Post by Psychotic Circus on Mar 1, 2013 23:27:08 GMT -5
Once upon a time, I was but a mere boy at the tender age of 18. I had the world at my beck and call as I scrubbed those dishes at the local Applebee's clean at nine bucks an hour. Now, look down all you want, but full time work at nine bucks an hour in small town Nebraska meant that I was a boss. I could blow money eating out every night, smokes, rent on a classy apartment and even make the frequent two hour trips to Blair Nebraska and sit laughing at the Speedee Mart as a certain person bought her mountain dews and made awkward passes at the cashier that were always turned down much to the disgust of the flat chested harlot who tried way to hard.
Yes, it was a simpler time, a time when I could do as I wished and worry not of the consequences. This is where our story breaks off into three parts.
During one of my trips to visit my brother in Denver, I happened upon a hobo that was equal parts knowledge and crapped underwear. He looked at me and pointed, signaling me out from the crowd of drunken guidos and pillow biters that were my brother's bestest of friends. He told me something, something that has started to haunt my dreams. He simply said "Look all you want, let my life be a lesson. Family will screw you over before your friends even think about it." A dollar later I just walked away, thinking nothing of that Street Prophet. Oh how I wished I had listened.
Not long after this incident I was called by my sister, she had gotten into a fight with her cell phone provider and needed to switch. Problem was, she needed a co-signor to get a plan at the brand new company that had started in our home town. Viaero wireless. I, being not the great Satan that you all think that I am, Co-signed her plan for her and thought nothing of it. I should of been a smarter man.
That brings us to the third story of my generosity. You see, about three years ago I was living in Lincoln, Nebraska and freshly moved away from my parent's. One day I had gotten a phone call I had never expected. It was Metal Dragon and Prolieator, former owners of this site. MD had just moved to Kansas City to get a place with Pro, and they were in dire straights because they needed a co-signor as well, and I was the only person within five hundred they kinda knew. I know what you're thinking. "Jared, oh wise and powerful one, you did not sign away your credit to these two hooligans. That's madness!" ....Sorry boys, but I did. I co-signed for their first apartment under bro-code laws.
That brings us to the present. Wednesday I got a summons to appear in court. I looked at the amount they were trying to get out of me and saw a $734.83 price tag for a bill in 2010. I was about to call MD and destroy his ass verbally before I calmed down and looked over the charges, and my head started to spin and fire shot out of my eyes. Acct: 04, SHAWNA NATHAN.
The dirty hobo was right, my family had fucked me over first. And this isn't a regular fucking. My whole tax return, it's gone now. I had plans to use it to get my concealed weapons license and get a better security job and have money left over to start saving for my own apartment. GONE! My whole plans for this year are now destroyed. And next year already looks shitty enough. My sister, my own flesh and blood, the women who's two little shits I helped raise fucked me over so hard it's going to take over a year to unfuck myself thanks to lawyer costs and building interest. The two people who only knew me from the Internet? They took care of their end of the bargain, paid their rent and didn't smash the place up. Two random guys I knew from here of all places took my credit more seriously than my own fucking sister.
So let this be a warning to you all. If family comes looking for money or a co-signor, tell them to go fuck themselves because the dirty hobo on 6th and elm said so.
Yes, it was a simpler time, a time when I could do as I wished and worry not of the consequences. This is where our story breaks off into three parts.
During one of my trips to visit my brother in Denver, I happened upon a hobo that was equal parts knowledge and crapped underwear. He looked at me and pointed, signaling me out from the crowd of drunken guidos and pillow biters that were my brother's bestest of friends. He told me something, something that has started to haunt my dreams. He simply said "Look all you want, let my life be a lesson. Family will screw you over before your friends even think about it." A dollar later I just walked away, thinking nothing of that Street Prophet. Oh how I wished I had listened.
Not long after this incident I was called by my sister, she had gotten into a fight with her cell phone provider and needed to switch. Problem was, she needed a co-signor to get a plan at the brand new company that had started in our home town. Viaero wireless. I, being not the great Satan that you all think that I am, Co-signed her plan for her and thought nothing of it. I should of been a smarter man.
That brings us to the third story of my generosity. You see, about three years ago I was living in Lincoln, Nebraska and freshly moved away from my parent's. One day I had gotten a phone call I had never expected. It was Metal Dragon and Prolieator, former owners of this site. MD had just moved to Kansas City to get a place with Pro, and they were in dire straights because they needed a co-signor as well, and I was the only person within five hundred they kinda knew. I know what you're thinking. "Jared, oh wise and powerful one, you did not sign away your credit to these two hooligans. That's madness!" ....Sorry boys, but I did. I co-signed for their first apartment under bro-code laws.
That brings us to the present. Wednesday I got a summons to appear in court. I looked at the amount they were trying to get out of me and saw a $734.83 price tag for a bill in 2010. I was about to call MD and destroy his ass verbally before I calmed down and looked over the charges, and my head started to spin and fire shot out of my eyes. Acct: 04, SHAWNA NATHAN.
The dirty hobo was right, my family had fucked me over first. And this isn't a regular fucking. My whole tax return, it's gone now. I had plans to use it to get my concealed weapons license and get a better security job and have money left over to start saving for my own apartment. GONE! My whole plans for this year are now destroyed. And next year already looks shitty enough. My sister, my own flesh and blood, the women who's two little shits I helped raise fucked me over so hard it's going to take over a year to unfuck myself thanks to lawyer costs and building interest. The two people who only knew me from the Internet? They took care of their end of the bargain, paid their rent and didn't smash the place up. Two random guys I knew from here of all places took my credit more seriously than my own fucking sister.
So let this be a warning to you all. If family comes looking for money or a co-signor, tell them to go fuck themselves because the dirty hobo on 6th and elm said so.