WalMart Deathmatch.

[gnarfflinger]

Gnarfflinger the Butcher and Justin Michael walk into teh Walmart. The Greeter welcomes them, and bids them to have a nice day. The tag Team Champs then spread out to get a layout of the store...

TBC: Alex Stall or Hawkeye.

[Alex Stall]

A page is heard over the Loudspeakers in the Wal-Mart and everyone looks around as Alex and Hawkeye walk in.

Voice: This Match has been Scheduled for One Fall and is a Wal-Mart Deathmatch! Thank you for shopping at your local area Wal-Mart and have a great day!

Alex and Hawkeye make their way in and nod to the greeter as they make their way to one of the paging booths and everyone stares at them after the announcement. Alex smiles to a pretty young girl name Jessica and starts to small talk with her. Hawkeye picks up the phone and hits the page button and holds it to his mouth.

Hawkeye: Ladies and Gentlemen, for your convenience, please stay away from the TLC, Light Tubes, Kitchenware, and Sporting Goods departments, This is gonna be one hell of a match!

Hawkeye hangs up the phone and looks at Alex who is flirting with the cute blonde and shakes his head and taps him on the shoulder. Alex gets her number and sticks it in his pocket and walks away laughing as him and Hawkeye joke around on the way to Sporting Goods.

Justin and Gnarflinger spend their time gaining their grounds and searching for good weapons, which Gnarf successfully picks up the largest and heaviest frying pan he can in Kitchenware, and Justin receives a Tire Iron from the TLC. Alex and Hawk pass Hardware and Alex gets a staple gun and make their way to Sporting Goods.

JP and Ray make their way into the Wal-Mart and go to the Customer Service Desk and sit in a pair of nice chairs placed there for them and have microphones set up as well. They sit down and get comfortable in the accomodations.

JP: Now this is what I call bringing the show to the fans, The store is full of associates, customers, and even the managers, I cant beleive they are allowing this!

Ray: these four men are going to go nuts on each other every where from Women's apparel to Men's Underwear, I Love It!!!!

Alex and Hawk make it to Sporting Goods and smile broadly as Alex receives a box of fish hooks, a thing of Fishing Line and a Baseball Bat. Hawkeye throws a bag of golf clubs over his shoulder and then grabs a tazer after kicking in the glass on the tazers and checks its charge and walks over to the counter where Alex is waiting and they start making a plan as they wait to hear something from Gnarf or Justin.

((OOC: This seems unfair, I work at Wal-Mart.... I know everything they have in stock and the layout of a Wal-Mart easily..... LOL))

TBCB: Hawkeye or Justin

[gnarfflinger]

OOC: I'm going from memory because haven't been to any Walmarts in weeks. I'm also in Canada. Our walmarts don't have firearms or tasers. Also, this may sound stupid, but what is TLC? I'm also posting now because I won't get online until tomorrow night...

Gnarfflinger and Justin make their way to the edge of the sporting goods section. They spot Alex Stall and Hawkey first, but they try to get a good tactical position. The Butcher finds a nice hard basket ball, and throws it at Alex Stall, beaning him in the head. Alex looks, spots the Butcher. Gnarf is at the end of an Aisle. Alex walks up that aisle while Hawkeye goes up the adjacent one. Justin sees where Hawkeye is going, and sneaks behind him. AS Alex closes in on Gnarfflinger from one Aisle, and Hawkeye is getting closer to the other end with the Taser ready, Justin slams the tire iron into the back of the head of Hawkeye as the Butcher clashes the Frying pan against the baseball bat wielded by Alex Stall.

JP: We're started off in what should be a brutal match.
Ray: And Justin was nice enough to hit that sexy Hawkeye in the back of the head so as not to damage that pretty face...

Justin lands two more shots to the back of Hawkeye as the Butcher uses his frying pan for a shield. Gnarfflinger deflects an over head swing to his left then delivers a drop toe hold sending Alex face first onto the Frying pan.

Hawkeye grabs a sleeve of golf balls and throws them under the feet of Justin while he gets to his feet a few feet away from the foe, who slips on a golf ball and lands on his hands and feet in the aisle. Hawkeye retrieves a nine iron and drives a golf ball into Justin.

