Post by harold the pretzel man on Feb 10, 2008 14:06:50 GMT -5
Harold goes his usual Sunday service and quite apparently has something on his mind. He joins the crowd entering the church, doing the cross thing with the holy water as is customary, then he files into one of rows of pews. He sits down and relaxes a bit waiting for the sermon to begin.
Please stand
The group of churchgoers shuffle to their feet and the sermon begins.
We are here today to thank the lod GOOOOD for everything and his son JESUS for giving his life for our sins...
The minster runs on for what feels like an eternity as Harold slowly lulls into a bout of self pity. He thinks of how badly he had to beat up Saton in his battle with the man the previous week and keeps feeling bad that he, two weeks into his contract with GHW, has already broken the word he gave the lord that he wouldn't willfully hurt anyone for personal gain. He also feels growing shame for the pride he has shown all week! Bragging out loud about how badly he would beat RJ Wild and Saton on Friday...
Now, please kneel so that we may pray together...
Harold snaps out of it long enough to kneel to the bench in front of him and fold his hands in prayer. He begins to pray to the lord for forgiveness for his pride and having broke "his pact" not to use excessive violence against his opponent. Before he can get too far, the minister calls them to their feet again.
now rise, and turn to page 126 in your hymn booklet...
Harold does as the minister asks and continues to the end of the long Catholic mass. After the mass, many head to a line to wait to make confession. Harold joins the line. After a long wait he finally has the opportunity to sit in the confession booth.
Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
Well, tell me of your sins, my son.
Many years ago... I promised the lord that I would not injure another man in the drive for personal gain. Last Monday, I nearly beat a man stupid.
Well, my son...
Hold on father, I'm not done. After that, I felt a pride swell up inside me. I told the man I could beat him and his entire click at the next show...
Ok, Harold, I saw what you did to Saton. And I believe that was just a matter of the one who is without sin casting the first stone, but you have descended yourself into a battle with many demons, literal, and figuarative! The lord asks you not to repent in this case, only to prevail! You must fight these demons and return victorious! This is your fate, son! You, Harold have apparently been chosen as a soldier in God's army. You will battle the Heretics in this "wrestling" league and come out on top. But be careful how you ally yourself, because there are a lot of people there who would put a knife in your back, son. Do not worry about your silly pact, God expects more of you now. God wants His glory known in the GHW! Win the ladder tournament and defeat JH777 at Countdown to Destruction for the Lieutenant Title!
So you say it is god's will for me to hurt people? That makes no sense to me, father...
No, son. You are complicating things. Show your faith and show God's strength. There is a reason you are winning the way you are. And your wins are the will of God, no matter what extent you have to go to get them. Do not lose faith, son. The lord needs a new power to cleanse GHW. Go forth and train. Grab gold and bring it to me!
That's it. I'm outta here. You're beginning to creep me out...
Harold blows out of the confession booth and proceeds out of the church, possibly to contemplate what the minister was getting at.
EOT
Please stand
The group of churchgoers shuffle to their feet and the sermon begins.
We are here today to thank the lod GOOOOD for everything and his son JESUS for giving his life for our sins...
The minster runs on for what feels like an eternity as Harold slowly lulls into a bout of self pity. He thinks of how badly he had to beat up Saton in his battle with the man the previous week and keeps feeling bad that he, two weeks into his contract with GHW, has already broken the word he gave the lord that he wouldn't willfully hurt anyone for personal gain. He also feels growing shame for the pride he has shown all week! Bragging out loud about how badly he would beat RJ Wild and Saton on Friday...
Now, please kneel so that we may pray together...
Harold snaps out of it long enough to kneel to the bench in front of him and fold his hands in prayer. He begins to pray to the lord for forgiveness for his pride and having broke "his pact" not to use excessive violence against his opponent. Before he can get too far, the minister calls them to their feet again.
now rise, and turn to page 126 in your hymn booklet...
Harold does as the minister asks and continues to the end of the long Catholic mass. After the mass, many head to a line to wait to make confession. Harold joins the line. After a long wait he finally has the opportunity to sit in the confession booth.
Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
Well, tell me of your sins, my son.
Many years ago... I promised the lord that I would not injure another man in the drive for personal gain. Last Monday, I nearly beat a man stupid.
Well, my son...
Hold on father, I'm not done. After that, I felt a pride swell up inside me. I told the man I could beat him and his entire click at the next show...
Ok, Harold, I saw what you did to Saton. And I believe that was just a matter of the one who is without sin casting the first stone, but you have descended yourself into a battle with many demons, literal, and figuarative! The lord asks you not to repent in this case, only to prevail! You must fight these demons and return victorious! This is your fate, son! You, Harold have apparently been chosen as a soldier in God's army. You will battle the Heretics in this "wrestling" league and come out on top. But be careful how you ally yourself, because there are a lot of people there who would put a knife in your back, son. Do not worry about your silly pact, God expects more of you now. God wants His glory known in the GHW! Win the ladder tournament and defeat JH777 at Countdown to Destruction for the Lieutenant Title!
So you say it is god's will for me to hurt people? That makes no sense to me, father...
No, son. You are complicating things. Show your faith and show God's strength. There is a reason you are winning the way you are. And your wins are the will of God, no matter what extent you have to go to get them. Do not lose faith, son. The lord needs a new power to cleanse GHW. Go forth and train. Grab gold and bring it to me!
That's it. I'm outta here. You're beginning to creep me out...
Harold blows out of the confession booth and proceeds out of the church, possibly to contemplate what the minister was getting at.
EOT
