Post by Nicholas Carson on Mar 2, 2012 23:44:22 GMT -5
Mid way through the program the tune "Smiling Like a Killer" by Motorhead blasts through the venue, bringing the fans to their feet with intense jeering.
The man to whom the music heralds is none other than Nicholas Carson, who slowly emerges from the back decked out in a nice suit for a change, but also sporting bandages and fresh stitching from the effects of warfare in the Tower of London match. Despite his loss at Dawn of Destruction, Nicky appears calm, cool and collected as he takes a slow pace down the ramp and into the ring, where he is handed a mic upon entering. The Mauler walks in a circle, surveying the booing masses while maintaining his calm demeanor, which is such a stark contrast to his usual outrageousness. Finally, he comes to a stop, one hand in his pocket as if casually talking among friends.
"Almost one year ago I got a phone call from a good buddy of mine by the name of Ryan Hughes. NeXus 5 was coming up and he was looking for some people to play in Hell's Playground, and who better to recruit than me, right? He didn't come right out and say it, but in reality all he was asking for was me to show up, raise a little hell, smash people with a few weapons, then collect a pay check and leave. I knew what he wanted and, well, it was damn good money for basically a cameo appearance so I took him up on it. I did the gig, got paid, then went home and blew it on hookers and drugs. But in the days and weeks immediately following NeXus 5 something happened. For reasons I still don't understand, I took a long look at my career, and in some ways legacy I had left behind, and decided it was unacceptable."
The fans' jeering had subsided at last. For once the Lord of Lunacy was speaking from the heart, a thing they previously thought impossible, and it appealed to them.
"I didn't want the last image of me in GHW to be that ridiculously out of control chlorine spot and unceremonious exit from NeXus 5. I searched my soul, yes despite popular belief I do actually have a soul, and came to a realization. I am the KING of the DEATHMATCH! When someone in this industry says the word 'deathmatch' it is my face and my name that comes up above all others. But there was a problem. Possession is 9/10 of the law, and I didn't have the one item that would cement my place in history, the King of the Deathmatch championship belt. So I set out to claim it and, after devouring many foes, it came down to me and a man who had no business being in that environment, the greedy ass bitch-boy Dominik Santiago. But he won the battle that day."
In a rare scene the fans boo someone other than Carson, which brings a smile to his ugly face.
"Yet something happened in the fallout from that defeat. I looked at the big picture and realized that Dominik and Hayden were battling over who could hold all the titles at the same time. They were driven by selfish glory seeking and ultimately were holding down the young guys. It was bad for this industry, and bad for business in general. But who was going to stop them? Certainly not management. I was the ONLY one who had what it took to shatter their monopoly of the titles, and to claim the crowning jewel of my career, the KotDM title. So there it was, my mission, my last act of atrocity to solidify my legacy, to climb Mount Olympus and hurl Hayden's skinny little ass off it. And to destroy Dominik and his Legion. And I did EXACTLY as I had set out to do."
The crowd cheers again, kicking up a "THANK-YOU-NICKY" chant as Carson takes a pause to reflect.
"By the way, to the young guys in the back you're FUCKING WELCOME, even though you never bothered to thank me for that. In going about my mission though, the battles took their toll on this old war frame of mine. I'm not immortal. I'm a human fucking being. Injuries mounted but I fought through them. But I knew the time would come soon, very soon, for the torch to be handed off to someone else. A man worthy enough to sit atop Mount Deathmatch and reign with a iron scepter, or steel chair, either one. A few stepped up, good men and women, but I put them down. In the end, though, the one to take the torch from me was the same man who is a close friend of mine outside of this business. Dustin Delta."
The crowd pops loudly when Alice's name is uttered proudly by the Maniac Mauler, and he claps approvingly to share in their appreciation of the Deathmatch Majesty.
