Post by Cletus & Big Jim on Nov 7, 2012 0:15:16 GMT -5
Camera centres on the commentary team as the house cools down from the last contest and the Logging Crew’s opposition makes it way to the ring
Well that was a helluva match…
I’ll say, you have to wonder though, how much did that take out of Hayden HardKore going into his big match with the GHW Champion, Mighty Man Millson, later on tonight.
Positively. Of course, I figure that, as good as that fight might have been, this next one won’t be anything short of an execution, as two local boys get ready to be put through the wood chipper that is the Logging Crew.
They are new arrivals with a lot to prove here. Did you hear what they did to that manager, The English Rose?
(Smirking)Yes sir, I heard her petals were bruised…
(Rolling eyes) Let’s go up to Charlie Coors
Camera shifts to inside the ring. Charlie Coors stands with two men roughly at his back
Our next contest is set for one fall. In the ring at this time, at a combined weight of 509lbs, and hailing from right here in Boston, the team of Coco Jones & Tony Lombardi.
The two grapplers, one a stocky fellow in green and the other a handsome strapping chap in blue, gesture to the crowd, who respond with a modest pop, likely owing to their being natives of Bean Town.
A couple of fan favourites from the local independent circuit, who seem to have brought a cheering section with them tonight. They’ll need some luck, but every dog has its day.
Today ain’t the day for these boys, you mark my words. They look like they mighta been good prospects ten years and twenty pounds ago, but now they’re nothing but dead meat.
The strained voice of Huddy Leadbetter is heard singing Where did you sleep last night? over the building sound system
And here come the butchers!
Their opponents, making their debut in GHW, have a combined weight of 526 lbs, Cletus the Lumberjack and Big Jim, The Logging Crew.
The Logging Crew stride out into view, Cletus decked in is trademark black watch cap, Mackinaw jacket, and carrying his double-bitted axe, followed by Big Jim wrapped in animal skins and logging chains, and eerily fascinated by his pulp hook. Both men look intent and are seemingly oblivious to the boos that shower them, born of an audience sure that these men will humiliate the hometown boys.
Cletus produces a microphone.
Jimmy, I don’t understand it, first I have a match, then you have a match instead and now we both have a match instead of that. I don’t think the suits in the back know if the hole of their arse is punched or bored or gnawed out by a rat!
They’re as clumsy as a cub bear playin’ with himself, but Cletus, you know how much fun I would’ve had, if I had been wrestling one of these guys…
That’s true Jimmy, some things are worth doing twice…
Cletus drops the microphone and both men head to the ring.
No doubt about it, a couple of intimidating characters.
That’s a typical understatement; I mean Cletus has got a screw loose for sure and this other guy, Jim, he’s more animal than man I heard.
Who told you that?
The English Rose of course…
The combatants are now in the ring and, as the Logging Crew remove their entrance garb, the referee inspects their opponents. After giving Cletus & Big Jim the once over, he steps aside and calls for the bell.
Big Jim and Cletus strategize in the corner for a moment, while Coco Jones paces impatiently and goads the lumbermen from the safety of his own corner. Finally, Jim comes to the centre of the ring and the two men lock up and we’re underway. The two grapplers struggle momentarily before Jim maneuvers his way into control with a standing top wrist lock. Jones winces in pain as the woodsman attempts to use every inch of his leverage advantage to inflict pain on his smaller foe. Struggling, the hometown boy tries to fight back, pushing up against his lanky adversary. The Black Rapids native will have none of it however, and trips Jones to the mat. Releasing the wrist lock, he gives his challenger a stiff kick to the solar plexus, and proceeds to grab Jones’ legs, steps in front of the Bostonian’s arms, and stretches the legs backward; an excruciating stump puller.
That’s an ugly move Al…
And it’ll give you an ugly feeling Fuzzie. I doubt Jim is going to get a submission with it, but it’ll certainly make Coco Jones question why he ever got into wrestling.
