Post by Nikki on May 7, 2012 17:55:03 GMT -5
Kahlan is leaned back into a plush armchair situated just to the left, in front of a big television screen. A short distance away, facing her is a simple wooden table with an empty chair behind it. Pacing around the table is a young man in his teenage years, with messy brown hair and dishevelled casual clothing. He is biting on the end of a pencil when Kahlan’s soft voice brings him to attention.
“Send her in.”
A moment later the door at the far end of the room is swung open and the teenager steps out only for a blond eastern European sweetheart to walk in. She is wearing a tight pink halter top and an extremely short schoolgirl’s miniskirt. So short in fact, it barely covers her nickers while putting on a show for the teenager following her footsteps back inside.
“Please pull out the seat for her now Jack.” Jack of course does as commanded but not before craning his neck a little further down for one last little peek. The blonde sits herself down dropping her humongous handbag on the table. She puffs into her gum and bursts it noisily over her red lips. After regarding her with a quizzical expression, Kahlan turns to Jack. “Are you sure she is Romanian?”
Jack grins, “Of course! I've tried her firsthand.”
“Well if that is the case,” Kahlan turns to the blonde, “what’s your name honey?”
“Anica,” is all that comes out of her.
“Ok, Anica” Kahlan musters, “has this man been one of your clients recently?”
Kahlan snaps her fingers and Jack quickly produces a photograph out from under a pile of papers on the table. Anica only have to give it a quick glance, “yea so what of it?”
Kahlan smiles a devious little smile. “Well let’s just say it is of special interest to me to know some details. Do you know who this man is?”
“Nope, although he said he was famous and a big deal but I didn’t care about that. Anyway I don’t see what this has to do with you.” Anica leans forward to push back on her chair and rise up.
“Sit down hoe! I’m not finished!” Kahlan’s angry outburst added to with her sudden finger pointing, freezes Anica in place. She gives Kahlan one look and smartly sits herself right back down. “Well, he is famous. I’m surprised how you didn’t know him. Since he is your fellow countryman I conclude that either he really is not that big of a deal where you come from, or more so you’re the most ignorant whore I’ve ever seen in all of my days. That doesn’t matter though, what I’m interested in is something far more practical. Jack?” Obviously understanding the meaning behind the call, Jack walks over to the table and presents Anica with an A4 sheet of paper and a pencil.
Kahlan leans forward in her armchair, “I want you to place your thumb and forefinger on that sheet of paper in such a way to represent the length of this man’s penis and mark the respective points with the pencil."
“What?”
“I said show me the length of his penis you stupid, stupid woman!” Kahlan’s scream throws Anica into a flurry of motion and the scared woman quickly does as told, putting two dots down on the sheet of paper. As soon as she is done Kahlan beckons for Jack.
“Measure it.”
Jack casually places a ruler over the imaginary line connecting the two dots.
“Well?”
“It’s about three and a half inches.”
Kahlan takes a moment to decipher the meaning of what she is told, and then bursts out laughing. She laughs and laughs, rumbling deep down and shaking with the vibrations. Her uncontrollable spasm slowly brings a smile to Jack’s lips, however Anica looks dumbfounded. “Why is that so funny?”
“You really are stupid aren’t you?” Kahlan manages in between her shakes. “You just told me Vladimir Strife’s penis was barely three and a half inches long, and you are surprised that I find it highly amusing? But wait, how thick is it, like the girth of it?”
Still utterly confused Anica stares back.
“I said tell me how thick it was you thick slut!”
Flinching back, Anica holds her slim thumb up. “About this much, I think.”
Kahlan’s howling returns but this time it is accompanied with a cheeky snicker from Jack. “I think mine was bigger when I was born.” Jack’s eyes flicker left fixed onto Anica, “and you know how much it has grown since.” Anica shudders under the stare.
Recovering by taking in deep breaths Kahlan eventually calms down enough to carry on with her questioning. “You didn’t know he was Romanian?”
