounding smart and being way more cool awaits you, or so you think. In REALITY it will only make you ramble on incoherently and look like a fucking jackass, pardon my French."
Haven places a hand over her mouth in a cute "opps, did I just say a bad word" pose, then shrugs and goes about scouring for the next product. What she finally comes up with is the mask he's worn down the aisle here and there. The People's Princess calmly places it on her face then suddenly bursts forth with an energetic mock pose of Santiago's famous crossed arms over chest and head hung in askew.
"Look everyone, I'm Dominik Santiago. I'm a bad to the bone because I wear a mask sometimes even though I once bludgeoned every masked Fighty fighty person in this company because I hated them for wearing one, and I can hang my head in askew! Champion. Icon. Legend. FTW! Woooohooo!"
The only thing that can out match Wolfie's severe sarcasm is the overly less-than-impressed way she removes the mask and tosses it asunder like its a food wrapper going to the rubbish bin.
"Dom, next time you wear a mask to the ring keep it on, please for the love of God keep it on. You're butt azz ugly. Hate to break it to ya. I'm sure nobody has ever had the guts to tell you because they probably didn't want to get clobbered, but it's true. Think about it, dude. You had access to Kahlan Clarkson, the literal town bicycle whom everyone gets to ride, for over a year and you still couldn't hit it. Also, in regards to that mask, stop giving it away to little kids at ring side you unoriginal doosle-dorph. I've been doing that with my vintage sunshades for over three years now. You stole the Thumbtack chair, you stole the DKO and renamed it SKO, and now you've stolen my intro.. please Dom, before I retire you at NeXus, stop running your fraud flappers and give us something original and genuine from you."
Wolverina turns away from the camera without warning and just gazes at the humongous pile of merchandise worth tens of thousands of dollars, if not more. Then, with a single motion of her hand, the minions assembled around douse the pile with gasoline, and before long the enormous mound is set ablaze. The fire intensifies rapidly, sending a few into alarm mode, but the Queen remains unaffected and merely watches. When the fire reaches its most fiery moment, the People's Princess looks over shoulder at the camera, with a wicked little smile formed.
"Dom, you love symbolism, so I'll leave you with this........ At NeXus, just like your pile of garbage here, I'm going to burn... you... down."
Scene cuts to black.