Jones’s face is contorted in pain, while Jim’s is somewhat more tranquil, totally in control and relishing a human contact he is so often denied. Tony Lombardi tries to will his partner on from the apron, and Cletus howls for his mate to keep the pressure on. At length, no doubt realizing, as Al did, that a submission is unlikely, Jim frees Jones and, after delivering a few kicks to his shoulder blade area, makes the tag to Cletus.
Sensing an opportunity, Coco makes a feeble attempt to reach his corner, but is caught. The gleeful lumberjack taunts Lombardi and spits in his face. This, of course brings the offended hero into the ring, flushed with righteous indignation. The old trope plays itself out as the referee admonishes the overzealous grappler and The Logging Crew make use of an opportunity to double team, putting the boots to their prone enemy. Cletus slaps on a fearsome shoulder claw, digging his fingers into the soft flesh of the trapezius.
This is smart wrestling by The Logging Crew, their slowing things down and grinding their opponents nice and slow. You also know that the big man Cletus is in Coco’s ear, playing the head games.
Sure enough, Cletus does appear to be talking to his prey, though the pained expression on Jones’ face betrays little of his inner feelings.
Jones has got to make a tag.
You ain’t whistlin’ Dixie…
The hefty birler shifts tactics and, grabbing his foe’s hands, applies a straightjacket submission. Wrenching back, Cletus gains a slow and sly nod from his corner and Lombardi begins clapping, stomping and chanting, hoping to inspire the crowd and, with their adulation, change his team’s fortunes. The light cheers seem to have some effect, as Jones attempts to pitch and roll himself free. Aware of his position in the ring, he flails his legs and manages to hook the ropes. Cletus reluctantly releases the hold and Coco falls supine on the mat. The beast of Beaubears winds up to deliver an elbow drop, but Coco manages to roll clear. As Cletus writhes in pain, the men of Massachusetts finally make the tag the crowd has been waiting for.
Alright, it looks like the boys from Bean Town have a little life in them yet. Let’s see if Cletus can take it as well as he dishes it out.
The fresh man catches Cletus coming on a late interception and fires him into the ropes, catching him with a running clothesline that sends the big man to the mat for the first time in the bout. The crowd begins to come alive in support of the journeymen and Lombardi tries to seal the deal with a pin, but only gets a two count.
Too soon, you’ll need a lot more than a clothesline to keep a guy like this down for a three count.
Tony mounts the turnbuckle as Cletus, visibly shaken by the flurry, makes it to his feet. An attempted flying axe handle by the Puritan City powerhouse falls short as his woodsy counterpart has the presence of mind to land a shot to the gut on his flying foe. Cletus follows up this desperation tactic by waiting for Lombardi to rise, before charging in and flattening him with a vicious chop block. With their opposition hobbled, Cletus tags out.
Big Jim helps the wounded warrior to his feet, only to send him stumbling backwards into the ropes after a chilling inverted atomic drop. Not wasting his time, Jim launches himself at Tony and both men tumble to the outside after a cactus clothesline. Immediately, both partners jump to the floor and rush to the scene of the crash, colliding over the prone bodies of their comrades. Jim makes it to his feet first, and ignoring the melee his partner is embroiled in, drags Lombardi to his feet and rolls him into the ring. Having left his opponent’s head hanging outside, Big Jim now walks the apron to deliver a guillotine leg drop that sucks the air out of the arena.
Whoa, a savage leg drop right there. Lombardi will have nightmares for a month about that big leg crashing down upon him.
Tony frailly crawls to a neutral corner, trying to gain some respite, but is stalked by the crazed lumberman, who scrapes the sole of his boots across Lombardi’s panting visage in a humiliating face wash. Wishing to further capitalize on the pitiable state of his opposition, Jim backs up to furnish a running kick, but miscalculates allowing Tony to roll clear before the blow strikes home. The lumberman collides with the turnbuckle, and the Bean Town bruiser summons enough strength to mash the plaid clad lad into the buckle once more for good measure. He then falls into a tag.
He didn’t really make the tag; he just sorta fell into it. Sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good I guess.
