Revolving Return

[haven]

At a time and place in the present, upon GHW television, the programs cuts back from a commercial to continue with the next match. Instead of the usual no show by one or both competitors, a commotion happens amid the fans, causing the cameraman to swivel the lens to the source. It catches the bodacious figure of long absent Wolverina sliding over the top barricade. Wearing a pair of form fitting blue jeans and a gray form fitting hoodie (with hood down), Wolfie stands at the barricade with a huge mega big trophy in one hand. The fans let out a unified cheer for one of the best pound for pound Fighty fighty persons to ever step foot in a ring, despite the hatred they once held for her not too long ago.

Fuzz: Do my eyes beseech me?
Big Al: They do not. It's her. It's Wolfie in the flesh. I never thought I'd see this again.

She gives her masses a quick nod before securing a magic talking stick and entering the ring, dragging the trophy in with her. She sits the trophy down in the middle of the ring, the top of it rising well over her 5'8" height. As the crowd roars and gives her a hero's welcome back, she paces back and forth, each step more laden with fury than the last. This wasn't going to be a smiley faced kittens and rainbows segment, that's for sure. After a few moments she finally brings the mic up to her pristine little lips.

Wolfie: Several months ago I was told to pack my bags and go home. I had stepped on some toes again. People had gotten butthurt as usual. I vowed to never, ever come back to GHW even if they came back begging me. So I left. I did as they said. I went home to EVPW and found it almost a ghost town. They had just enough people to put on a show every once in awhile and it was during one of those shows that I was presented with this prestigious trophy. Pro Wrestling Illustrated had complied readers votes, online polls, and weighed in with their own personal opinions and at the end of the day I was declared the greatest female Fighty fighty person of all time. It came out of left field. And I'm honored to be coined the best ever. However, before the program even concluded, the interwebs were set ablaze by a certain blue haired bimbo bitch named Kahlan Clarkson.

"It seems she wasn't happy about being overlooked, or perhaps not even being nominated into the polls. She slandered me on the web, saying everything she could to try to discredit me. I became furious because I couldn't just come back and beat her ass. It consumed me. She kept yammering on until I started yammering back. Then, to my shock, she actually agreed to show up on a EVPW show to confront me. And of course, like she's done a million times to me and everyone else, she no showed. She Alex Stalled. She said she was going to come and kick my ass again take this trophy. Blah Blah. Bark Bark. Whatevs. But then EVPW closed and I was left with no ring to call my home anymore."

Wolfie slows her pacing down a bit and contemplates on how funny things seem to work out these days.

Wolfie: Then for reasons unknown till this day I was told I could come back in under a open compete clause. So here I am. I have come to claim Kahlan's Mrs. Butterworth's pancake ass. I even brought the trophy Kahlan seemed to be so obsessed with. The only question remains is this: will Kahlan prove to be the cowardly lioness of GHW as she's done of so many times before, or will she for once cowgirl up? I think now is as good a time as any to find out. You back there bitch?"

She walks toward the ropes and motions for her arch nemesis Kahlan to come down the ring and confront her.

tbcb Kahlan

[Nikki]

To the audience’s delight lights’ shadings take on a different cast after an over stretched period of delay. The gigantic titan-tron comes to life with the start of a video footage. There is a big stir from the crowd gathered as the starting image is a picture of Wolverina’s face in anguish. She mouths, “no more, please no more!” The sequence follows with a flying dropkick from a blue haired opponent driving two feet straight into the pretty face of the hurt girl. The next cut shows Wolverina being doubled over with her head and neck tucked in-between the same blue haired opponent’s legs, from there she is picked up like a sack of potatoes and power bombed back down on her spine. This is followed up with a new shot of Wolfie all groggy stumbling in the middle of the ring, suddenly her tormentor jumps into the scene from outside of the cut and grabs her around the neck while positioning her knees underneath her jaw, dropping down to deliver the infamous KKO. The next thirty seconds or so of the video is a montage of Kahlan laying on top of Wolverina at different settings while different referee’s count to three.

The video is cut into the smirking face of Kahlan as a single pyro is shot from the corner of the stage and explodes into sparkling bits. “All fired up” by Skew Siskin brings about a roar of jeers. The Ladder Queen sporting a ‘BADASS’ pair of sunglasses and dressed in tight leather trousers and jacket stomps her cowboy boots all over the stage until she comes to a stop midway to the ring. She seductively licks the top of her upper lip before pulling out a “magic stick” magically out from behind her, where it was tucked under the waistband of her trousers.

“Wolverina, oh Wolverina how I’ve had missed that SEXY and INNOCENT PLEADING look on your face every time I had you crumbling down to your knees after each and every one of our nine-hundred-and-ninety-nine matches we’ve had over the years. I can honestly say that I’d missed that even more than my week without any green tea.”

Big AL: Oh my! She must’ve missed Wolfie something fierce if that is true!

