Post by Jaggeroth's wench. on Jul 1, 2012 18:12:42 GMT -5
Continued from "Lineal Champion" found here:
gahwo.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=ring&thread=14476&page=1
At some point during the upcoming TNT broadcast, Big Al and Fuzz come to you from their commentator table, their heads collectively shaking.
Fuzz: Folks, as you all witnessed on GHW Live!, Wolverina has, well, become a bit loose from reality. Dustin, God bless his soul, tried to talk sense into her but it backfired. But...
Big Al: ... In the days since her confrontation with Delta, the GodQueen has stooped to a new low. She was recently invited to be a special guest on a episode of The Biggest Loser, you know, the show were a bunch of obese people try to lose as much weight as possible and the one who loses the most wins. Words can not express how deeply troubled we are about what you are about to see. You must see it to believe it.
The feed went black then opened to show Alison Sweney, the host of The Biggest Loser, standing in front of 8 obese people whom all wore nervous and excited faces. She smiled sweetly to them and they applauded.
Alison: Welcome to the next round here on The Biggest Loser. You've all done sooooooo well the past few weeks. I am so proud of you. Tonight's episode is special, because I have gone and invited a very courageous young woman to visit you. So without further adieu, I present to you pro wrestling sensation and current GHW World Champion Haven "Wolverina" Cassady.
The 8 of them, apparently all wrestling fans, hollered and clapped their hands vigorously, clearly excited to be in the presence of such greatness. Wolverina stepped through the door wearing a nice pin stripped suit, which made her appear professional despite her less than professional attitude as of late. Draped regally over her shoulder was wrestling's richest prize, the GHW Championship, which she took from Santiago after beating him in the biggest match in history. The GodQueen approached Alison with a small smile, and hugged her before sending the host on her merry way, leaving the People's Princess alone with the 8 happy people. Haven lifted her hand and summoned them to cease their applause. They obeyed.
Wolverina: As you heard, I am Wolverina, the greatest female Fighty fighty person in history and current GHW Champion. This is the part where I would normally go around and ask each of your names and appear interested in your story, but I am not going to do that. I did not come here to be your friend. I came here to enlighten you. I came to drop some knowledge on you. Did you know I used be fat like all of you? Oh it's true, it's true. I know it is hard to believe now, because I am fit, toned, beautiful and pretty much the epitome of all that a woman is supposed to be in the new age - minus the plastic enhancements of course. But when I was 10 years old, oooooooh I was BIG, big as a barn. Something happened though. I decided to not be fat anymore and changed my ways from that day forward. Quick, tell me why you guys are fat. Go ahead. No judging here.
Wolfie went down the line, hearing their reasons and nodding each time all knowingly. When they were finished, she took a deep breath in and out.
Wolverina: Ok so I just heard 8 different reasons, ranging from thigh-roid disease to genetics to unhappiness. I am here to call BULLSHIT on all of that. Beating obesity is easy. All you have to do is eat right, exercise, have a strong mind and a good family/friend support system. Actually, I just described my story. See, unlike all of you, I had a supportive family growing up. You wanna know what happened when I was caught sneaking a fatty cake? My dad took off his belt and whooped me real good. Then, he would make me bail extra hay. On top of that, he would deny me dinner. That's LOVE. That's SUPPORT! He didn't fill my head with that mumbo-jumbo "You're fine just the way you are" bullshit like your loved ones did you. The real reason each and every one of you are fat is this: YOU EAT TOO FUCKING MUCH. I was paid to come here and give you advice on how to lose weight, but it's impossible, or would be for any other person. But I am not ordinary. I am above all others. I am going to produce a mircale just like I did at neXus when I defeated the great Dominik Santiago. So here we go. All of you close your eyes, I am going to start with the mental aspect of it. Go ahead, close them.
The 8 looked to one another and shook their heads in disbelief of the GodQueen's attitude, but on the off chance she may be unto something, they obliged and closed their eyes.
Wolverina: Now clear your mind. Imagine the new you. The person you want to be. Imagine yourself without all that weight. Imagine yourself at the beach, in the water with a sexy bikini on, or for you guys imagine yourself looking oh so fine with your shirts off. The men and women are looking at you, admiring you, wanting to be with you, inside you, near you, they're wanting to be exactly like you just like everyone does when looking at me in real life. Now hold that imagine, savor it, and open your eyes to me.
