Post by Wolverina on May 1, 2011 11:54:17 GMT -5
Wolverina sits aloft a high backstage equipment crate in her wrestling attire, with her QotDM title wrapped around her sexyfit waist, and with her newly won EVPW Television championship laying on her lap, belt facing up. But what holds her undivided attention isn't the prestigious championships adorning her, but the cell phone clutched in her hands. She continues to flick the sliding screen open and closed impatiently, waiting for that all important step 5 of the horrible 12 she must endure to come ringing through.
Coors: "WOLFIE! Yes! Haven... I must get a word from you!"
The interviewer had rounded the corner in search of her, moreless sneaking up on the now standing up Queen of Deathmatches. She sits her phone down and looks at Charlie with a very morose expression, as if annoyed by his mere presence.
"I'm kinda going through a crisis right now, Coors."
Totally ignoring the feelings of the Prettiest Princess, Coors carries on excitedly.
"Yes, we know, and we sympathize greatly with what you are going through, but there's so many pressing issues running along side your predicament that need harked on. Your people, me included, deserve to know."
Haven sighs and approves with a "Oh well, might as well" hand gesture.
"Thank you! Let's get right into it. You, Haven Cassady, despite all this turmoil and tragedy with Amanda Brooks, have managed to turn in some of the most impressive performances of your career. 2011 has been your year so far. You've made history not once but twice, by becoming the first ever female KotDM Champion and by being the first woman to hold two singles titles at the same time. Just last week you did the impossible, you pinned the unbeatable Kasabian Stalker in the first fall of your match with him, thus winning yourself the coveted EVPW TV Championship. How does it feel? How have you possibly been able to do all of this with in such dire personal circumstances.?"
A bit taken aback by is line of questioning, which tapped nothing into the plight of her kidnapped Dad, the People's Princess bites down on her tongue to keep her anger in check. Opting out of lashing at him verbally or physically, the Queen of Extreme takes the route of sarcasm.
"Oh just peachy, Coors. I feel just peachy. Brooks and I have been playing hide and seek, and have been engaging in wild late night pillow fights. My Dad is still the main player in our new game of hostage, and has lost a few fingers out of the ordeal, but hey if he's any kind of a man he'll suck it up and survive, right? In case you haven't noticed, Coors, that was sarcasm. The next time you bother me with a question, you need to make them count. Now as for current happenings, yes, I went into EVPW and for three seconds I was better than the best, for those three seconds I exposed a kink in the unbeatable Pervert's armor and came away with the TV title because of it. But you see, instead on enjoying my 6th title as most would, I am stuck dealing with the Dark Princess. So things really AREN'T that good, and just warning you .... I am in a rare mood and it is NOT a good one."
Unsure of how to proceed with the highly uncharacteristic attitude of the Gorgeous Graceling, Charlie chalks it all up to it being "that time of the month" for her. In doing so he swiftly tweaks his remarks to focus more on something relative to upcoming events, such as NeXus.
"Fair enough. I'd like to move on to NeXus if I may, but not the match in which you'll be fighting Amanda Brooks. No, I am talking about the NeXus deathmatch itself. You signed up for it, Haven. You are the first woman to sign up and will be the first one to step foot into the structure on May 15th. Wolfie, you're going to have your hands MORE than full with Brooks, how in the world do you plan on winning NeXus when you've got some very stiff competition, some of whom we've already heard from such as Metal Dragon and Millison, among others."
The Title Queen adjusts her TV Title from one shoulder to the other while pondering straight faced. After a sudden non-chalant no big deal shrug, she chimes in with her usual seductive, honeyed voice.
"I know full well my chance of winning is virtually zero, but what I can do is crash a few parties, crush a few dreams. So I guess since you mentioned Mighty Man and Metal Dragon, and since they've been so vocal about their varied reasons and methods of winning this NeXus, I'll start by ruining things for those two. It should actually be easy, Coors. Millison has already stated that he'll win by not using any weapons, which won't happen. In a world full of weaponry, and men using those items with expertise in violence, Millson may last a minute maybe two if he's lucky. I just hope I am fast enough to get to him before the other sharks do. As for Metal Dragon...."