"In one single night at Dawn of Destruction, in a structure dreamed up by someone demented with entirely too much time on their hands, Dustin completed a metamorphosis, evolved, shattered the proverbial glass ceiling and took the reigns of the realm of ultra violence. The minute that innovative elbow connected, the torch was passed, and I would not have had it any other way. On that token, also, Delta I want to thank you. Thank you for giving me a proper exit, a spectacular send off. I went out in a blaze of glory like I always fancied myself doing, and it was only fitting that it came down to you and me."
A cowed silence falls over the audience. Was this leading down a path they did not really want? Was this man, the single most hated and reviled creature in wrestling history, the man they loved to absolutely hate, uttering words of retirement?
"In case you're still clueless to the point of this, I am done. I'm retiring, effective right now. I have nothing else to give. I have achieved all that I have wanted. And my body is all fucked up, especially from that mile high plunge at Dawn of Destruction. Seriously guys, what else can I do? Look at what I've done. I'm a former world champion, former KotDM champion, H-Games finalist, and competed in NeXus 5. I've been part of some of the most memorable and brutal memories of this sport. My list of victims speaks for itself. Hayden HardKore... beat him every time I stepped into the ring with him. Dominik Santiago... kicked his ass too. Desperado... beat that ass also. NVX, the man who ended Jake Diamond's career... yep, beat him. Millson? Jack Tracks? Jerry Nate? Shawn Dreamer? Kahlan? Demon? TPK and all 47 of his different personalities? Dave Carter? I beat them, the list goes on and on, yadda yadda you get the drift. And even when I didn't win the battles, I always won the war. Vladimir Strife, I broke him physically, killed him literally, and mind fucked him to the point he was easy pickings for Kingbear to end the streak. Kamil Fathi, I put that camel nigger through so much pain in the one and only match we ever had, that he was forced to retire. He lasted exactly one more match after our epic Arabian Deathmatch, but the injures I gave him put him out of commission and he hasn't competed since. And because of these things, and the events of DoD, I can walk away proudly with my head held high. To you the fans I want to thank you, even though you spent most of the time booing the shit out of me. Because of you all I was able to put food on my table, and booze, and drugs, and women. Now as you for people in the back, ahem, I have a thank you list written out."
Nicky pulls out a piece of paper.
"Thank You to:
Ryan Hughes - for the constant supply of tea and crumpets. They were always quite good, even though my American pride made me lie about it.
Kristie's Kaboray - For your excellent strippers and hot wings. HOT DAYUM!
Kahlan - (Speaking of strippers) For being SEXY AS HELL and for trying to blow up Stone Orchard. Although you failed miserably, much like most of your in-ring ventures, you at least thought about doing it and that gets you an A for effort in my book.
Every Street Corner - For your consistent supply of pussy. I still don't know how I never got arrested.
Amanda Hallsworth - For letting Vlad rape you.
Wolverina - For letting Jaggy rape you multiple times. Beating that douchebag with a shitty haircut, Brian Commonqueef. And for being Kahlan's bitch.
Dominik Santiago - For giving me two of the best matches of my career, and for having he guts to SKO that out of control trunk monkey.
My nail gun and other weapons - I still don't know the difference between a wrist lock and a wrist watch, but by gawd because of you fine tools I beat the shit out of many a foe.
Dustin Delta - For really being Alice that one night at the hotel. Or was I just really blazed out of my mind?
Jaggeroth - For raping Wolfie and for keeping me drunk non stop with that specialty blend of whiskey.
Metal Dragon - For all the competitive drinking contests and also for the continuous 'asshole of the year' rivalries.
Vlad - FUCK YOU!
Mattie O - For tapping out to Ryan Hughes.
TPK - For being the best friend a mad man could have. You're mah boy, TPK, you're mah boy.
Jeff Young or whoever that kid was - For 'Champion'
All my past stable mates - The times in both Outcasts and Imperfects were a blast, even though it ended very badly for me EVERY FUCKING TIME!!!!
Annnnd with that, I am off to become the Roddy Piper of GHW, which means I'll be back to do guest commentary or special referee when my bank account gets a little low. Oh and one more thing.............."
He smiles one last evil Jokerish grin.
"BOW CHICKA BOW WOW."