“Of course I knew. We talked to each other you know. That is why he picked me up in the first place, because I understood him.”
“And you still didn’t realise who he was?”
“No.”
“And you still don’t know.”
“No.”
“And you didn’t find it weird how this man’s penis was three and a half inches long?”
“Not really, that is the average size amongst Romanian men.”
“Get out.”
The unexpectedly nature with which this was said, catches Anica completely off guard. “What?”
“I said get out you stupid whore!”
“B-but he said I would get paid.”
“Listen here you piss-head. If you don’t get out of here at this very instant, I will get up and strip you down. I will then tie you up to this very table and peel your skin right off. Right the fuck off. So get the fuck out of here!”
Anica scrambles up and out of her chair, stumbling on her way as she escapes the room through the door she came through earlier. Kahlan then turns towards the camera which is facing her. “Listen here now. It goes without saying that this stupid man named Vladimir Strife is no longer an important figure here in GHW. Obviously the guy isn’t big enough, and he is a gimmick that has been clichéd to death over these past few years. The era of the tiny and snivelling, scheming little men behind the scenes that protected him is over. The only scheming that is done in GHW now is done through me and only me. This is my GHW now, so screw you, you imbeciles for trying to screw me here in my very own back garden. Vladimir “SMALL” Strife doesn’t hold the one thing that made him so special, and that was his streak. It is over! It has been long over! He has been defeated, and no matter how much more you fucking rodents try to keep him safe in his matches, you just cannot hide his numerous shortcomings. He cannot put on a good match, he is fat as fuck, and he is as over with the crowds as was Jeff freaking Young and his Romanian speech impairments make him sound like a retard every time he tries to speak through a microphone. You idiots screw me over in my match when I had clearly won? That’s right faggots; I’ve beaten him twice now. Two! Ice! Roll the video Jack.”
The television screen behind Kahlan comes alive. Inside the ring Vladimir Small Strife is laid out on his front and has his arm twisted clockwise, grasped in the clutches of a painful looking Arm-Bar. Kahlan’s legs are scissor-crossed over the arm, with her feet locked over just above the shoulder, pinning it to the mat. His extended limb is being pushed upwards painfully by Kahlan. Suddenly there is a jerking motion and the shoulder seems to give in as if something has torn up. Small Strife grimaces in response and starts tapping his free hand onto the canvas. Watching this closely, the referee clearly shakes his head no and turns to look the other way. The screen freezes on this very scene.
“You see, in my book that is a tap out. So it is in every other wrestling rules book. Therefore let us not hear about this insignificant dwarf of a man, because the era of him and his likes are over. This is the KGHW now, and as such I declare him to be forgotten as quite frankly nobody cares anymore. His moment of glory by facing me is over; now that he is defeated again he can fade into obscurity.”
Kahlan stands up out of her armchair.
“However, there is someone else far more cunning and daring and far bigger that I need to address.”
Kahlan walks over to where the camera is and picks it up staring directly into its lense.
“Wolverina, I applaud you for having the guts to do what you did last week. I must admit that you caught me by surprise, but you stupid bitch! You had me thrown into a street corner amongst tramps who tried to abuse me! You had me fed to them wolves like raw meat. I caught head lice! HEAD FUCKING LICE! I HATE HEAD LICE! I spent the entire week picking at them and my head is still itching! For that and everything else, I will punish you like the two-bit whore that you are. You think because you walked out of the Hell in a Cell as the victor and went on to steal away at my title shot, you’re somehow a badass? No you cunt, I pinned myself! It is all part of a plan, but I’ll let you have a bit of a warning anyway. Stay away from Dominik! Stay away from him because if you don’t, and by a shot in a billion come away with “my” title, you wouldn’t survive. This is serious business from here on Haven; trust me when I say I’m not messing with you anymore. This is the sort of game that if you start playing with me, you either win or you are forever finished. And you know your chances of winning against me? They aren’t that good darling, they aren’t that good.”