No argument there, and it seems that Jones and Lombardi have been lucky so far tonight just to survive. For how much longer though, I can’t say.
Coco comes in like a house of fire and hits a jumping head-butt, followed by a standing dropkick, much to the crowd’s delight. The Logging Crew have seen enough and after Big Jim rolls out of the ring, the two men meet to discuss strategy and rub the animal skins. The crowd voices their disapproval, as does the team in the ring, but they can only wait on the referee’s count. Satisfied with the slight delay in the action, Big Jim climbs onto the apron to resume the conflict, but pauses briefly to take a longing glace at the hide he has just fondled. Jones tries to take advantage by attempting an apron suplex, but halfway through the move Cletus hooks his leg, sending Jim crashing down on top of him for a near fall.
As both men make it to their feet, the gent from the New Brunswick wilds pounces on his quarry with a rear naked choke. As he wraps his legs around the New Englander in a controlling body scissors, Jim’s face twists into a fiendish smile. Rescue for Jones is quick in coming as his partner storms into the ring and begins kicking, trying to break Jim’s grip. The referee quickly ushers him away, allowing Cletus an opportunity to get his licks in on the motionless Jones and duck put before the official regains control. Frustrated that Coco has hung on this long, Jim now begins to bite him, which earns him more than a little reproach from the man in zebra stripes. Having taken his tongue-lashing, Jim is eager to return to punishing his foe. Coco has the wherewithal to give the woodsman a shot in the throat and try a small package for the win, albeit in vain. The surge does prove enough of a shock to Big Jim that Coco can make a tag to Lombardi, who whips the timber cruiser into the buckle, mounts him and rains blows upon him while the crowd counts along.
The crowd is on their feet, we could be looking at the beginnings of an upset!
Jim manages to execute another inverted atomic drop and, dragging Lombardi into his corner, makes the tag to Cletus. The two whistle punks begin to double up on the double axe handles, continuing until the Boston native is flat on his belly. Cletus waits until Tony struggles to his feet to slap on a bear hug, hoping to sap the last reserves of Lombardi’s strength.
The crowd cry out for their native son, and, after being prevented from a hair pull and two eye gouges by the ardent official, he manages to break the hold with a bell lap that leaves the cutter with ringing ears. A tag is not in Coco Jones immediate future however, as Tony makes it only a few shaking steps, before Cletus pulls him back toward the centre of the ring and rakes his back. An Irish whip and stun gun flapjack leaves the local boy lying as the Logging Crew switch out.
Big Jim hauls Lombardi to his feet and, as before, sends him back from whence he came, this time with the aid of a Russian Leg Sweep. He then sinks in the dreaded Pulp Hook claw hold, and seconds before potentially ending the match up, stretches out his arm and tags his partner in.
They’re toying with him now Fuzzie. This match could have been over a couple of times already. The Logging Crew is just here to torture them, I love it!
Cletus surveys the prostrate Fighty fighty person at his feet and takes to the ropes intent on meting out a leg drop. Tony still has the presence of mind to get out of the way, and as bad vibrations run along Cletus’ spine, the men once dubbed ‘dead meat’ make a hot tag that gets the crowd’s attention again.
They got too cocky Al! They should have finished it while they had the chance.
Somewhat embarrassed, Cletus charges to meet Coco Jones, but is met with a power slam. He scrambles to his feet, still on rubber legs, and is clamped in a headlock. Coco grinds the hold, working his arm around the woodsman’s head. Cletus tries to bounce himself of the ropes, but to no avail. He tries again, but Jones stops short, clearly in control at this point. Finally, Cletus resorts to a half-hearted atomic drop that sets him free. He tries to capitalize but receives a shot to the gut; he makes a quick circle and raises a double axe handle, but gets interrupted by an elbow to midsection. The crowd is now visibly stirring as, for the first time, The Logging Crew seem to have no answer to the momentum of the local warriors.
Get ready to eat your words Al, it looks like The Logging Crew was all sizzle and no steak.