The Narcotic Necromancer drops the mic and exits the ring, as more and more thunderous "THANK YOU NICKY" chants rise as does all into a standing ovation.
EOT
The man to whom the music heralds is none other than Nicholas Carson, who slowly emerges from the back decked out in a nice suit for a change, but also sporting bandages and fresh stitching from the effects of warfare in the Tower of London match. Despite his loss at Dawn of Destruction, Nicky appears calm, cool and collected as he takes a slow pace down the ramp and into the ring, where he is handed a mic upon entering. The Mauler walks in a circle, surveying the booing masses while maintaining his calm demeanor, which is such a stark contrast to his usual outrageousness. Finally, he comes to a stop, one hand in his pocket as if casually talking among friends.
"Almost one year ago I got a phone call from a good buddy of mine by the name of Ryan Hughes. NeXus 5 was coming up and he was looking for some people to play in Hell's Playground, and who better to recruit than me, right? He didn't come right out and say it, but in reality all he was asking for was me to show up, raise a little hell, smash people with a few weapons, then collect a pay check and leave. I knew what he wanted and, well, it was damn good money for basically a cameo appearance so I took him up on it. I did the gig, got paid, then went home and blew it on hookers and drugs. But in the days and weeks immediately following NeXus 5 something happened. For reasons I still don't understand, I took a long look at my career, and in some ways legacy I had left behind, and decided it was unacceptable."
The fans' jeering had subsided at last. For once the Lord of Lunacy was speaking from the heart, a thing they previously thought impossible, and it appealed to them.
"I didn't want the last image of me in GHW to be that ridiculously out of control chlorine spot and unceremonious exit from NeXus 5. I searched my soul, yes despite popular belief I do actually have a soul, and came to a realization. I am the KING of the DEATHMATCH! When someone in this industry says the word 'deathmatch' it is my face and my name that comes up above all others. But there was a problem. Possession is 9/10 of the law, and I didn't have the one item that would cement my place in history, the King of the Deathmatch championship belt. So I set out to claim it and, after devouring many foes, it came down to me and a man who had no business being in that environment, the greedy ass bitch-boy Dominik Santiago. But he won the battle that day."
In a rare scene the fans boo someone other than Carson, which brings a smile to his ugly face.
"Yet something happened in the fallout from that defeat. I looked at the big picture and realized that Dominik and Hayden were battling over who could hold all the titles at the same time. They were driven by selfish glory seeking and ultimately were holding down the young guys. It was bad for this industry, and bad for business in general. But who was going to stop them? Certainly not management. I was the ONLY one who had what it took to shatter their monopoly of the titles, and to claim the crowning jewel of my career, the KotDM title. So there it was, my mission, my last act of atrocity to solidify my legacy, to climb Mount Olympus and hurl Hayden's skinny little ass off it. And to destroy Dominik and his Legion. And I did EXACTLY as I had set out to do."
The crowd cheers again, kicking up a "THANK-YOU-NICKY" chant as Carson takes a pause to reflect.
"By the way, to the young guys in the back you're FUCKING WELCOME, even though you never bothered to thank me for that. In going about my mission though, the battles took their toll on this old war frame of mine. I'm not immortal. I'm a human fucking being. Injuries mounted but I fought through them. But I knew the time would come soon, very soon, for the torch to be handed off to someone else. A man worthy enough to sit atop Mount Deathmatch and reign with a iron scepter, or steel chair, either one. A few stepped up, good men and women, but I put them down. In the end, though, the one to take the torch from me was the same man who is a close friend of mine outside of this business. Dustin Delta."
The crowd pops loudly when Alice's name is uttered proudly by the Maniac Mauler, and he claps approvingly to share in their appreciation of the Deathmatch Majesty.
"In one single night at Dawn of Destruction, in a structure dreamed up by someone demented with entirely too much time on their hands, Dustin completed a metamorphosis, evolved, shattered the proverbial glass ceiling and took the reigns of the realm of ultra violence. The minute that innovative elbow connected, the torch was passed, and I would not have had it any other way. On that token, also, Delta I want to thank you. Thank you for giving me a proper exit, a spectacular send off. I went out in a blaze of glory like I always fancied myself doing, and it was only fitting that it came down to you and me."
