Post by Psychotic Circus on Apr 9, 2013 17:02:07 GMT -5
-The scene begins with the usual opening segment for Piers' show, all the glitz and glamour fade away to a live studio audience and that steaming pile of British shit himself, Piers Morgan sitting at a round table, his stupid smile and accent abound as he started off the show.-
Piers"Welcome to the show. Tonight, we have a grand debate between what I think is nothing but a bunch of meat heads. I'm talking of course about the world of Professional Wrestling, the...the...the...the simplest form of entertainment. My first guests tonight, Dixie Carter, owner of Impact Wrestling, and her guest, the Immortal Hulk Hogan."
-The camera pans out to reveal the owner of TNA and the Immortal One as they are already sitting at the round table with Piers, Dixie was looking on with a dumbfounded gaze as the crowd gave their pleasantries and clapped.-
"Welcome back to the show, Mr. Hogan. Dixie, welcome. Hulk, last time you were here, we had you on the show, we talked about your sex tape..."
Hulk Hogan: "Well you know, Piers Brotha..."
-Alright, we're just going to fast forward to the juicy bit, because Hogan isn't even going to let Dixie speak or put over Impact wrestling in the least bit because she's a stupid hick who shouldn't be in charge of a damn wrestling company.-
"That's all very interesting, Hulk. But let's move...let's move on here for a second and talk about the world of professional wrestling."
"Who wants to even talk about that? I have a new movie coming out this year as well, it stars..."
Dixie Carter: "I wanna talk about wrestlin'..."
-Hulk Hogan freaks out as Dixie speaks, as if he was spooked by a ghost, but the stupid egomaniac simply forgot why he was here and what he was supposed to be promoting.-
"OH JESUS!...Dixie! When did you get here?"
"Anyways. Hulk, there seems to...seems to...seems to be a new wrestling company springing up to challenge you and Dixie here for your spot as the number two wrestling company in the United States."
"...there's more than two?"
"There's a lot of them, but you should have known that. Yes, a third company has risen its ugly head up from the muck, and got a primetime cable time slot. I'm talking of course about Glory and Honor Wrestling. They, they, they premiered on FX last week, and I have to say, their opening bit was even more horrendous than America's gun control issues...and here to answer for the heinous crimes against my eyeballs, the supposed owner of this freak show, Jared Nathan. Or, as the wrestling world knows him by, Jaggeroth."
-The Psycho King came from the backstage, dressed in a somewhat professional manner. His long hair looked clean for once as it was locked behind him in a pony tail. His long business trench coat was pulled back to reveal a suit and tie. He went to sit down, not even shaking Piers hand as he sat down in the middle of the roundtable. Jaggeroth left the mask behind, leaving only his cut up face to great the camera. Hulk decided to be an even bigger pile of worthless shit by trying to be an attention hog.-
"Nice blade jobs..."
"I'll dine on your soul, Terry!"
"Gentlemen, please! Let's have some dignity here. Now I don't seem to understand, what is the appeal of professional wrestling? A bunch of men get inside a ring, and have a dance with one another, and one is declared the winner before the match even happens. Why would people watch this garbage?"
"There's always the movies, Piers. And this year I'm coming out with a real blockbuster.."
"You tell em', Terry!"
"For the love of!...Look, it's entertainment. It's not that hard of a concept to grasp here. People want to see other people fight, and if you've seen one boxing match, you've seen them all. Pro Fighty fighty persons, real pro Fighty fighty persons unlike Hogan here, are trained to fight in an entertaining manner, unlike UFC where all you see is winded out dick punching."
"Did you just say I wasn't a real professional Fighty fighty person?! I'll have you know I'm the reason professional wrestling still exists today! I body slammed the six hundred pound Giant at the pontiac silverdome in front of a sold out crowd of 97,000 screaming Hulkamaniacs!"
"Yes, and you also don't know when it's time to just hang up the boots. See, you used to have a legacy, Terry, but now you're the guy my grandmother wants to call when she has a problem with Rent-a-center. And I think that's about all your legacy means anymore. I, on the other hand, I have sold out arenas myself, all over the world. You can't even sell out a school gym in Australia anymore, and that's with the Legendary Ric Flair on the card. No one wants to see you anymore...you're boring. You're one dimensional. And you just have this ungodly ability to keep winning even though you look like chewed up, oiled down leather. It's because just like most of your entire life, your form of Pro Wrestling is FAKE!"