Kahlan sets the camera down in its place and walks back to her seat. Sitting down she leans right back as comfortably as she can.
“One more thing, if you’ve been Bitch-making since Total Carnage, I’ve owned them since 2007. How do you like me now?”
END
“Send her in.”
A moment later the door at the far end of the room is swung open and the teenager steps out only for a blond eastern European sweetheart to walk in. She is wearing a tight pink halter top and an extremely short schoolgirl’s miniskirt. So short in fact, it barely covers her nickers while putting on a show for the teenager following her footsteps back inside.
“Please pull out the seat for her now Jack.” Jack of course does as commanded but not before craning his neck a little further down for one last little peek. The blonde sits herself down dropping her humongous handbag on the table. She puffs into her gum and bursts it noisily over her red lips. After regarding her with a quizzical expression, Kahlan turns to Jack. “Are you sure she is Romanian?”
Jack grins, “Of course! I've tried her firsthand.”
“Well if that is the case,” Kahlan turns to the blonde, “what’s your name honey?”
“Anica,” is all that comes out of her.
“Ok, Anica” Kahlan musters, “has this man been one of your clients recently?”
Kahlan snaps her fingers and Jack quickly produces a photograph out from under a pile of papers on the table. Anica only have to give it a quick glance, “yea so what of it?”
Kahlan smiles a devious little smile. “Well let’s just say it is of special interest to me to know some details. Do you know who this man is?”
“Nope, although he said he was famous and a big deal but I didn’t care about that. Anyway I don’t see what this has to do with you.” Anica leans forward to push back on her chair and rise up.
“Sit down hoe! I’m not finished!” Kahlan’s angry outburst added to with her sudden finger pointing, freezes Anica in place. She gives Kahlan one look and smartly sits herself right back down. “Well, he is famous. I’m surprised how you didn’t know him. Since he is your fellow countryman I conclude that either he really is not that big of a deal where you come from, or more so you’re the most ignorant whore I’ve ever seen in all of my days. That doesn’t matter though, what I’m interested in is something far more practical. Jack?” Obviously understanding the meaning behind the call, Jack walks over to the table and presents Anica with an A4 sheet of paper and a pencil.
Kahlan leans forward in her armchair, “I want you to place your thumb and forefinger on that sheet of paper in such a way to represent the length of this man’s penis and mark the respective points with the pencil."
“What?”
“I said show me the length of his penis you stupid, stupid woman!” Kahlan’s scream throws Anica into a flurry of motion and the scared woman quickly does as told, putting two dots down on the sheet of paper. As soon as she is done Kahlan beckons for Jack.
“Measure it.”
Jack casually places a ruler over the imaginary line connecting the two dots.
“Well?”
“It’s about three and a half inches.”
Kahlan takes a moment to decipher the meaning of what she is told, and then bursts out laughing. She laughs and laughs, rumbling deep down and shaking with the vibrations. Her uncontrollable spasm slowly brings a smile to Jack’s lips, however Anica looks dumbfounded. “Why is that so funny?”
“You really are stupid aren’t you?” Kahlan manages in between her shakes. “You just told me Vladimir Strife’s penis was barely three and a half inches long, and you are surprised that I find it highly amusing? But wait, how thick is it, like the girth of it?”
Still utterly confused Anica stares back.
“I said tell me how thick it was you thick slut!”
Flinching back, Anica holds her slim thumb up. “About this much, I think.”
Kahlan’s howling returns but this time it is accompanied with a cheeky snicker from Jack. “I think mine was bigger when I was born.” Jack’s eyes flicker left fixed onto Anica, “and you know how much it has grown since.” Anica shudders under the stare.
Recovering by taking in deep breaths Kahlan eventually calms down enough to carry on with her questioning. “You didn’t know he was Romanian?”
“Of course I knew. We talked to each other you know. That is why he picked me up in the first place, because I understood him.”
“And you still didn’t realise who he was?”
“No.”
“And you still don’t know.”
“No.”