They obeyed and peered at Haven with happy expressions, new determination flaring in their oculars.
Wolverina: Good. What you just invisiioned is the closest you will ever get to losing weight, because each of you are FAT FUCKING PIECES OF LARDWAD! You steal my oxygen, you make the elevators smelly at the mall because of the damn fat-sweat you secrete just by breathing, and I'm almost certain you fat fuckers disturb the tectonic plates that cause earthquakes world-wide. I've looked each of you in the eye and can see that all of you are sheep. There's not a wolf among you. None of you have the will power and motivation it will take to lose weight and keep it off. None of you are me! Sure, one of you will lose enough weight to be called a winner at the end of this season, but you, just like the rest of the fatties in the world, will always be a loser. And you will probably go right back to gorging your fat face and wind up back to square one within a year. So here is my best piece of advice. Sucide... it's painless and easy and will put an end to all your problems and we, the good and fit people of the world, will be eternally grateful. Heck, as an incentive I'll even promise to attend your fat ass funerals.
The 8 hopefuls revolted at the Queen, shouting insults and heading toward the door to flee from the hateful witch. One man, a black 300 pound artist from Detroit, tossed a middle finger to her and spoke.
Fat Man: Dustin Delta was right about you. Ain't nothing but a rancid bitch.
Wolverina's eyes came out from their sockets in anger. She screamed at him, a most profound look of fury joining it, virtually identical to the expression Stephanie Macmahon wore at the 26:06-26:18 mark of the following video (basically last 15 seconds of video):
She sped toward her antagonist and drove the end of her boot into his fat face, collapsing him into a heap along the floor. Some stayed to tend to the injured man, while others escaped. The Queen of Queens pointed down at the man, then lashed out verbally to what was left of the crew.
Wolverina: Delta knows nothing! He is a propaganda artist. Let me give you the low-down on Dustin Delta. He struts around GHW yammering about having the longest cumulative KOTDM title reign, and blah blah blah. He runs his melee mouth about how I never won the title in the first place. Let me tell you something, hey, stop nursing on that man and listen to me I AM WOLVERINA I AM QUEEN I AM MORE IMPORTANT! Back when I started in EVPW and GHW I tore through the competition in the low and mid cards. Yet instead of getting the main event push I deserved, they tried to stick me in the tag team circuit so that I could just look all pretty on the apron and never really do anything. Did you know they never even wanted to let me try for the TV title? I had to threaten them with a lawsuit just to get that, but when I finally did I won the title, and held it multiple times. I was unstoppable in that division and beat all comers. Then I noticed my male counterparts, men I beat, get put into main event matches for the KOTDM title and World title, yet when I went to the bosses and asked for the same, guess what happened? They told me to my face that a woman as KOTDM champion or World Champion would make those respective championships lose their luster and mystique. To appease me and avoid a lawsuit, they stuck me in the ring with then KOTDM Champion, Darth That Guy. I destroyed him, but at the last minute was screwed over and robbed of my championship. Two weeks later DTG was gone and hasn't been seen since, yet I am still here. I had two options. 1 - accept the bosses views and remain eye candy on the apron or 2 - come up with a plan to get what was mine. So I did it. I talked my brother into winning the title for me. He walked into his first match ever, a KOTDM title match, a match that Delta had already competed in and knew inside and out, and whooped his dainty little ass. The next night my brother handed me over the title, an act which has happened several times in the wrestling business and was accepted at the time. He says my brother was an errand boy and he is damn right, but at least it was for a justifiable cause and not simple pandering to someone in order to gain favoritism. The difference between he and I in that circumstance is this: I DIDN'T want to do it... I can, have, and will beat the likes of him and everyone else, but because of narrow minded Genuises I was denied and inso-facto forced to do it. Dustin, on the other hand, WANTED to throw away his friendship with that little meek bitch Haven Cassady, to do the bidding of a man who didn't have the balls to do it himself. So I ask you, who's the hypocrite here? Me or him? Huh? WHO?
Out of pure fear the remaining contingent of porkies screamed Dustin's name repeatedly. That pleased the GodQueen and she stopped her rant. Security intervened a moment later, and escorted Wolverina away without further incident.