"Surprisingly well worded for a man who looks like he...he belongs in a federal prisoner."
"You're neither charming, nor cheeky. Quite frankly, Piers, you're actually making me miss Ryan Hughes at this point, and I f***ing despise Ryan Hughes..what was that bleep?"
"I know it's something new to you, you filthy pig, but the civilized world has this thing called censorship, and I'd appreciate it if you toned the language down."
"Censorship!? F******************************************************************************!"
"Gentlemen, back on topic here. There are now three companies out there in the world now at want to be number one..."
"Just like my new movie! And it will be number one at the box office on July 4th.."
"Terry, please..."
"Look, Piers. It's real simple here, GHW is going to win. This is war, and I know war very well. We're finally offering the adult version of this sport to the masses, the one real fans have been clamoring for since the day WWE turned PG, and all kid friendly because they finally became self aware. And that's who I'm catering to, the real fans. The ones who want wrestling...not thirty minute, non-stop segments about s*** that doesn't even matter, nor make a match that more exciting. My men, my employees, they're all mentally unstable and they love to fight, they're going to earn every dollar we earn as a company. It's just that simple of a business model."
"Impact is the alternative everyone has been asking for! Wrestling matters at Impact!"
"And the very show you decided to pull that costly, costly, but painfully simple ad out on television was the very night you only had twenty minutes of actual wrestling. Where'd the wrestling go? Wasn't it more important that showing some mentally crippled midcarder seeing another midcarder take a dump on live television?"
"Well, you're one to talk! This...this...this angle where your child, your..your dead child gets dug up, and your wife's grave is pissed on...this is disgusting! This is the angle you decide to premier on the very first segment of being on cable television..."
-The Psycho King looked confused for a few seconds, his nicked up eye brows lifted as he pondered over one word.-
"Angle?"
"Impact would never do anything like that, Brotha'! We've got the audience and the best fans in the world, and that's a fact, Jack. We've got class..."
-Dixie Carter looked like she was finally going to have that long awaited orgasm as Hulk Hogan had finally mentioned TNA at a major interview.-
"This coming from the man who keeps trying to push his own daughter to strut her stuff on television! And, from what I've heard Daddy likes the look of his own flesh and blood. THAT!...is disgusting..."
"Jared, look. Your own program is pushing a storyline, one where you, this big satanist who goes around ripping people's flesh off, is going to go up against another man, your former student, and a women. Now, isn't that a little vulgar? You and this other man, Millson I think his name is, are going to have some brutal match where you two are going to fight a women for a championship belt all because she took your dead child hostage and pee'd on your wife's grave. And don't go about telling me this is all real, because your wife is backstage trying to get two of our interns to go down on one another...how do you explain all of this? How is any of this reasonably appropriate for children to watch?"
-Jaggeroth's head turned very slowly with a crack of his neck, one eyebrow was standing up high along with one side of his mouth, the other eye was twitching as it stared down Piers.-
"I'm not in the business of appeasing children. I don't care what you and your fragile sensibilities thinks is right. I'm a monster, a terrible man. I got rich by body slamming men through tables and setting others on fire. I started brewing a dark bourbon that would make you go blind, and I sell it all over this great nation. All this, and I've beaten a crippling meth addiction. Where do you see children friendly written anywhere here? I don't care what your children see. If you don't want them to watch it, and figure out that the world is not this shinny, safe place where everyone doesn't get along, then you turn the channel and keep shielding their eyes from the truth. The truth being that your little sh**s are not special, beautiful flowers who all sing and dance together and act like we're all going to be important. Piers, you're not important, this show is not important. You're that child who was shielded from the real world by your nose in the air parents, sent to the best private schools and shielded even further from there, then you become popular, SOMEHOW, and now you host a show where you just go around and take a massive sh** on on people who you disagree with and try sounding smart all the time because you were the schoolyard bully at a pompous boarding school. Quite frankly, I think you should be deported back to England, cause every last damn British person I've ever met was a pompous f***! Now you sit here, trying to tell me, a millionaire at the age of twenty five, with two healthy corporations under his belt, trying to tell me how I should do business because you don't agree with it cause it's not family friendly. I could care less what your opinion is because it's a moot point by now, just like your gun control speech. No one cares anymore. The media, AKA: that thing you pretend to be, has even lost interest. Congressmen don't care, they didn't care to begin with because they know that when the s*** is going to hit the fan, it's going to shit the fan and nothing will stop it, they just act like they care so it seems like they do anything important. And if those idiots can figure something that complicated out, why can't you grasp that some people love to watch unmitigated violence on their boob tubes?"