Coco sends him to the buckle and begins to pummel the lumberjack’s abdomen with rights and lefts. Cletus tries a knee and a switch out to stop the onslaught, but his own shot is blocked and Jones punches his way out of the corner and finishes off with a wind-up punch that elicits a respectable pop from the multitudes. Calling for the end, Jones sets up for a piledriver.
Cletus muscles out with a back body drop, and, visibly angered, spins Coco into a short-arm clothesline that turns him inside out and upside down. Cletus then charges Tony, knocking him off the apron with forearm club. Pointing an accusing finger at the powerless Jones, Cletus tags Jim.
You were saying?
Jim mounts the turnbuckle and Cletus picks up Jones in a hanging backbreaker. Jim leaps and connects with a flying axe handle to Coco’s sternum; he falls lifeless to the canvas. Jim makes the cover and the referee counts the final three.
Your winners of the match, Cletus the Lumberjack and Big Jim, The Logging Crew
The Logging Crew isn’t finished yet however. Big Jim hauls Tony Lombardi into the ring and immediately delivers the Hermit’s Hangover. Meanwhile, Cletus wraps Coco Jones around the Ol’ Bent Pine, deaf to his screams and the loud disapproval from the crowd. At length, Big Jim arrives to shower kicks upon Jones’ exposed midsection.
What is this? The match is over; there’s no call for this sort of thing!
This is just a little extra-curricular activity Fuzzie, the boys having some fun; unwinding a little…
This is sick is what it is! They proved their point by winning the match.
Obviously they don’t see it that way.
The two deranged lumberjacks now Put Coco through the Mill, stretching his body between a figure four leg lock and a triangle hold. Amidst a jeering and increasingly irate crowd reaction, Jim emits a series of feral screams, while Cletus sings Joe Smith’s The Grainfield Girls at the top of his voice. Finally a clutch of officials come to the ring and, threatening to reverse the decision at the sight of this display of un-sportsman like conduct, convince The Logging Crew to relinquish their hold and leave the ring.
As they make their way toward the locker room, Jim wraps himself in his moose skin and Cletus eyes the camera and repeatedly asks the question, “What did you expect?”
Well that was a helluva match…
I’ll say, you have to wonder though, how much did that take out of Hayden HardKore going into his big match with the GHW Champion, Mighty Man Millson, later on tonight.
Positively. Of course, I figure that, as good as that fight might have been, this next one won’t be anything short of an execution, as two local boys get ready to be put through the wood chipper that is the Logging Crew.
They are new arrivals with a lot to prove here. Did you hear what they did to that manager, The English Rose?
(Smirking)Yes sir, I heard her petals were bruised…
(Rolling eyes) Let’s go up to Charlie Coors
Camera shifts to inside the ring. Charlie Coors stands with two men roughly at his back
Our next contest is set for one fall. In the ring at this time, at a combined weight of 509lbs, and hailing from right here in Boston, the team of Coco Jones & Tony Lombardi.
The two grapplers, one a stocky fellow in green and the other a handsome strapping chap in blue, gesture to the crowd, who respond with a modest pop, likely owing to their being natives of Bean Town.
A couple of fan favourites from the local independent circuit, who seem to have brought a cheering section with them tonight. They’ll need some luck, but every dog has its day.
Today ain’t the day for these boys, you mark my words. They look like they mighta been good prospects ten years and twenty pounds ago, but now they’re nothing but dead meat.
The strained voice of Huddy Leadbetter is heard singing Where did you sleep last night? over the building sound system
And here come the butchers!
Their opponents, making their debut in GHW, have a combined weight of 526 lbs, Cletus the Lumberjack and Big Jim, The Logging Crew.
The Logging Crew stride out into view, Cletus decked in is trademark black watch cap, Mackinaw jacket, and carrying his double-bitted axe, followed by Big Jim wrapped in animal skins and logging chains, and eerily fascinated by his pulp hook. Both men look intent and are seemingly oblivious to the boos that shower them, born of an audience sure that these men will humiliate the hometown boys.
Cletus produces a microphone.