EOT
gahwo.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=ring&thread=14476&page=1
At some point during the upcoming TNT broadcast, Big Al and Fuzz come to you from their commentator table, their heads collectively shaking.
Fuzz: Folks, as you all witnessed on GHW Live!, Wolverina has, well, become a bit loose from reality. Dustin, God bless his soul, tried to talk sense into her but it backfired. But...
Big Al: ... In the days since her confrontation with Delta, the GodQueen has stooped to a new low. She was recently invited to be a special guest on a episode of The Biggest Loser, you know, the show were a bunch of obese people try to lose as much weight as possible and the one who loses the most wins. Words can not express how deeply troubled we are about what you are about to see. You must see it to believe it.
The feed went black then opened to show Alison Sweney, the host of The Biggest Loser, standing in front of 8 obese people whom all wore nervous and excited faces. She smiled sweetly to them and they applauded.
Alison: Welcome to the next round here on The Biggest Loser. You've all done sooooooo well the past few weeks. I am so proud of you. Tonight's episode is special, because I have gone and invited a very courageous young woman to visit you. So without further adieu, I present to you pro wrestling sensation and current GHW World Champion Haven "Wolverina" Cassady.
The 8 of them, apparently all wrestling fans, hollered and clapped their hands vigorously, clearly excited to be in the presence of such greatness. Wolverina stepped through the door wearing a nice pin stripped suit, which made her appear professional despite her less than professional attitude as of late. Draped regally over her shoulder was wrestling's richest prize, the GHW Championship, which she took from Santiago after beating him in the biggest match in history. The GodQueen approached Alison with a small smile, and hugged her before sending the host on her merry way, leaving the People's Princess alone with the 8 happy people. Haven lifted her hand and summoned them to cease their applause. They obeyed.
Wolverina: As you heard, I am Wolverina, the greatest female Fighty fighty person in history and current GHW Champion. This is the part where I would normally go around and ask each of your names and appear interested in your story, but I am not going to do that. I did not come here to be your friend. I came here to enlighten you. I came to drop some knowledge on you. Did you know I used be fat like all of you? Oh it's true, it's true. I know it is hard to believe now, because I am fit, toned, beautiful and pretty much the epitome of all that a woman is supposed to be in the new age - minus the plastic enhancements of course. But when I was 10 years old, oooooooh I was BIG, big as a barn. Something happened though. I decided to not be fat anymore and changed my ways from that day forward. Quick, tell me why you guys are fat. Go ahead. No judging here.
Wolfie went down the line, hearing their reasons and nodding each time all knowingly. When they were finished, she took a deep breath in and out.
Wolverina: Ok so I just heard 8 different reasons, ranging from thigh-roid disease to genetics to unhappiness. I am here to call BULLSHIT on all of that. Beating obesity is easy. All you have to do is eat right, exercise, have a strong mind and a good family/friend support system. Actually, I just described my story. See, unlike all of you, I had a supportive family growing up. You wanna know what happened when I was caught sneaking a fatty cake? My dad took off his belt and whooped me real good. Then, he would make me bail extra hay. On top of that, he would deny me dinner. That's LOVE. That's SUPPORT! He didn't fill my head with that mumbo-jumbo "You're fine just the way you are" bullshit like your loved ones did you. The real reason each and every one of you are fat is this: YOU EAT TOO FUCKING MUCH. I was paid to come here and give you advice on how to lose weight, but it's impossible, or would be for any other person. But I am not ordinary. I am above all others. I am going to produce a mircale just like I did at neXus when I defeated the great Dominik Santiago. So here we go. All of you close your eyes, I am going to start with the mental aspect of it. Go ahead, close them.
The 8 looked to one another and shook their heads in disbelief of the GodQueen's attitude, but on the off chance she may be unto something, they obliged and closed their eyes.
Wolverina: Now clear your mind. Imagine the new you. The person you want to be. Imagine yourself without all that weight. Imagine yourself at the beach, in the water with a sexy bikini on, or for you guys imagine yourself looking oh so fine with your shirts off. The men and women are looking at you, admiring you, wanting to be with you, inside you, near you, they're wanting to be exactly like you just like everyone does when looking at me in real life. Now hold that imagine, savor it, and open your eyes to me.
