Post by Luther on Feb 22, 2009 1:56:31 GMT -5
I awoke suddenly.
My back hurt for some unknown reason.
$20 dollars is sitting on my chest.
I don't know where I am, but there's a beautiful broad laying next to me half naked.
Why is my shower running?
It's 6:30 in the morning.
Time for my daily routine. A 13 egg protein shake. Followed by a cigarette and the editorial of the newspaper.
"Hey babe."
Who is this woman I asked myself. Damn she has huge breasts.
"Who are you?" I asked her.
"Don't you remember the face of your own girlfriend?"
Oh crap, I remember now.
Sambuca is not my friend, it's my sin.
I realise I have a match tonight. Last Man Standing.
Doctors, Coaches and Trainers on call. That doesn't mean anything.
I roll towards my bedside table and reach for my carton. 2 left, b*tch stole my ciggs.
The broad that was previously next to me is now standing infront of me with a Zippo to my face.
"Need a light?" She says in a cute, slightly squeaky voice. I nod and she lights me up.
"What did we get up to last night?" I ask her, hoping for an answer that doesn't involve anything I might regret.
"Oh, Sergei sent us a special invite to a private party."
"Private?" I asked while raising my eyebrow a little.
"Yeah, you, me a couple of drinks, a few of my friends..."
F*ck, he set up a distraction. That sly dog.
"Where'd Sergei get to after this 'private party'?"
"What? Sergei... he wasn't there.. he had a meeting."
By this time I was in the kitchen area of my apartment and dressed.
"So you're saying, that I got dragged along to a private party with a cute bimbo, engaged in intercourse with several of your 'friends', drank a full bottle of Sambuca and got drugged so I wouldn't remember it?"
The broad was now scratching the side of her head and pointing at me. I hate when people do that.
"You took the drugs yourself... no-one forced you."
Great, now she's saying I'm a junkie. Where does Sergei find these bimbos, Philly?
"Get out of my apartment you cheap hooker."
"But, you invited me!"
"OUT!" I slam my fist on the chopping board on the bench.
The b*tch is still in her underwear, black and lacy.
"Luth, I thought we had-"
"You thought wrong, now take the 20 and get out! Before I kick you out. And take your drugs with you!"
Damn, now she's crying. F*cking hookers.
"Okay, here's 500, go buy yourself something nice." I say. Hookers with Hooters-worthy breasts have warm hugs.
"I'll call." She says, as she opens the door to leave.
"I won't answer..."
I slammed the door and went to sit on my couch.
After a while I picked up my phone and punched in 01.
"Yes, room service. I'd like a bottle of your strongest Vodka, a massage and some fluffy pillows!"
EOT
My back hurt for some unknown reason.
$20 dollars is sitting on my chest.
I don't know where I am, but there's a beautiful broad laying next to me half naked.
Why is my shower running?
It's 6:30 in the morning.
Time for my daily routine. A 13 egg protein shake. Followed by a cigarette and the editorial of the newspaper.
"Hey babe."
Who is this woman I asked myself. Damn she has huge breasts.
"Who are you?" I asked her.
"Don't you remember the face of your own girlfriend?"
Oh crap, I remember now.
Sambuca is not my friend, it's my sin.
I realise I have a match tonight. Last Man Standing.
Doctors, Coaches and Trainers on call. That doesn't mean anything.
I roll towards my bedside table and reach for my carton. 2 left, b*tch stole my ciggs.
The broad that was previously next to me is now standing infront of me with a Zippo to my face.
"Need a light?" She says in a cute, slightly squeaky voice. I nod and she lights me up.
"What did we get up to last night?" I ask her, hoping for an answer that doesn't involve anything I might regret.
"Oh, Sergei sent us a special invite to a private party."
"Private?" I asked while raising my eyebrow a little.
"Yeah, you, me a couple of drinks, a few of my friends..."
F*ck, he set up a distraction. That sly dog.
"Where'd Sergei get to after this 'private party'?"
"What? Sergei... he wasn't there.. he had a meeting."
By this time I was in the kitchen area of my apartment and dressed.
"So you're saying, that I got dragged along to a private party with a cute bimbo, engaged in intercourse with several of your 'friends', drank a full bottle of Sambuca and got drugged so I wouldn't remember it?"
The broad was now scratching the side of her head and pointing at me. I hate when people do that.
"You took the drugs yourself... no-one forced you."
Great, now she's saying I'm a junkie. Where does Sergei find these bimbos, Philly?
"Get out of my apartment you cheap hooker."
"But, you invited me!"
"OUT!" I slam my fist on the chopping board on the bench.
The b*tch is still in her underwear, black and lacy.
"Luth, I thought we had-"
"You thought wrong, now take the 20 and get out! Before I kick you out. And take your drugs with you!"
Damn, now she's crying. F*cking hookers.
"Okay, here's 500, go buy yourself something nice." I say. Hookers with Hooters-worthy breasts have warm hugs.
"I'll call." She says, as she opens the door to leave.
"I won't answer..."
I slammed the door and went to sit on my couch.
After a while I picked up my phone and punched in 01.
"Yes, room service. I'd like a bottle of your strongest Vodka, a massage and some fluffy pillows!"
EOT