A cowed silence falls over the audience. Was this leading down a path they did not really want? Was this man, the single most hated and reviled creature in wrestling history, the man they loved to absolutely hate, uttering words of retirement?
"In case you're still clueless to the point of this, I am done. I'm retiring, effective right now. I have nothing else to give. I have achieved all that I have wanted. And my body is all fucked up, especially from that mile high plunge at Dawn of Destruction. Seriously guys, what else can I do? Look at what I've done. I'm a former world champion, former KotDM champion, H-Games finalist, and competed in NeXus 5. I've been part of some of the most memorable and brutal memories of this sport. My list of victims speaks for itself. Hayden HardKore... beat him every time I stepped into the ring with him. Dominik Santiago... kicked his ass too. Desperado... beat that ass also. NVX, the man who ended Jake Diamond's career... yep, beat him. Millson? Jack Tracks? Jerry Nate? Shawn Dreamer? Kahlan? Demon? TPK and all 47 of his different personalities? Dave Carter? I beat them, the list goes on and on, yadda yadda you get the drift. And even when I didn't win the battles, I always won the war. Vladimir Strife, I broke him physically, killed him literally, and mind fucked him to the point he was easy pickings for Kingbear to end the streak. Kamil Fathi, I put that camel nigger through so much pain in the one and only match we ever had, that he was forced to retire. He lasted exactly one more match after our epic Arabian Deathmatch, but the injures I gave him put him out of commission and he hasn't competed since. And because of these things, and the events of DoD, I can walk away proudly with my head held high. To you the fans I want to thank you, even though you spent most of the time booing the shit out of me. Because of you all I was able to put food on my table, and booze, and drugs, and women. Now as you for people in the back, ahem, I have a thank you list written out."
Nicky pulls out a piece of paper.
"Thank You to:
Ryan Hughes - for the constant supply of tea and crumpets. They were always quite good, even though my American pride made me lie about it.
Kristie's Kaboray - For your excellent strippers and hot wings. HOT DAYUM!
Kahlan - (Speaking of strippers) For being SEXY AS HELL and for trying to blow up Stone Orchard. Although you failed miserably, much like most of your in-ring ventures, you at least thought about doing it and that gets you an A for effort in my book.
Every Street Corner - For your consistent supply of pussy. I still don't know how I never got arrested.
Amanda Hallsworth - For letting Vlad rape you.
Wolverina - For letting Jaggy rape you multiple times. Beating that douchebag with a shitty haircut, Brian Commonqueef. And for being Kahlan's bitch.
Dominik Santiago - For giving me two of the best matches of my career, and for having he guts to SKO that out of control trunk monkey.
My nail gun and other weapons - I still don't know the difference between a wrist lock and a wrist watch, but by gawd because of you fine tools I beat the shit out of many a foe.
Dustin Delta - For really being Alice that one night at the hotel. Or was I just really blazed out of my mind?
Jaggeroth - For raping Wolfie and for keeping me drunk non stop with that specialty blend of whiskey.
Metal Dragon - For all the competitive drinking contests and also for the continuous 'asshole of the year' rivalries.
Vlad - FUCK YOU!
Mattie O - For tapping out to Ryan Hughes.
TPK - For being the best friend a mad man could have. You're mah boy, TPK, you're mah boy.
Jeff Young or whoever that kid was - For 'Champion'
All my past stable mates - The times in both Outcasts and Imperfects were a blast, even though it ended very badly for me EVERY FUCKING TIME!!!!
Annnnd with that, I am off to become the Roddy Piper of GHW, which means I'll be back to do guest commentary or special referee when my bank account gets a little low. Oh and one more thing.............."
He smiles one last evil Jokerish grin.
"BOW CHICKA BOW WOW."
The Narcotic Necromancer drops the mic and exits the ring, as more and more thunderous "THANK YOU NICKY" chants rise as does all into a standing ovation.
EOT