Gnarffligner then picks up Alex only to take a Staple gun to the forehead. Alex continues to staple the forehead of the Butcher. Gnarfflinger grabs Alex in a collar and elbow tie up to stop the assault. The two grapple into the main aisle, where the Butcher manages to flip Alex into the end of the next aisle. He sees Hawkeye shooting golf balls at Justin as he tries to get to his feet. The Butcher then gores Hawkeye into another Aisle end. Alex retrieves a taser and shocks the Butcher, but Justin has regained his feet and drives the tire iron into Alex Stall's right leg. The two grapple and go in one direction while Gnarfflinger Irish whips Hawkeye in another direction...

[Hayabusa]

Hawkeye gets irish whipped and smashes the glass to the gun cabinet and falls to the ground as the glass shatters and flys all over the place. Gnarffinger walks over and picks up a piece of glass and begins to dig it into Hawkeyes forehead through the mask putting a rip in the mask as blood starts to trickle out. Gnarffinger kicks Hawkeye in the gut and then slams him onto the hard floor.

Justin and Alex are grappled and they make there way towards housewares where both Justin and Alex let go they both look at each other and each one grabs one of the frying pans and they begin to duel with them, Justin feigns a swing causing Alex to fall for it and when he does Justin nails him in the stomach followed by a head shot that sends Alex crumpling to the floor. Gnarffinger comes over to join Justin and Alex and gets a wicked grin on his face as he spys a cast iron frying pan. Gnarffinger picks up the frying pan and motions for Justin to pick up Alex. Justin picks up Alex and is holding him as Alex struggles to get free. Gnarffinger smiles wickedly and backs up several paces for a running start, Gnarffinger runs and swings the frying pan but Alex mule kicks Justin and Gnarffinger waffles Justin in the head with the frying pan instead as Alex then Low blows Gnarffinger.

Hawkeye finely slowly gets up blood trickling down his mask from where Gnarffinger cut him. He then proceeds to pick up a piece of broken glass as Alex is stomping on both Justin and GTB Hawkeye comes over and looks down at Gnarffinger and then mounts him before taking the piece of glass and digging it into Gnarffingers forehead before run it across cutting him open and giving him a crimson mask. Alex smiles as he picks up Justin who is still out of it from the cast iron pan. Alex then DDT's Justin onto the floor as Hawkeye goes to mount Justin and takes the same piece of glass and begins to dig it into Justins forehead before bringing it across giving him a crimson mask as well.

Alex and Hawkeye look down at the bloodied faces of Gnarffinger and Justin and then Alex goes towards Automotive and Hawkeye towards Lawn and Garden.

[gnarfflinger]

As Hawkeye drags Justin towards Lawn and Garden, the Butcher grabs a cast iron frying pan and follos them. Hawkeye shoves Justin into the shelves, then turns to get the Frying pan into the face courtesy of Gnarfflinger! Gnarf then rips open a bag with fertilizer, grabs a handfull and rubs it into the open wounds of Hawkeye. Justin grabs a shovel and assaults Hawkeye. The Tag team champs continue the beatdown, then pile heavy bags of fertilizer on top of Hawkeye. When they are comfortable that he is suitably buried, they head for Automotive...

Meanwhile, Alex has selected a tire iron, but started towards Lawn and garden when he heard Hawkeye in trouble. The Butcher charges with a spear catching Alex near the entrance to electronics. The butcher then picks up Alex, whips him towards Justin who smashes Alex with the shovel. The Butcher then drags Alex into Electronics and tosses him headfirst into a 51" plasma television!

JP: This could get real expensive, real fast!
Ray: Not Alex's pretty face!

The Butcher then hoists another TV over his head, but Alex mule kicks the butcher in the nuts, causing him to drop the TV on his head (smashing the TV on impact). Meanwhile Justin Michael has grabbes a PS3 Controller and begins choking Alex with the cord. The Butcher staggers down the aisle, uses teh shelves to get to his feet. He spots a CD. Celine Dion's greatest hits.

GtB: Awful expensive for a blank CD...

He opens it and comes to where Alexa has just takent he pressure off the choke by connecting a flailing elbow with the testicles of the Real Rockstar. He looks up to see the Butcher move in to open the forehead with the CD.

JP: The Butcher is really working over Alex Stall, and Hawkeye is nowhere to be seen!
Ray: And he's using a Celine Dion CD. Can't he use something better like Sir Elton John?
JP: Why don't you go down to Electronics and make a reccommendation?

Meanwhile, Hawkeye has somehow been extracated from the pile of fertilizer. Any question of where the action is is quickly answered by the crashing and screams of pain. Hawkeye astaggers towards the Electronics department...

