Post by Wyziner on Jun 23, 2011 0:22:30 GMT -5
The viewing screens of a million spectators cut from commercial, and onto the smiling, freckled face of Charlie Coors.
Hello everyone, this is Charlie Coors your on sight GHW correspondent, and I'm here with second generation superstar Bryan Wyziner. Now Bryan you're scheduled to face off against TNT's own Blake Valediction; what are your thoughts on being thrown into a cross-brand match tonight, with literally a moments notice.
Taking the mic, Bryan speaks.
Well, let me tell you...I feel like taking this here microphone and shoving it up somebody's poop-shoot. Preferably somebody with curly orange hair, a tacky shirt, and a cheap pair of sun-glasses.
Taking that as a hint to make himself scarce, Coors gets the hell out of Dodge. Bryan points at the camera man.
You, stay. Soooo let me get this straight Valediction; you're just supposed to mosey on in here from Sweet Jesus Nowhere after a year, pull a bag of rainbows and sunshine out of your ass, and SAVE US ALL from the mundane and mediocre....is that about right?
He shakes his head in disappointment.
Well, I hate to be the one to break this to you, the bearer of bad-news and all that, but the position of New Age Savior has been filled. You see, about a month ago a strapping young lad; who is about Six-Feet-Four, Two Hundred-Fifty pounds of pure epic, arrived in Boston, and he's been electrifying and mesmerizing the masses ever since. Allow me to introduce myself, I'm Bryan Wyziner! Second generation superstar, future hall of famer, wrestling wizard extraordinaire, and the personal lord and savior of all these sheep! And at only Twenty-One years of age, you my friend are a relic from a bygone age; a two-bit performer who is undoubtedly stuck in what GHW used to be, a God-damn heritic.
He takes a long measured breath, and soaks in a chorus of boos so loud, that they can be heard even from his outlandish post at the very back of the arena.
Makes no difference if you're Black, White, Latino, fat, ugly, bald, stupid, Muslim, Christian, man, women, or transgender, I'm Bryan Wyziner a Messiah that we all can believe in...I'll give you a moment, feel free to bow down and worship.
He pauses, and the spectators in the arena manage to muster a response that is even louder then the last.
Let me make something CRYSTAL FUCKING CLEAR, tonight Valediction, when you step into the ring with me and you look me in eye, you're going to be looking into the face of the future, a swirling vortex of uncertainty, that's lying just beyond the wild blue yonder; what you see will frighten you. This transcendental facade your putting on, all that bullshit about being above money and admiration, it's all gonna melt away as you cower in fear! Then after you've seen the ramification of the shit-storm that Smarky is throwing you into, I'm going to beat you within an inch of your life, stomp your face into the ground, rip off your head, shit down your throat, put your head back on sideways, and make you tap!
He pauses momentarily, allowing the purple vein in his forehead to defront, and then continues.
In short, tonight, for twenty minutes of your life, you're gonna be my bitch, I suggest you bring some KY Jelly.
EOT
OoC: Welcome back Dakota.