“Oh, and before I say anything else let me just clarify this one thing. EVERYTHING that you just said about me getting mad because you’ve slept your way into receiving an honouree trophy out somewhere in the small leagues… well it’s all just like your tits darling, FAKE. I couldn’t care any less about your endeavours in the adult industry honey, what I do care about though is that unbelievable attitude of yours. Let me get this straight, I beat you in tens of different matches, I use you like you’re some sort of an experimental mouse, and I punish you like a human shooting target… I get you fired, humiliating you to your break point, and yet you keep coming back with that FUCKING attitude. And you bring it with you at the worst of fucking moments! Take now for example, I’m once again on the right track to finally win the GHW’s world title having successfully qualified for the DFA ladder match at the biggest pay-per-view in the business, FULL CIRCLE and here you are back from the land of the dead trying to pick a fight which we both know how would end.”

Kahlan takes the shades off pointing with them towards Wolverina.

“Listen to me bitch, as much as I love beating that thick skull of yours around here, this place isn’t big enough for both of us and you know full well my name and legacy has been incarnated into the very DNA of GHW, so heed my warning, pick that stupid plastic garbage shove it under your arm and crawl back to the hole you’ve been at in the past few months. You know It doesn't matter what you had for dinner! Because this BADASS BEE-ATCH here is one ANGRY birdie and there is no more redemptions left for you to recover with. If you don’t leave I will end your mother fucking, JOKE of a career for good.”

Fuz: Oh, shit just got real!

Kahlan drops the shades and microphone, slips out of her HARLEY DAVIDSON jacket and slams it at her feet looking ready for a fight.

TBCB Wolverina

[Millson and Simpson]

Suddenly, a familiar theme is heard and after a few seconds of cheering from the fans, their Hometwon Hero, Dow Jones, strolls through the curtain, a secondary eruption of volume from the crowd emanating around the arena. Dow raises his arms and flashes a smile, before slapping hands with the front row members of the audience, Kahlan and Wolverina watching gobsmacked as the former New Age title contender steps up the steel ring steps, making sure not to crease his very unfamiliar suit. Dow clambers up the turnbuckle and raises his arms once again, his hometown fans once again giving him a large pop. Dow hops down and pulls out a microphone from inside his suit pocket, before pushing his signature sunglasses upto the top of his head and turning to the two warring females.

I'm so sorry to interrupt you two. I know this is one of the most personal rivalres GHW has ever had and I know everybody wants to see it finally come to it's conclusion. But I've got something to say that I think everybody here in my hometown of Boston, Massachussetts, wants to hear even more.

The crowd cheer again at the mention of their city, before DJ continues on.

You see, not only is the Hardcore Icon, the Hometown Hero, Dow Jones, back in GHW, but he's going to make an immediate impact. Because Dow Jones has been appointed the new General Manager of GHW! And as my first act as GM, I'm going to add you, Wolverina, into the DFA match at Full Circle. You two and Jack Tracks, Triple Threat Ladder match, good luck.

Jones throws the microphone away and hops out of the ring, slapping hands with the front row members of the audience once again, before leaving backstage, Kahlan and Wolverina now string at each other with renewed hatred.

TBC

(I know Wolverina was next, but to make sure I've got enough matches booked, I needed to do that. Also, Adam "Dow"Jones is the new GM. How about that, huh?)

[haven]

Before Jones had arrived and made his announcement, Wolverina's face was beet red. She was both embarrassed and angry at the video montage Kahlan welcomed her back with, and her harsh words. Wolfie hadn't expected such a thing from the usually lazy and inattentive angry bird. It caught her off guard and left her at a loss for words. But when Jones showed up and made his block buster announcement, Wolverina perked back up. She wasn't bright eyed and smiley necessarily, but her confidence had been given a decent boost. She gave the Hometown Hero a respectful nod as he exited and made his way to the backstage area, not paying the angry bird any mind as he did so. After the new GM had vanished from view, Kahlan turned back toward Wolvierna, her eyes narrowed and menacing. Likewise, Wolfie shared the same dagger eyed gaze and brought the boom stick back to her luscious lips.

Wolverina: You want to talk about me having bad timing? Consider it karma for all the times you ambushed me and let everyone under sun EXCEPT you do your dirty work before you threw that Anorexic Annie frame over mine for all those wins. This time it's on you. Because of your obsessive need to be called the best ever, you just HAD to run that gigantic cock holster to anybody and everybody that would listen until you finally got me reinstated. So here I am Troll-lan. You wanted me you got me. And what is this legacy you hold claim to all of a sudden? Seriously, aside from riding Dreamer's coat tail and car bombing Stone Orchard, you have done exactly nothing. Zilch. Nada. Zero. Oh, wait, you won the Television Title a few times. But you never rose higher than that tier did you Kahlan? Despite your sexual favors to the bosses and several world title shots over the course of the years, you have not and will not ever achieve anything greater than what you have already, because you're mediocre at best. You're not Wolverina. You're not strong enough, fast enough, pretty enough, and you damn sure ain't tough enough to be a finalist in Nexus, to win and defend every single championship of importance across two brands, and to single handily revolutionize women's wrestling like I have. While you were no showing matches, going on random and lengthy sabbaticals, and just being a lazy good for nothing sperm spittoon, I was out here putting boot to asses, asses in seats, and being a role model for the kids. So the only thing fake in this whole Wolverina-Kahlan equation is your legacy. You're a legend in your own mind, Cunt-lan. Hate to break it to you."