They obeyed and peered at Haven with happy expressions, new determination flaring in their oculars.
Wolverina: Good. What you just invisiioned is the closest you will ever get to losing weight, because each of you are FAT FUCKING PIECES OF LARDWAD! You steal my oxygen, you make the elevators smelly at the mall because of the damn fat-sweat you secrete just by breathing, and I'm almost certain you fat fuckers disturb the tectonic plates that cause earthquakes world-wide. I've looked each of you in the eye and can see that all of you are sheep. There's not a wolf among you. None of you have the will power and motivation it will take to lose weight and keep it off. None of you are me! Sure, one of you will lose enough weight to be called a winner at the end of this season, but you, just like the rest of the fatties in the world, will always be a loser. And you will probably go right back to gorging your fat face and wind up back to square one within a year. So here is my best piece of advice. Sucide... it's painless and easy and will put an end to all your problems and we, the good and fit people of the world, will be eternally grateful. Heck, as an incentive I'll even promise to attend your fat ass funerals.
The 8 hopefuls revolted at the Queen, shouting insults and heading toward the door to flee from the hateful witch. One man, a black 300 pound artist from Detroit, tossed a middle finger to her and spoke.
Fat Man: Dustin Delta was right about you. Ain't nothing but a rancid bitch.
Wolverina's eyes came out from their sockets in anger. She screamed at him, a most profound look of fury joining it, virtually identical to the expression Stephanie Macmahon wore at the 26:06-26:18 mark of the following video (basically last 15 seconds of video):
She sped toward her antagonist and drove the end of her boot into his fat face, collapsing him into a heap along the floor. Some stayed to tend to the injured man, while others escaped. The Queen of Queens pointed down at the man, then lashed out verbally to what was left of the crew.
Wolverina: Delta knows nothing! He is a propaganda artist. Let me give you the low-down on Dustin Delta. He struts around GHW yammering about having the longest cumulative KOTDM title reign, and blah blah blah. He runs his melee mouth about how I never won the title in the first place. Let me tell you something, hey, stop nursing on that man and listen to me I AM WOLVERINA I AM QUEEN I AM MORE IMPORTANT! Back when I started in EVPW and GHW I tore through the competition in the low and mid cards. Yet instead of getting the main event push I deserved, they tried to stick me in the tag team circuit so that I could just look all pretty on the apron and never really do anything. Did you know they never even wanted to let me try for the TV title? I had to threaten them with a lawsuit just to get that, but when I finally did I won the title, and held it multiple times. I was unstoppable in that division and beat all comers. Then I noticed my male counterparts, men I beat, get put into main event matches for the KOTDM title and World title, yet when I went to the bosses and asked for the same, guess what happened? They told me to my face that a woman as KOTDM champion or World Champion would make those respective championships lose their luster and mystique. To appease me and avoid a lawsuit, they stuck me in the ring with then KOTDM Champion, Darth That Guy. I destroyed him, but at the last minute was screwed over and robbed of my championship. Two weeks later DTG was gone and hasn't been seen since, yet I am still here. I had two options. 1 - accept the bosses views and remain eye candy on the apron or 2 - come up with a plan to get what was mine. So I did it. I talked my brother into winning the title for me. He walked into his first match ever, a KOTDM title match, a match that Delta had already competed in and knew inside and out, and whooped his dainty little ass. The next night my brother handed me over the title, an act which has happened several times in the wrestling business and was accepted at the time. He says my brother was an errand boy and he is damn right, but at least it was for a justifiable cause and not simple pandering to someone in order to gain favoritism. The difference between he and I in that circumstance is this: I DIDN'T want to do it... I can, have, and will beat the likes of him and everyone else, but because of narrow minded Genuises I was denied and inso-facto forced to do it. Dustin, on the other hand, WANTED to throw away his friendship with that little meek bitch Haven Cassady, to do the bidding of a man who didn't have the balls to do it himself. So I ask you, who's the hypocrite here? Me or him? Huh? WHO?
Out of pure fear the remaining contingent of porkies screamed Dustin's name repeatedly. That pleased the GodQueen and she stopped her rant. Security intervened a moment later, and escorted Wolverina away without further incident.
EOT