Jimmy, I don’t understand it, first I have a match, then you have a match instead and now we both have a match instead of that. I don’t think the suits in the back know if the hole of their arse is punched or bored or gnawed out by a rat!
They’re as clumsy as a cub bear playin’ with himself, but Cletus, you know how much fun I would’ve had, if I had been wrestling one of these guys…
That’s true Jimmy, some things are worth doing twice…
Cletus drops the microphone and both men head to the ring.
No doubt about it, a couple of intimidating characters.
That’s a typical understatement; I mean Cletus has got a screw loose for sure and this other guy, Jim, he’s more animal than man I heard.
Who told you that?
The English Rose of course…
The combatants are now in the ring and, as the Logging Crew remove their entrance garb, the referee inspects their opponents. After giving Cletus & Big Jim the once over, he steps aside and calls for the bell.
Big Jim and Cletus strategize in the corner for a moment, while Coco Jones paces impatiently and goads the lumbermen from the safety of his own corner. Finally, Jim comes to the centre of the ring and the two men lock up and we’re underway. The two grapplers struggle momentarily before Jim maneuvers his way into control with a standing top wrist lock. Jones winces in pain as the woodsman attempts to use every inch of his leverage advantage to inflict pain on his smaller foe. Struggling, the hometown boy tries to fight back, pushing up against his lanky adversary. The Black Rapids native will have none of it however, and trips Jones to the mat. Releasing the wrist lock, he gives his challenger a stiff kick to the solar plexus, and proceeds to grab Jones’ legs, steps in front of the Bostonian’s arms, and stretches the legs backward; an excruciating stump puller.
That’s an ugly move Al…
And it’ll give you an ugly feeling Fuzzie. I doubt Jim is going to get a submission with it, but it’ll certainly make Coco Jones question why he ever got into wrestling.
Jones’s face is contorted in pain, while Jim’s is somewhat more tranquil, totally in control and relishing a human contact he is so often denied. Tony Lombardi tries to will his partner on from the apron, and Cletus howls for his mate to keep the pressure on. At length, no doubt realizing, as Al did, that a submission is unlikely, Jim frees Jones and, after delivering a few kicks to his shoulder blade area, makes the tag to Cletus.
Sensing an opportunity, Coco makes a feeble attempt to reach his corner, but is caught. The gleeful lumberjack taunts Lombardi and spits in his face. This, of course brings the offended hero into the ring, flushed with righteous indignation. The old trope plays itself out as the referee admonishes the overzealous grappler and The Logging Crew make use of an opportunity to double team, putting the boots to their prone enemy. Cletus slaps on a fearsome shoulder claw, digging his fingers into the soft flesh of the trapezius.
This is smart wrestling by The Logging Crew, their slowing things down and grinding their opponents nice and slow. You also know that the big man Cletus is in Coco’s ear, playing the head games.
Sure enough, Cletus does appear to be talking to his prey, though the pained expression on Jones’ face betrays little of his inner feelings.
Jones has got to make a tag.
You ain’t whistlin’ Dixie…
The hefty birler shifts tactics and, grabbing his foe’s hands, applies a straightjacket submission. Wrenching back, Cletus gains a slow and sly nod from his corner and Lombardi begins clapping, stomping and chanting, hoping to inspire the crowd and, with their adulation, change his team’s fortunes. The light cheers seem to have some effect, as Jones attempts to pitch and roll himself free. Aware of his position in the ring, he flails his legs and manages to hook the ropes. Cletus reluctantly releases the hold and Coco falls supine on the mat. The beast of Beaubears winds up to deliver an elbow drop, but Coco manages to roll clear. As Cletus writhes in pain, the men of Massachusetts finally make the tag the crowd has been waiting for.
Alright, it looks like the boys from Bean Town have a little life in them yet. Let’s see if Cletus can take it as well as he dishes it out.
The fresh man catches Cletus coming on a late interception and fires him into the ropes, catching him with a running clothesline that sends the big man to the mat for the first time in the bout. The crowd begins to come alive in support of the journeymen and Lombardi tries to seal the deal with a pin, but only gets a two count.