She merely rolls her eyes, then surprisingly chuckles.
"Let's face it, the man has an identity crisis. Since day one of me competing in EVPW and now GHW, I've seen him evolve much like the theory. I have seen him try to pull off being the hero, anti-hero, comedian, drunkard, God, a Street Fighter video game character, a mascot, and last but not least his new guise as Emo-Dragon. I totally thought he was going to cut himself with that knife, Charlie. It's ironic that he claims God has been a bad influence and ruined his life, because we all know that he considers himself God, hence the God complex he carries around. So, in actuality, as ironic as it sounds he did make some sense with it; Dragon himself is the one who ruined his life. But, Char-Char, Emo-Dragon is like a glass house, I can see right through."
"He's not a disappointment because he pushed his parents away, he's ALWAYS been a failure to them. The very moment he shot out of his Mom's womb they knew he was a mistake, a loser, totally pathetic. Sheesh, Charlie, my bowel movements hold more merit and importance in the world than him. Sadly, some people are just born that way, it's not their fault, heck it's actual like inheriting a bad disease gene from an ancestor. Sometimes you just have no control over it. Dragon is simply put a manky, twopenny-halfpenny, paltry, second-rate valueless little tinpot Fighty fighty person. So hey, let him blame everyone but himself for the twenty-something years of nothingness existence; let him show off his impressive spelling and wood carving skills, because it makes his flaws even more evident. As far as strategy goes in taking out Metal Dragon, well, since he has multiple personalties and/or an identity crisis, I could just convince him that he's been talking smack about himself and maybe he'll beat himself up over it. Pffft, nevermind, all I'll need to do is chuck him a bottle of Jack and sit him in the corner. By the time I'm done with the others, he'll be pissed drunk and passed out to where I can eliminate him. It's quite the brilliant little scenario, right? Coors?"
Utterly shocked at such a rant from the lovely lady, the interviewer elite remains speechless for a few lingers moments. Before he can follow up with anything, she cuts in.
"Well, it's been real and it's been fun, but it hasn't been real fun.... I think we are done here. Now run along microphone boy, head back to the ring to announce, or hit up the nearest bathroom to masturbate because you were near me for more than a few seconds."
And with that, Haven turns and grabs her cell phone, then walks away leaving Charlie feeling a bit down.
EOT.
Coors: "WOLFIE! Yes! Haven... I must get a word from you!"
The interviewer had rounded the corner in search of her, moreless sneaking up on the now standing up Queen of Deathmatches. She sits her phone down and looks at Charlie with a very morose expression, as if annoyed by his mere presence.
"I'm kinda going through a crisis right now, Coors."
Totally ignoring the feelings of the Prettiest Princess, Coors carries on excitedly.
"Yes, we know, and we sympathize greatly with what you are going through, but there's so many pressing issues running along side your predicament that need harked on. Your people, me included, deserve to know."
Haven sighs and approves with a "Oh well, might as well" hand gesture.
"Thank you! Let's get right into it. You, Haven Cassady, despite all this turmoil and tragedy with Amanda Brooks, have managed to turn in some of the most impressive performances of your career. 2011 has been your year so far. You've made history not once but twice, by becoming the first ever female KotDM Champion and by being the first woman to hold two singles titles at the same time. Just last week you did the impossible, you pinned the unbeatable Kasabian Stalker in the first fall of your match with him, thus winning yourself the coveted EVPW TV Championship. How does it feel? How have you possibly been able to do all of this with in such dire personal circumstances.?"
A bit taken aback by is line of questioning, which tapped nothing into the plight of her kidnapped Dad, the People's Princess bites down on her tongue to keep her anger in check. Opting out of lashing at him verbally or physically, the Queen of Extreme takes the route of sarcasm.
