Post by JD Elliott on Apr 5, 2011 2:56:09 GMT -5
Scene...opens up to a lovely locker room painted a soulless black, suspecting the room may belong to an teen with angst going "wah wah wah I wear eyeliner all the time cause I'm sad." That's what the average person would think, but they would be wrong! Dead wrong in fact! Incredibly wrong! They would be so wrong, that they would be right, but wrong as well! Free time warps included*. But no! JD Elliott, short for Jeff Daniel Elliott, surprisingly not named after the alcohol, steps into the frame of the camera, staring right into the soul of every American and other watching. Even I, the 4th wall, am shaking in my shoes as we SPEAK! He clears his throat to start talking, which is followed by a sip of water from a water bottle, which is followed by another clearing of the throat, which is also followed by another sip of water, which is followed by him throwing the water bottle at his duffel bag, causing the bottle to explode. True story, Google it. Anyways, JD finally begins to speak and has this to say...
"I'm Jeff Daniel Elliott, Elliott with two T's...not one. One...is for the WEAK! I AM NOT WEAK! I am strong...strong like the wolf! Hungry like the...lion! I am a mastermind of all animals, but that is my secret, so...don't tell anyone or the wolf will find you, which won't be hard considering we all work in the same place at the same time usually, but I'm just saying. Just by some act of God you aren't here, then I, the wolf, will go hunting for you, the not-wolf, the prey, the dead. Badda bing? Badda bing. I'm glad we were able to get to that same understanding level of friendship, but now that friendship is over! Now...let's get serious here for a moment. I'm Jeff Daniel Elliott, one of the newest prospects of the wrestling scene to hit the GHW. I'm here not to joke around or make rap songs or do whatever they do here on their free time. I'm here to wrestle. I'm here...to tear people LIMB...FROM...LIMB! But not serious enough to get a assault case or worse, I'm a man of the law. You get the point, the message, the interaction I'm trying to give along to you, I'd be willing to make a PowerPoint presentation for you, but I won't have the time most likely."
JD walks off set and the faint sound of someone looking in a duffel bag is heard, but the source of the sound is completely unknown. Elliott walks back onto the set with a radio in his left hand and an iPod in his right. As well as some kind of cord in his right hand as well. Never breaking eye contact, JD begins to hook up his (or someone he stole it from) iPod to the radio in hopes to be able to produce some funky jams from said radio. JD then flips over a table and presses the play button on his iPod. It soon emits the sound of the 70s Glam Metal band, Whitesnake, playing their smash hit "Here I Go Again."
"OH yeah...this is legit right here. Nothing gets as real as this. NOTHING! I jam out to this while I come down to the ring, but people will notice and they will say, "JD, you don't have any MP3 or iPod device attached to your ears when you come down to Led Zeppelin." To that I say...I do listen to Whitesnake. Not from a machine...but from the machine known as the brain. In fact."
JD pauses as the chorus of the song slowly comes to, still keeping his straight face.
"And! Here. I. Go. AGAIN! On...ON! My own. Down the only road...I've ever known. Legit. LEGIT! SERIOUS! SHAMPOO!"
JD throws the iPod into the wall, causing the radio to come along with it, right into the wall, not exploding.
"Now...I'm Jeff Daniel Elliott and I'm here in GHW to kick some ass and chew bubblegum. I've got plenty of Spearmint gum. There isn't a single woman on this roster I'm afraid of, I'd gladly kick all of their skulls in. The men...the men is a whole different story...for the men. I'd go to a spa day with them with a nice back tissue massage and one of those mud baths. I'd follow it with a nice meal at the local fine dining food eating place. When they least suspect it...I'd stab them with the dinner fork and do a dropkick to them through the glass, table, local choir group, or the glass again, depending on our surroundings. Hopefully causing them pain in said process. I can then leave...the only thing left will be the smell of pure man from me...and...and any other males there in that area, but mostly me. Actually, to differ it, I'll throw in the scent of pink lemonade...or my own urine if the restaurant serves pink lemonade."
JD walks off set once more and the sound of duffel bag searching is heard once more, but the source remains a mystery. When he returns, nothing as changed to him, and he is holding nothing at all.
"I keep getting off topic, but once again. I'm Jeff Daniel Elliott, JD Elliot for short. I'm the new guy on the roster of Fighty fighty persons. I'm a student of Muay Thai and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. My main goal in GHW you may ask? The same goal of any Fighty fighty person, to become the world champion as well as to prove that I am not only the best Fighty fighty person in GHW, but the best Fighty fighty person...in the world. I'm not here to be anyones "bro" or to make friends, I'm here to destroy people and make people remember the name "JD Elliott." I won't be one to be easily forgotten, whether my presence here is short, you won't forget me. I am the American Wolf. Remember the name."