TBC: Justin I hope...

[Alex Stall]

Hawkeye makes his way into Electronics, just missing seeing Gnarflinger tackled by a mangaer of the store, who now has the cd and is occupying Gnarf by berating him about stealing and is talking 500 miles a minute. Hawkeye notices the manager's name is Ed and Alex and Justin just stare at Gnarf and Ed. Alex stands up and picks up the PS3 controller and spins it around and slams it, shattering it across Ed's skull and turns to catch a dropkick by Justin into the chest. Gnarf finally regains his composure and goes to stomp on Alex, but catches a metal antenna harshly across the back by Hawkeye, using its thin metal design to beat Gnarf across the back, causing horrible cuts.

JP: I'll never look at a manager of Wal-Mart the same, he just took out Gnarf before being knocked cold!

Jessica The Cashier: He's a dickhead any way, everyone here hates him, I think Alex is my new favorite Fighty fighty person!

JP: Who was it before may I ask?

Jessica: Justin Michael.

JP, Ray and Jessica laugh as Justin hears the comment and spears Hawkeye into a cd rack, causing both men to be stabbed by broken peices of plastic and fall on top of Ed. Alex stands up first out of the four men and makes his way over to Harware, shortly followed by Gnarflinger. Justin stands up and picks Hawkeye up and whips him into a game display case for the Xbox 360 and shatters the glass and Hawkeye yells in pain of all the glass cutting him and turns just in timse to hit Justin with a drop toe hold face first into the metal racks holding the games. Alex makes it to Hardware and waits for Gnarflinger. Gnarf rushes and tackles Alex, beginning to punch him visciouly in the face.

JP: Wow, Justin and Hawkeye are proving a certain hatred for Microsoft as Gnarflinger goes sadistic on Alex, who the hell thought this up.

((Vlad watches the match in his office and gives a big sadistic smile as he takes a drink of his beer.))

Ray: who ever did is one sadistic son of a bitch I tell you that!

((Vlad smiles even bigger and pats his belt proudly.))

Gnarf gets off of Alex and looks around like a kid in a candy shop and picks up a thing of duct tape and undoes the packaging. Alex beats him to the punch though and grabs a floor level and well.... levels Gnarflinger to the floor in the side of the head with it. Hawkeye gets up and grabs Justin and whips him out of Electronics and into Men's Clothing. Justin hits a clothing rack and drops to the floor. Hawkeye follows after him but catches a punch to the stomach and a shirt wrapped around his throat as he is drug to the ground.

JP: Justin just doesn't have any taste for good clothes, look at him ruining that perfectly good shirt!

Ray: No JP, Justin is just to sexy for it, or nearly as cheap as you are, did you buy that shirt here on clearance or at Goodwill?

JP: My wife bought me this shirt you ass hole!

Ray: So she's the one without style? That explains the jeans too.....

JP slams Ray's head into the counter and begins to chew him out as Hawkeye punches Justin in the head and stands up and catches his breath. Justin stands up slowly, but not quick enough to dodge an Irish Whip into the female dressing room where he bounces off of the wall and falls back into the door that Hawkeye kicks closed on the back of his head. Alex stands up shortly before Gnarflinger and goes to grapple with the Butcher but catches a thumb to the eye. Alex steps back in pain as Gnarf drop kicks him and retreives the duck tape and walks over to Alex.

Jessica: OK, since Ray and JP are at each other's throats and me and my friend here are avid fans, we'll take over.

Berta From Customer Sevice: Oh Yeah, I finally get my voice on Wrestling, and its worth it since Alex and Gnarflinger are tearing each other up in HArdware.

Jessica: And of course I've heard of coming out of the closet, but I guess Hawkeye wants Justin to come out of the dressing room

The door to the dressing room opens and Justin is laying there in a daze. Hawkeye picks him up and drags him over to the Gracery Department. Justin starts coming around as he feels the cold air from the Deli and counters Hawkeye trying to slam his head into the glass display with a spinning hammerlock and slams Hawkeye's head through the glass, making both men receive a few more cuts. Justin lets Hawkeye fall and picks up a full peice of Salami and slams it into Hawkeye's head after taking a quick bite. Gnarflinger slams the roll of duct tape into alex's head, but becomes bored with his first idea and stanmds up and slams it into Alex's stomach. Gnarf then grabs an empty gas can and begins slamming it into Alex's face as Alex tries to block the shots. Gnarflinger laughs and slams the gas can on him again and throws it to the side and goes off and finds himself a sledge hammer.