"Oh just peachy, Coors. I feel just peachy. Brooks and I have been playing hide and seek, and have been engaging in wild late night pillow fights. My Dad is still the main player in our new game of hostage, and has lost a few fingers out of the ordeal, but hey if he's any kind of a man he'll suck it up and survive, right? In case you haven't noticed, Coors, that was sarcasm. The next time you bother me with a question, you need to make them count. Now as for current happenings, yes, I went into EVPW and for three seconds I was better than the best, for those three seconds I exposed a kink in the unbeatable Pervert's armor and came away with the TV title because of it. But you see, instead on enjoying my 6th title as most would, I am stuck dealing with the Dark Princess. So things really AREN'T that good, and just warning you .... I am in a rare mood and it is NOT a good one."
Unsure of how to proceed with the highly uncharacteristic attitude of the Gorgeous Graceling, Charlie chalks it all up to it being "that time of the month" for her. In doing so he swiftly tweaks his remarks to focus more on something relative to upcoming events, such as NeXus.
"Fair enough. I'd like to move on to NeXus if I may, but not the match in which you'll be fighting Amanda Brooks. No, I am talking about the NeXus deathmatch itself. You signed up for it, Haven. You are the first woman to sign up and will be the first one to step foot into the structure on May 15th. Wolfie, you're going to have your hands MORE than full with Brooks, how in the world do you plan on winning NeXus when you've got some very stiff competition, some of whom we've already heard from such as Metal Dragon and Millison, among others."
The Title Queen adjusts her TV Title from one shoulder to the other while pondering straight faced. After a sudden non-chalant no big deal shrug, she chimes in with her usual seductive, honeyed voice.
"I know full well my chance of winning is virtually zero, but what I can do is crash a few parties, crush a few dreams. So I guess since you mentioned Mighty Man and Metal Dragon, and since they've been so vocal about their varied reasons and methods of winning this NeXus, I'll start by ruining things for those two. It should actually be easy, Coors. Millison has already stated that he'll win by not using any weapons, which won't happen. In a world full of weaponry, and men using those items with expertise in violence, Millson may last a minute maybe two if he's lucky. I just hope I am fast enough to get to him before the other sharks do. As for Metal Dragon...."
She merely rolls her eyes, then surprisingly chuckles.
"Let's face it, the man has an identity crisis. Since day one of me competing in EVPW and now GHW, I've seen him evolve much like the theory. I have seen him try to pull off being the hero, anti-hero, comedian, drunkard, God, a Street Fighter video game character, a mascot, and last but not least his new guise as Emo-Dragon. I totally thought he was going to cut himself with that knife, Charlie. It's ironic that he claims God has been a bad influence and ruined his life, because we all know that he considers himself God, hence the God complex he carries around. So, in actuality, as ironic as it sounds he did make some sense with it; Dragon himself is the one who ruined his life. But, Char-Char, Emo-Dragon is like a glass house, I can see right through."
"He's not a disappointment because he pushed his parents away, he's ALWAYS been a failure to them. The very moment he shot out of his Mom's womb they knew he was a mistake, a loser, totally pathetic. Sheesh, Charlie, my bowel movements hold more merit and importance in the world than him. Sadly, some people are just born that way, it's not their fault, heck it's actual like inheriting a bad disease gene from an ancestor. Sometimes you just have no control over it. Dragon is simply put a manky, twopenny-halfpenny, paltry, second-rate valueless little tinpot Fighty fighty person. So hey, let him blame everyone but himself for the twenty-something years of nothingness existence; let him show off his impressive spelling and wood carving skills, because it makes his flaws even more evident. As far as strategy goes in taking out Metal Dragon, well, since he has multiple personalties and/or an identity crisis, I could just convince him that he's been talking smack about himself and maybe he'll beat himself up over it. Pffft, nevermind, all I'll need to do is chuck him a bottle of Jack and sit him in the corner. By the time I'm done with the others, he'll be pissed drunk and passed out to where I can eliminate him. It's quite the brilliant little scenario, right? Coors?"
Utterly shocked at such a rant from the lovely lady, the interviewer elite remains speechless for a few lingers moments. Before he can follow up with anything, she cuts in.
"Well, it's been real and it's been fun, but it hasn't been real fun.... I think we are done here. Now run along microphone boy, head back to the ring to announce, or hit up the nearest bathroom to masturbate because you were near me for more than a few seconds."
And with that, Haven turns and grabs her cell phone, then walks away leaving Charlie feeling a bit down.
EOT.