JD nods and walks away from the camera frame as the scene fades to black, then to a completely black screen. White, bold letters appear on the screen saying, "This Has Been A Parody Of Serious Fighty fighty persons. Like JD." Followed by a smiling face.
End of RP.
*actual time warp not included.
occ: credits to anyone who understands a single part of this RP.
"I'm Jeff Daniel Elliott, Elliott with two T's...not one. One...is for the WEAK! I AM NOT WEAK! I am strong...strong like the wolf! Hungry like the...lion! I am a mastermind of all animals, but that is my secret, so...don't tell anyone or the wolf will find you, which won't be hard considering we all work in the same place at the same time usually, but I'm just saying. Just by some act of God you aren't here, then I, the wolf, will go hunting for you, the not-wolf, the prey, the dead. Badda bing? Badda bing. I'm glad we were able to get to that same understanding level of friendship, but now that friendship is over! Now...let's get serious here for a moment. I'm Jeff Daniel Elliott, one of the newest prospects of the wrestling scene to hit the GHW. I'm here not to joke around or make rap songs or do whatever they do here on their free time. I'm here to wrestle. I'm here...to tear people LIMB...FROM...LIMB! But not serious enough to get a assault case or worse, I'm a man of the law. You get the point, the message, the interaction I'm trying to give along to you, I'd be willing to make a PowerPoint presentation for you, but I won't have the time most likely."
JD walks off set and the faint sound of someone looking in a duffel bag is heard, but the source of the sound is completely unknown. Elliott walks back onto the set with a radio in his left hand and an iPod in his right. As well as some kind of cord in his right hand as well. Never breaking eye contact, JD begins to hook up his (or someone he stole it from) iPod to the radio in hopes to be able to produce some funky jams from said radio. JD then flips over a table and presses the play button on his iPod. It soon emits the sound of the 70s Glam Metal band, Whitesnake, playing their smash hit "Here I Go Again."
"OH yeah...this is legit right here. Nothing gets as real as this. NOTHING! I jam out to this while I come down to the ring, but people will notice and they will say, "JD, you don't have any MP3 or iPod device attached to your ears when you come down to Led Zeppelin." To that I say...I do listen to Whitesnake. Not from a machine...but from the machine known as the brain. In fact."
JD pauses as the chorus of the song slowly comes to, still keeping his straight face.
"And! Here. I. Go. AGAIN! On...ON! My own. Down the only road...I've ever known. Legit. LEGIT! SERIOUS! SHAMPOO!"
JD throws the iPod into the wall, causing the radio to come along with it, right into the wall, not exploding.
"Now...I'm Jeff Daniel Elliott and I'm here in GHW to kick some ass and chew bubblegum. I've got plenty of Spearmint gum. There isn't a single woman on this roster I'm afraid of, I'd gladly kick all of their skulls in. The men...the men is a whole different story...for the men. I'd go to a spa day with them with a nice back tissue massage and one of those mud baths. I'd follow it with a nice meal at the local fine dining food eating place. When they least suspect it...I'd stab them with the dinner fork and do a dropkick to them through the glass, table, local choir group, or the glass again, depending on our surroundings. Hopefully causing them pain in said process. I can then leave...the only thing left will be the smell of pure man from me...and...and any other males there in that area, but mostly me. Actually, to differ it, I'll throw in the scent of pink lemonade...or my own urine if the restaurant serves pink lemonade."
JD walks off set once more and the sound of duffel bag searching is heard once more, but the source remains a mystery. When he returns, nothing as changed to him, and he is holding nothing at all.
"I keep getting off topic, but once again. I'm Jeff Daniel Elliott, JD Elliot for short. I'm the new guy on the roster of Fighty fighty persons. I'm a student of Muay Thai and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. My main goal in GHW you may ask? The same goal of any Fighty fighty person, to become the world champion as well as to prove that I am not only the best Fighty fighty person in GHW, but the best Fighty fighty person...in the world. I'm not here to be anyones "bro" or to make friends, I'm here to destroy people and make people remember the name "JD Elliott." I won't be one to be easily forgotten, whether my presence here is short, you won't forget me. I am the American Wolf. Remember the name."
JD nods and walks away from the camera frame as the scene fades to black, then to a completely black screen. White, bold letters appear on the screen saying, "This Has Been A Parody Of Serious Fighty fighty persons. Like JD." Followed by a smiling face.
End of RP.
*actual time warp not included.
occ: credits to anyone who understands a single part of this RP.