"I...I...I...I think that.."
"Your stuttering is starting to get on my nerves a bit here..."
"I think you're just an idiot who's selling to more idiots."
"...I've never had an assault charge stick, Piers."
"Now listen here, BrothA'. I'm going to go out on a limb here and break your kayfabe..."
"Oh, please ruin wrestling's image some more, Terry. You're really helping the product out by opening up your stupid mouth..."
"You haven't done a damn thing for wrestling. You're doing nothing but offering up sick forms of minimal entertainment. No one watches your product only clings with those sickos who enjoy seeing people bleed. You don't have the skill, nor the talent to compete with TNA..."
"Oh god! YES! Say it again, you dirty, dirty boy you..."
"You're a talking vagina right now, and vaginas are only good for a pounding. Your product is nonsensical booking, unoriginal garbage that features just as much low brow humor and violent antics as mine, and another thing...we've already beaten you in the ratings. We scored a 2.6, twice as much as your best, and creepily close to WWE's current ratings. The people have spoken...I am your new pro wrestling king..."
"I still think you're an imbecile who needs to be locked up. My children shouldn't be subjected to this...."
"We've already talked about this, you Pudding Plopper! If you don't like it! Turn the channel! Don't ruin the fun for everyone else!"
"I...I...I still think you're wrong. It's your responsibility to put out quality broadcasting. My children come first..."
"F*** YOUR CHILDREN! F*** YOUR SHOW! I'm not going to sit here and explain myself over and over again. I don't care if you hate the show, I don't care what your opinion is! I could care less because you're not a fan, and I'm not going to hire reality t.v failures to come in and bring in a new audience and lose money because they don't like the show without the reality failure beating up the Fighty fighty persons...This is pro wrestling at its finest, and I've already proved this point..."
"I..I...I can't respect that opinion. It's wrong, utter rubbish."
-The eyes of the Psycho King fly open, and one of them was starting to turn blood shot as the knumbskulls went off about GHW, saying it was nothing and a fluke win in the ratings, talking about his talent and bad mouthing the ones he thought had a future. This all ended as he reached back behind his neck and pulled the mask over his face.-
"NO SURVIVORS!"
-Amanda Nathan came running through the crowd and jumped over the round table, spearing Dixie Carter to the ground and started beating her silly. Piers was taken by the throat and lifted up by Jaggeroth with a howl of satisfaction at his catch. Hulk Hogan came and gave The Demon of Elkhorn Valley a swift blow over the back, that Jag no-sold like a pro before he sent Piers flying through his own, large television monitor with a sharp crackle. Jaggeroth turned around and made a fist, but was suddenly stopped with a pointed finger from the Hulkster.-
"YOU!"
-This nonsense was all stopped at once as the Horde made an appearance and surrounded the Hulkster, how about crapped his pants before the Raging Psychopath grabbed Hulk's wrist and with one fluid motion had the aging "legend" over his back.-
"This is GHW...and no one f**** with us!"
-The pile of leather that was Hulk Hogan was suddenly drilled through the announce table with the Pestilential Fury of the BileDriver! The table cracked under the festering corpse that was the Hulkster as the Hordesmen ran into the crowd to disperse them, making the scene even more chaotic as they ran over some of the lighting systems, causing the area to break out in crackles of sparks all over the place. Henry Cooper got behind the camera and started to pull it over to Jaggeroth as he stood up straight and corrected his tie. Amanda came up with a leg wrapped over her Lover's waist and a mouth full of blood.-
"TNA, you will not be missed. Now, if all of you in the viewing audience will excuse me, I'm going to go F*** my wife in the *** and leave the drippings all over Piers' office. Cause that's just how we do things in GHW."