Too soon, you’ll need a lot more than a clothesline to keep a guy like this down for a three count.
Tony mounts the turnbuckle as Cletus, visibly shaken by the flurry, makes it to his feet. An attempted flying axe handle by the Puritan City powerhouse falls short as his woodsy counterpart has the presence of mind to land a shot to the gut on his flying foe. Cletus follows up this desperation tactic by waiting for Lombardi to rise, before charging in and flattening him with a vicious chop block. With their opposition hobbled, Cletus tags out.
Big Jim helps the wounded warrior to his feet, only to send him stumbling backwards into the ropes after a chilling inverted atomic drop. Not wasting his time, Jim launches himself at Tony and both men tumble to the outside after a cactus clothesline. Immediately, both partners jump to the floor and rush to the scene of the crash, colliding over the prone bodies of their comrades. Jim makes it to his feet first, and ignoring the melee his partner is embroiled in, drags Lombardi to his feet and rolls him into the ring. Having left his opponent’s head hanging outside, Big Jim now walks the apron to deliver a guillotine leg drop that sucks the air out of the arena.
Whoa, a savage leg drop right there. Lombardi will have nightmares for a month about that big leg crashing down upon him.
Tony frailly crawls to a neutral corner, trying to gain some respite, but is stalked by the crazed lumberman, who scrapes the sole of his boots across Lombardi’s panting visage in a humiliating face wash. Wishing to further capitalize on the pitiable state of his opposition, Jim backs up to furnish a running kick, but miscalculates allowing Tony to roll clear before the blow strikes home. The lumberman collides with the turnbuckle, and the Bean Town bruiser summons enough strength to mash the plaid clad lad into the buckle once more for good measure. He then falls into a tag.
He didn’t really make the tag; he just sorta fell into it. Sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good I guess.
No argument there, and it seems that Jones and Lombardi have been lucky so far tonight just to survive. For how much longer though, I can’t say.
Coco comes in like a house of fire and hits a jumping head-butt, followed by a standing dropkick, much to the crowd’s delight. The Logging Crew have seen enough and after Big Jim rolls out of the ring, the two men meet to discuss strategy and rub the animal skins. The crowd voices their disapproval, as does the team in the ring, but they can only wait on the referee’s count. Satisfied with the slight delay in the action, Big Jim climbs onto the apron to resume the conflict, but pauses briefly to take a longing glace at the hide he has just fondled. Jones tries to take advantage by attempting an apron suplex, but halfway through the move Cletus hooks his leg, sending Jim crashing down on top of him for a near fall.
As both men make it to their feet, the gent from the New Brunswick wilds pounces on his quarry with a rear naked choke. As he wraps his legs around the New Englander in a controlling body scissors, Jim’s face twists into a fiendish smile. Rescue for Jones is quick in coming as his partner storms into the ring and begins kicking, trying to break Jim’s grip. The referee quickly ushers him away, allowing Cletus an opportunity to get his licks in on the motionless Jones and duck put before the official regains control. Frustrated that Coco has hung on this long, Jim now begins to bite him, which earns him more than a little reproach from the man in zebra stripes. Having taken his tongue-lashing, Jim is eager to return to punishing his foe. Coco has the wherewithal to give the woodsman a shot in the throat and try a small package for the win, albeit in vain. The surge does prove enough of a shock to Big Jim that Coco can make a tag to Lombardi, who whips the timber cruiser into the buckle, mounts him and rains blows upon him while the crowd counts along.
The crowd is on their feet, we could be looking at the beginnings of an upset!
Jim manages to execute another inverted atomic drop and, dragging Lombardi into his corner, makes the tag to Cletus. The two whistle punks begin to double up on the double axe handles, continuing until the Boston native is flat on his belly. Cletus waits until Tony struggles to his feet to slap on a bear hug, hoping to sap the last reserves of Lombardi’s strength.