Jessica: Looks like Justin just loves having long hard meat in his hands and mouth, and he's trying to share it with Hawkeye in his own way!

Berta: Gnarf and alex seem to be more into the hard core likings, and it looks like all that Gnarf is doing is beating the hell out of alex without letting up!

Hawkeye goes to stand up and Justin kicks him, but Hawkeye using his agility rolls with the kick and makes it to his feet with the force to have him run up a display and do a moonsault onto Justin, laying them both onto the hard marble floor. Gnarf walks over to Alex and smiles sadistically as he pulls the sledgehammer up, looking to destroy Alex's bad knee finally, but catches a kick to his own knee by Alex's good leg. Alex stands up and punches The Butcher in the face and smiles as his plan works out and he whips Gnarf back through the aisle so hard he falls and lands on the ground hard. Gnarf's eyes grow wide as he jumps and does a 180 degree turn because he cant stop and slams into a wall of light tubes. The resounding explosion from the busting light tubes sends little shards of glass and dust everywhere. Alex looks up and shows a bloody nose from hitting the ground and pain from his knee hitting in a strange angle. Alex tries to stand but cant due to the ever worsening pain in his leg. Gnarf hits the floor, now covered in small bloody spots on his skin except his face where he blocked it. Justin and Hawkeye lay on the ground in the Deli and all four men try and catch their breath and regain the ability to move.

TBCB: Anyone

((OOC: If you want to hear the story of Berta, Ed, and Jessica, just let me know, Vlad and KB know and should love this. BTW Gnarf, TLC is Tire And Lube Center))

[justin]

OCC: Sorry for leaving you on your own Gnarf, I've had mid-terms

As Justin makes his way to his feet Hawkeye is close behind him, but is put back on the ground with The Real Rockstar's boot in his face. As Hawkeye is back on the ground Justin drags him towards the checkout area where he see's Alex and Gnarfflinger near the very disorganized cheap DVD's and the books. Justin smiles as Hawkeye pulls away from Justin Michael and gets to his feet. Justin attempts to stop him from attacking with a clothesline, but Hawkeye ducks and spin Justin around and gouges his eye.

Jessica: Justin Michael is getting poked in the eye!

As Alex Stall throws Gnarfflinger into the metal bin full of $5.50 DVDs Hawkeye Irish whips Justin into the bin. Gnarfflinger is literally swimining in the DVDs as Alex goes over to Justin to help Hawkeye lift Justin into the air. and into the bin as well.

Now as the tag team champions seem to be stuck in the bin Hawkeye and Alex go over to the clearance section in the main aisle. Alex finds a cheap walmart brand dog chain, and Hawkeye begins to drag the entire clearance rack towards the bin.

Berta: I just organized that Stuff... Oh well this is pure wrestling fun in Wal-Mart

Alex Pulls Justin back out of the Bin, but before he can choke him with the chain Justin trips Alex and grabs the chain for himself. As Justin begins to chooke Alex with the cheap chain, it breaks and Justin begins to curse about. Meanwhile, before Hawkeye can pull the rack to the bin Gnarfflinger is up and jumps out of the bin on to Hawkeye and the clearance rack.

After throwing the chain Justin pulls Alex up, drags him to a check out center, and throws him on top of it.

Jessica: Justin seem's unstoppable right now!

Gnarfflinger gets up and moves over to helps Justin Michael. He pulls the credit card swiper off the stand and contiuesly hits Alex with it.

Berta: If Hawkeye does not get up soon Alex will be destroyed by the tag team Champions

At the same time Hawkeye does get to his feet and turns to chop block Gnarfflinger The Butcher. Hawkeye then looks for something to hit Gnarffligner with, but cannot find anything.

Justin Michael continues to hit Alex who is showing no signs of life. Justin then gets up off the coutner and grabs a pen that was used by the cashier before she escaped. Justin begins to repeatedly stab Alex in the face with it causing massive amounts of blood to pour out.

Suddenly Justin Michael stops as Gnarfflinger and Hawkeye keep fighting as they begin to fight moving near the restroom area. Justin looks at Alex's face then at his hands which are extremely bloody. Justin shakes his head then looks up to the sky. Justin Michael falls to his knees as he raises his hands in the air.

Jessica: What is Justin doing!

Then quickly after Justin gets back to his feet, shakes his head. and nods at Gnarfflinger and Hawkeye before he walks out of Wal-Mart. The camera follows Justin as he is hanging his head in shame.