-Amanda giggled as she was turned around and her ass tapped, making her skip away from the camera as Jaggeroth puts his hands down in his pockets and follows her to the back.-
"Gonna' mess dat' A** up..."
EOT
Piers"Welcome to the show. Tonight, we have a grand debate between what I think is nothing but a bunch of meat heads. I'm talking of course about the world of Professional Wrestling, the...the...the...the simplest form of entertainment. My first guests tonight, Dixie Carter, owner of Impact Wrestling, and her guest, the Immortal Hulk Hogan."
-The camera pans out to reveal the owner of TNA and the Immortal One as they are already sitting at the round table with Piers, Dixie was looking on with a dumbfounded gaze as the crowd gave their pleasantries and clapped.-
"Welcome back to the show, Mr. Hogan. Dixie, welcome. Hulk, last time you were here, we had you on the show, we talked about your sex tape..."
Hulk Hogan: "Well you know, Piers Brotha..."
-Alright, we're just going to fast forward to the juicy bit, because Hogan isn't even going to let Dixie speak or put over Impact wrestling in the least bit because she's a stupid hick who shouldn't be in charge of a damn wrestling company.-
"That's all very interesting, Hulk. But let's move...let's move on here for a second and talk about the world of professional wrestling."
"Who wants to even talk about that? I have a new movie coming out this year as well, it stars..."
Dixie Carter: "I wanna talk about wrestlin'..."
-Hulk Hogan freaks out as Dixie speaks, as if he was spooked by a ghost, but the stupid egomaniac simply forgot why he was here and what he was supposed to be promoting.-
"OH JESUS!...Dixie! When did you get here?"
"Anyways. Hulk, there seems to...seems to...seems to be a new wrestling company springing up to challenge you and Dixie here for your spot as the number two wrestling company in the United States."
"...there's more than two?"
"There's a lot of them, but you should have known that. Yes, a third company has risen its ugly head up from the muck, and got a primetime cable time slot. I'm talking of course about Glory and Honor Wrestling. They, they, they premiered on FX last week, and I have to say, their opening bit was even more horrendous than America's gun control issues...and here to answer for the heinous crimes against my eyeballs, the supposed owner of this freak show, Jared Nathan. Or, as the wrestling world knows him by, Jaggeroth."
-The Psycho King came from the backstage, dressed in a somewhat professional manner. His long hair looked clean for once as it was locked behind him in a pony tail. His long business trench coat was pulled back to reveal a suit and tie. He went to sit down, not even shaking Piers hand as he sat down in the middle of the roundtable. Jaggeroth left the mask behind, leaving only his cut up face to great the camera. Hulk decided to be an even bigger pile of worthless shit by trying to be an attention hog.-
"Nice blade jobs..."
"I'll dine on your soul, Terry!"
"Gentlemen, please! Let's have some dignity here. Now I don't seem to understand, what is the appeal of professional wrestling? A bunch of men get inside a ring, and have a dance with one another, and one is declared the winner before the match even happens. Why would people watch this garbage?"
"There's always the movies, Piers. And this year I'm coming out with a real blockbuster.."
"You tell em', Terry!"
"For the love of!...Look, it's entertainment. It's not that hard of a concept to grasp here. People want to see other people fight, and if you've seen one boxing match, you've seen them all. Pro Fighty fighty persons, real pro Fighty fighty persons unlike Hogan here, are trained to fight in an entertaining manner, unlike UFC where all you see is winded out dick punching."
"Did you just say I wasn't a real professional Fighty fighty person?! I'll have you know I'm the reason professional wrestling still exists today! I body slammed the six hundred pound Giant at the pontiac silverdome in front of a sold out crowd of 97,000 screaming Hulkamaniacs!"
"Yes, and you also don't know when it's time to just hang up the boots. See, you used to have a legacy, Terry, but now you're the guy my grandmother wants to call when she has a problem with Rent-a-center. And I think that's about all your legacy means anymore. I, on the other hand, I have sold out arenas myself, all over the world. You can't even sell out a school gym in Australia anymore, and that's with the Legendary Ric Flair on the card. No one wants to see you anymore...you're boring. You're one dimensional. And you just have this ungodly ability to keep winning even though you look like chewed up, oiled down leather. It's because just like most of your entire life, your form of Pro Wrestling is FAKE!"