“And you didn’t find it weird how this man’s penis was three and a half inches long?”
“Not really, that is the average size amongst Romanian men.”
“Get out.”
The unexpectedly nature with which this was said, catches Anica completely off guard. “What?”
“I said get out you stupid whore!”
“B-but he said I would get paid.”
“Listen here you piss-head. If you don’t get out of here at this very instant, I will get up and strip you down. I will then tie you up to this very table and peel your skin right off. Right the fuck off. So get the fuck out of here!”
Anica scrambles up and out of her chair, stumbling on her way as she escapes the room through the door she came through earlier. Kahlan then turns towards the camera which is facing her. “Listen here now. It goes without saying that this stupid man named Vladimir Strife is no longer an important figure here in GHW. Obviously the guy isn’t big enough, and he is a gimmick that has been clichéd to death over these past few years. The era of the tiny and snivelling, scheming little men behind the scenes that protected him is over. The only scheming that is done in GHW now is done through me and only me. This is my GHW now, so screw you, you imbeciles for trying to screw me here in my very own back garden. Vladimir “SMALL” Strife doesn’t hold the one thing that made him so special, and that was his streak. It is over! It has been long over! He has been defeated, and no matter how much more you fucking rodents try to keep him safe in his matches, you just cannot hide his numerous shortcomings. He cannot put on a good match, he is fat as fuck, and he is as over with the crowds as was Jeff freaking Young and his Romanian speech impairments make him sound like a retard every time he tries to speak through a microphone. You idiots screw me over in my match when I had clearly won? That’s right faggots; I’ve beaten him twice now. Two! Ice! Roll the video Jack.”
The television screen behind Kahlan comes alive. Inside the ring Vladimir Small Strife is laid out on his front and has his arm twisted clockwise, grasped in the clutches of a painful looking Arm-Bar. Kahlan’s legs are scissor-crossed over the arm, with her feet locked over just above the shoulder, pinning it to the mat. His extended limb is being pushed upwards painfully by Kahlan. Suddenly there is a jerking motion and the shoulder seems to give in as if something has torn up. Small Strife grimaces in response and starts tapping his free hand onto the canvas. Watching this closely, the referee clearly shakes his head no and turns to look the other way. The screen freezes on this very scene.
“You see, in my book that is a tap out. So it is in every other wrestling rules book. Therefore let us not hear about this insignificant dwarf of a man, because the era of him and his likes are over. This is the KGHW now, and as such I declare him to be forgotten as quite frankly nobody cares anymore. His moment of glory by facing me is over; now that he is defeated again he can fade into obscurity.”
Kahlan stands up out of her armchair.
“However, there is someone else far more cunning and daring and far bigger that I need to address.”
Kahlan walks over to where the camera is and picks it up staring directly into its lense.
“Wolverina, I applaud you for having the guts to do what you did last week. I must admit that you caught me by surprise, but you stupid bitch! You had me thrown into a street corner amongst tramps who tried to abuse me! You had me fed to them wolves like raw meat. I caught head lice! HEAD FUCKING LICE! I HATE HEAD LICE! I spent the entire week picking at them and my head is still itching! For that and everything else, I will punish you like the two-bit whore that you are. You think because you walked out of the Hell in a Cell as the victor and went on to steal away at my title shot, you’re somehow a badass? No you cunt, I pinned myself! It is all part of a plan, but I’ll let you have a bit of a warning anyway. Stay away from Dominik! Stay away from him because if you don’t, and by a shot in a billion come away with “my” title, you wouldn’t survive. This is serious business from here on Haven; trust me when I say I’m not messing with you anymore. This is the sort of game that if you start playing with me, you either win or you are forever finished. And you know your chances of winning against me? They aren’t that good darling, they aren’t that good.”
Kahlan sets the camera down in its place and walks back to her seat. Sitting down she leans right back as comfortably as she can.
“One more thing, if you’ve been Bitch-making since Total Carnage, I’ve owned them since 2007. How do you like me now?”
END