The crowd cry out for their native son, and, after being prevented from a hair pull and two eye gouges by the ardent official, he manages to break the hold with a bell lap that leaves the cutter with ringing ears. A tag is not in Coco Jones immediate future however, as Tony makes it only a few shaking steps, before Cletus pulls him back toward the centre of the ring and rakes his back. An Irish whip and stun gun flapjack leaves the local boy lying as the Logging Crew switch out.
Big Jim hauls Lombardi to his feet and, as before, sends him back from whence he came, this time with the aid of a Russian Leg Sweep. He then sinks in the dreaded Pulp Hook claw hold, and seconds before potentially ending the match up, stretches out his arm and tags his partner in.
They’re toying with him now Fuzzie. This match could have been over a couple of times already. The Logging Crew is just here to torture them, I love it!
Cletus surveys the prostrate Fighty fighty person at his feet and takes to the ropes intent on meting out a leg drop. Tony still has the presence of mind to get out of the way, and as bad vibrations run along Cletus’ spine, the men once dubbed ‘dead meat’ make a hot tag that gets the crowd’s attention again.
They got too cocky Al! They should have finished it while they had the chance.
Somewhat embarrassed, Cletus charges to meet Coco Jones, but is met with a power slam. He scrambles to his feet, still on rubber legs, and is clamped in a headlock. Coco grinds the hold, working his arm around the woodsman’s head. Cletus tries to bounce himself of the ropes, but to no avail. He tries again, but Jones stops short, clearly in control at this point. Finally, Cletus resorts to a half-hearted atomic drop that sets him free. He tries to capitalize but receives a shot to the gut; he makes a quick circle and raises a double axe handle, but gets interrupted by an elbow to midsection. The crowd is now visibly stirring as, for the first time, The Logging Crew seem to have no answer to the momentum of the local warriors.
Get ready to eat your words Al, it looks like The Logging Crew was all sizzle and no steak.
Coco sends him to the buckle and begins to pummel the lumberjack’s abdomen with rights and lefts. Cletus tries a knee and a switch out to stop the onslaught, but his own shot is blocked and Jones punches his way out of the corner and finishes off with a wind-up punch that elicits a respectable pop from the multitudes. Calling for the end, Jones sets up for a piledriver.
Cletus muscles out with a back body drop, and, visibly angered, spins Coco into a short-arm clothesline that turns him inside out and upside down. Cletus then charges Tony, knocking him off the apron with forearm club. Pointing an accusing finger at the powerless Jones, Cletus tags Jim.
You were saying?
Jim mounts the turnbuckle and Cletus picks up Jones in a hanging backbreaker. Jim leaps and connects with a flying axe handle to Coco’s sternum; he falls lifeless to the canvas. Jim makes the cover and the referee counts the final three.
Your winners of the match, Cletus the Lumberjack and Big Jim, The Logging Crew
The Logging Crew isn’t finished yet however. Big Jim hauls Tony Lombardi into the ring and immediately delivers the Hermit’s Hangover. Meanwhile, Cletus wraps Coco Jones around the Ol’ Bent Pine, deaf to his screams and the loud disapproval from the crowd. At length, Big Jim arrives to shower kicks upon Jones’ exposed midsection.
What is this? The match is over; there’s no call for this sort of thing!
This is just a little extra-curricular activity Fuzzie, the boys having some fun; unwinding a little…
This is sick is what it is! They proved their point by winning the match.
Obviously they don’t see it that way.
The two deranged lumberjacks now Put Coco through the Mill, stretching his body between a figure four leg lock and a triangle hold. Amidst a jeering and increasingly irate crowd reaction, Jim emits a series of feral screams, while Cletus sings Joe Smith’s The Grainfield Girls at the top of his voice. Finally a clutch of officials come to the ring and, threatening to reverse the decision at the sight of this display of un-sportsman like conduct, convince The Logging Crew to relinquish their hold and leave the ring.
As they make their way toward the locker room, Jim wraps himself in his moose skin and Cletus eyes the camera and repeatedly asks the question, “What did you expect?”