"Surprisingly well worded for a man who looks like he...he belongs in a federal prisoner."
"You're neither charming, nor cheeky. Quite frankly, Piers, you're actually making me miss Ryan Hughes at this point, and I f***ing despise Ryan Hughes..what was that bleep?"
"I know it's something new to you, you filthy pig, but the civilized world has this thing called censorship, and I'd appreciate it if you toned the language down."
"Censorship!? F******************************************************************************!"
"Gentlemen, back on topic here. There are now three companies out there in the world now at want to be number one..."
"Just like my new movie! And it will be number one at the box office on July 4th.."
"Terry, please..."
"Look, Piers. It's real simple here, GHW is going to win. This is war, and I know war very well. We're finally offering the adult version of this sport to the masses, the one real fans have been clamoring for since the day WWE turned PG, and all kid friendly because they finally became self aware. And that's who I'm catering to, the real fans. The ones who want wrestling...not thirty minute, non-stop segments about s*** that doesn't even matter, nor make a match that more exciting. My men, my employees, they're all mentally unstable and they love to fight, they're going to earn every dollar we earn as a company. It's just that simple of a business model."
"Impact is the alternative everyone has been asking for! Wrestling matters at Impact!"
"And the very show you decided to pull that costly, costly, but painfully simple ad out on television was the very night you only had twenty minutes of actual wrestling. Where'd the wrestling go? Wasn't it more important that showing some mentally crippled midcarder seeing another midcarder take a dump on live television?"
"Well, you're one to talk! This...this...this angle where your child, your..your dead child gets dug up, and your wife's grave is pissed on...this is disgusting! This is the angle you decide to premier on the very first segment of being on cable television..."
-The Psycho King looked confused for a few seconds, his nicked up eye brows lifted as he pondered over one word.-
"Angle?"
"Impact would never do anything like that, Brotha'! We've got the audience and the best fans in the world, and that's a fact, Jack. We've got class..."
-Dixie Carter looked like she was finally going to have that long awaited orgasm as Hulk Hogan had finally mentioned TNA at a major interview.-
"This coming from the man who keeps trying to push his own daughter to strut her stuff on television! And, from what I've heard Daddy likes the look of his own flesh and blood. THAT!...is disgusting..."
"Jared, look. Your own program is pushing a storyline, one where you, this big satanist who goes around ripping people's flesh off, is going to go up against another man, your former student, and a women. Now, isn't that a little vulgar? You and this other man, Millson I think his name is, are going to have some brutal match where you two are going to fight a women for a championship belt all because she took your dead child hostage and pee'd on your wife's grave. And don't go about telling me this is all real, because your wife is backstage trying to get two of our interns to go down on one another...how do you explain all of this? How is any of this reasonably appropriate for children to watch?"
-Jaggeroth's head turned very slowly with a crack of his neck, one eyebrow was standing up high along with one side of his mouth, the other eye was twitching as it stared down Piers.-
"I'm not in the business of appeasing children. I don't care what you and your fragile sensibilities thinks is right. I'm a monster, a terrible man. I got rich by body slamming men through tables and setting others on fire. I started brewing a dark bourbon that would make you go blind, and I sell it all over this great nation. All this, and I've beaten a crippling meth addiction. Where do you see children friendly written anywhere here? I don't care what your children see. If you don't want them to watch it, and figure out that the world is not this shinny, safe place where everyone doesn't get along, then you turn the channel and keep shielding their eyes from the truth. The truth being that your little sh**s are not special, beautiful flowers who all sing and dance together and act like we're all going to be important. Piers, you're not important, this show is not important. You're that child who was shielded from the real world by your nose in the air parents, sent to the best private schools and shielded even further from there, then you become popular, SOMEHOW, and now you host a show where you just go around and take a massive sh** on on people who you disagree with and try sounding smart all the time because you were the schoolyard bully at a pompous boarding school. Quite frankly, I think you should be deported back to England, cause every last damn British person I've ever met was a pompous f***! Now you sit here, trying to tell me, a millionaire at the age of twenty five, with two healthy corporations under his belt, trying to tell me how I should do business because you don't agree with it cause it's not family friendly. I could care less what your opinion is because it's a moot point by now, just like your gun control speech. No one cares anymore. The media, AKA: that thing you pretend to be, has even lost interest. Congressmen don't care, they didn't care to begin with because they know that when the s*** is going to hit the fan, it's going to shit the fan and nothing will stop it, they just act like they care so it seems like they do anything important. And if those idiots can figure something that complicated out, why can't you grasp that some people love to watch unmitigated violence on their boob tubes?"