Wolfie stood poised and proud of herself. She could tell Kahlan was feeling the heat like she was earlier. The People's Princess held up a finger to hold the raging woman at bay for a quick second.

Wolverina: I'm going to help you out though. At Full Circle, despite Jack Tracks being involved, I will see to it that you will have a legacy, although it will be one you are not going to be fond of. I'm going to make you famous. Years for now when people look back on Full Circle 2012 they'll laugh and reminiscence about how some silly little cunt bubble with horrible British dental work fancied herself some kind of legend... only to be made a fool of and crucified in front of millions of people, never to be seen or heard from again. I will leave you with my anger, a forced legacy of humiliation will I brand you with. So until then, sleep well twat-lan."

It appeared as though she was done with her remarks. She lowered the mic but then brought it back up real quick.

Wolverina: Getting back to the topic of fake. I know one thing that isn't fake. It's that good old fashioned passionate ass whipping you'll get if you come down that aisle right now and slide that little skin painted slab of bones you call a body into this ring!"

Wolverina tossed the mic down with a fury and balled up her fists. The crowd was going bonkers and the announcers were talking with such excitement that their voices were becoming unintelligible.

tbcb Kahlan.

OOC: Wow thanks MMM/Dow Jones. This just got interesting.

[Nikki]

Kahlan’s Jaw was still hanging open from the incredulously surprising announcement from the new GM of TNT, and when Wolverina laid it out to her plain and simple beckoning her for a good old fashined “ass whipping” she slowly came back to reality. Clarkson finally manages to overcome her shock and smacks her gob shut but a seething anger rises from somewhere deep within evolving her expression into a sour look of disgust. Her face scarlet, the Ladder Queen loses her control on sanity and does the unexpected. She accelerates like an arrow released from a bow towards the ring and the mocking figure it holds inside. In a heartbeat she reaches the square and slides head first from underneath the bottom rope only coming up to be beaten to the first strike by Wolverina. Wolfie’s fist lands the first exclamation mark on K’s cheek, however it is instantly answered back with a vicious hook from the three times tag team world champion. This instantly sparks a flurry of back and forth punches being thrown with absolute malice.

Fuz: OH MAY GAWD! HERE WE GO! WE REALLY HAVE COME TO A FULL CIRCLE WHERE THESE TWO INDIVIDUALS ARE CONCERNED!
Al: Wolverina’s attitude was just too much for Kahlan’s liking and she’s snapped, look at her go! Oh, now here comes the heavy stuff, a straight headbutt from the United Kingdom’s SLUT BUSTER!

Wolverina is driven back with the stiff forehead strike she receives from Kahlan but quickly gains her composure giving some back with a low kick into the Brit’s abdomen, lowering her height enough so as she is able to hook Kahlan around the scruff of her neck and do a 180 turn on spot throwing K over the ropes and to the outside. She follows her victim out as soon as she lands with a break neck collision. The Nebraskan lives up to her Queen of EXTREME alias quickly retrieving two Kendo sticks from underneath the ring, one in each hand.

Al: HOLY-
Fuz: -UH-OH!

Kahlan moaning and labouring, rubbing the back of her neck looks up to see her demonised nemesis wielding such terrible weapons. She bolts. Into the crowds she runs by jumping over the barricades putting distance between herself and Wolverina as if she is the Black Death itself.

Fuz: Look at her run like a scolded dog! What happened to her threats about ending Wolverina’s career if she stayed in the ring!? I don’t see her running away!
Al: Kahlan is doing the smart thing! This wasn’t fair, she wasn’t prepared for this! First that ASS of a GM randomly puts Wolverina into a match Kahlan had to go through a whole lot of competition to qualify for, and now that Nebraskan whore is cheating by bringing weapons to a fist fight!
Fuz: Hey, watch who you’re calling a whore! That innocent woman is a true church going Christian for Christ’s sake!
Al: She is a cheating, manipulative slut! Just ask that lucky bastard Dow freaking Jones!

Wolverina spends a long minute watching Kahlan scramble away through the swath of humanity before rolling back into the ring. She responds to the deafening screams of the crowd by throwing her Kendo stick wielding fists high in the air in victory. This only makes the people go even louder in their cheers for their long gone Queen.

Al: I just hope Kahlan wouldn’t go any easy on her this Sunday, she certainly doesn’t deserve it.
Fuz: Oh shut the hell up!

The end