"I...I...I...I think that.."
"Your stuttering is starting to get on my nerves a bit here..."
"I think you're just an idiot who's selling to more idiots."
"...I've never had an assault charge stick, Piers."
"Now listen here, BrothA'. I'm going to go out on a limb here and break your kayfabe..."
"Oh, please ruin wrestling's image some more, Terry. You're really helping the product out by opening up your stupid mouth..."
"You haven't done a damn thing for wrestling. You're doing nothing but offering up sick forms of minimal entertainment. No one watches your product only clings with those sickos who enjoy seeing people bleed. You don't have the skill, nor the talent to compete with TNA..."
"Oh god! YES! Say it again, you dirty, dirty boy you..."
"You're a talking vagina right now, and vaginas are only good for a pounding. Your product is nonsensical booking, unoriginal garbage that features just as much low brow humor and violent antics as mine, and another thing...we've already beaten you in the ratings. We scored a 2.6, twice as much as your best, and creepily close to WWE's current ratings. The people have spoken...I am your new pro wrestling king..."
"I still think you're an imbecile who needs to be locked up. My children shouldn't be subjected to this...."
"We've already talked about this, you Pudding Plopper! If you don't like it! Turn the channel! Don't ruin the fun for everyone else!"
"I...I...I still think you're wrong. It's your responsibility to put out quality broadcasting. My children come first..."
"F*** YOUR CHILDREN! F*** YOUR SHOW! I'm not going to sit here and explain myself over and over again. I don't care if you hate the show, I don't care what your opinion is! I could care less because you're not a fan, and I'm not going to hire reality t.v failures to come in and bring in a new audience and lose money because they don't like the show without the reality failure beating up the Fighty fighty persons...This is pro wrestling at its finest, and I've already proved this point..."
"I..I...I can't respect that opinion. It's wrong, utter rubbish."
-The eyes of the Psycho King fly open, and one of them was starting to turn blood shot as the knumbskulls went off about GHW, saying it was nothing and a fluke win in the ratings, talking about his talent and bad mouthing the ones he thought had a future. This all ended as he reached back behind his neck and pulled the mask over his face.-
"NO SURVIVORS!"
-Amanda Nathan came running through the crowd and jumped over the round table, spearing Dixie Carter to the ground and started beating her silly. Piers was taken by the throat and lifted up by Jaggeroth with a howl of satisfaction at his catch. Hulk Hogan came and gave The Demon of Elkhorn Valley a swift blow over the back, that Jag no-sold like a pro before he sent Piers flying through his own, large television monitor with a sharp crackle. Jaggeroth turned around and made a fist, but was suddenly stopped with a pointed finger from the Hulkster.-
"YOU!"
-This nonsense was all stopped at once as the Horde made an appearance and surrounded the Hulkster, how about crapped his pants before the Raging Psychopath grabbed Hulk's wrist and with one fluid motion had the aging "legend" over his back.-
"This is GHW...and no one f**** with us!"
-The pile of leather that was Hulk Hogan was suddenly drilled through the announce table with the Pestilential Fury of the BileDriver! The table cracked under the festering corpse that was the Hulkster as the Hordesmen ran into the crowd to disperse them, making the scene even more chaotic as they ran over some of the lighting systems, causing the area to break out in crackles of sparks all over the place. Henry Cooper got behind the camera and started to pull it over to Jaggeroth as he stood up straight and corrected his tie. Amanda came up with a leg wrapped over her Lover's waist and a mouth full of blood.-
"TNA, you will not be missed. Now, if all of you in the viewing audience will excuse me, I'm going to go F*** my wife in the *** and leave the drippings all over Piers' office. Cause that's just how we do things in GHW."
-Amanda giggled as she was turned around and her ass tapped, making her skip away from the camera as Jaggeroth puts his hands down in his pockets and follows her to the back.-
"Gonna' mess dat' A** up..."
EOT