OCC: Again sorry for the absence lately guys.... this was previously planned out by myself and Vlad. Sorry for not informing you gnarff

[gnarfflinger]

OOC: Thanks for the info, Alex. Trickshot, In Canada, tasers and firearms are more restricted than in the US. Justin, I could just as easily have not noticed...

Gnarffligner and Hawkeye continue the brawl, spilling into the mens room. The Butcher stuffs Hawkeye's head into the toilet and flushes.

JP: Gnarfflinger gives Hawkeye a brown swirlie. Shut up Ray.
Jessica: Did we say you could talk?
Berta: Gnarfflinger will need to be doubly nasty to survive this...
Ray: If anyone can pull this off, it's Gnarflinger the Butcher...

The Butcher then stuffs the right armbehind Hawkeye and through the handle to allow the handicapped to use the toilet and pulls the legs out from under Hawkeye, causing his arm to get stuck at a painful angle in the handle. Gnarf gives him a kick to the head, bouncing it off the concrete wall for good measure. Hawkeye slumps down, allowing the Butcher time to focus on Alex Stall.

By this point, Alex is getting to his feet. The Btucher then catches Alex with a spear. They lock up and roll towards the front entrance. Justin Michael is seen getting into a car and leaving. The Butcher delivers a back body drop placing Alex stall in a grocery cart. The Butcher then pushes the cart through the grocery section. He grabs a bottle of tobasco sauce and pours it into the open wounds in the forehead of Alex Stall. He then washes the wounds--with the highest acid content orange juice he can find! He smashed a jar of salted peanuts into the skull of his victim. He grabs a bag of Salt and Vinegar potato chips. He sets it up on the floor, sets up Alex Stall for a gourdbuster, but Alex reverses with a low blow and delivers a face crusher on the back of chips!

Jess: That has to hurt. All those seasoned crumbs diging into the wounds while the seasonings aggravate the pain.
Berta: Gnarffligner has got to be pissed!
Ray: I think I should check on Hawkeye...
JP: You stay put. I wouldn't trust you in a men's room with any of the talent...

Alex whips the Butcher out of the potato chip aisle and into the toy section...

TBC: Anyone...

[Hayabusa]

Hawkeye comes through and feels the pain in his arm as his head throbs and blood is trickling out of his forehead. After many mintues Hawkeye is able to work himself free, holding his arm he walks out of the bathroom as Berta, Ray, JP, and Jessica look on.

Jessica: Wow! Hawkeye is still alive after what ever beating he took in the bathroom.

Ray: Thats what I say everytime I watch him wrestle

JP: Hawkeye is a rugged and tough individual If you had only seen some of the matches that he has been in, you would be amazed at what he does.

Berta: Is he single? what does he look like under that mask?

Ray: I think he is single but he needs to hook up with me because I could do things for him that no woman could do.

JP: Shut up Ray, you been told I don't know how many times about that.

Jessica: Oh my I didn't realize that Ray was like that. listen to that noise anyone got the camera so we can see what we are missing?

Hawkeye makes his way over to Gnarffinger and Alex who are going at it in the toy aisle. Hawkeye finds one of the nerf guns and opens up the package removing the darts and loading them up into the rapid fire nerf gun. Hawkeye spys Gnarffinger beating Alex with a barbie doll. Hawkeye calls out to GTB who turns his attention and gets shot in the forehead with one of the nerf darts. GTB shakes his head and then drops to his knees as one of the darts hits him in his jewels.

Ray: GTB needs a massage he appears to be in pain.

Jessica: Hawkeye has good aim I see

Berta: Oh my god did you see that? Hawkeye ran jumped onto the bin filled with hotwheel cars jumped off and hit some kind of a spin kick on GTB.

JP: That would happen to be a spinning heel kick from off the bin of hotwheels, I told you that Hawkeye is amazing. You girls should come see our next show.

Ray: I need to go tend to GTB I can tell he is really hurt..Owww!

Jessica: that could be something kewl.

Alex begins to come too and see's Hawkeye getting up and Gnarffinger layin on the ground. Alex stumbles over picking up Gnarffinger and locking his arms so that he is applying a full nelson Hawkeye then smiles as he hits a drop kick as Alex hits a tiger suplex on GTB causing the back of GTBs head to crash onto the hard floor. Alex stands up and stumbles from the loss of blood but regains his wits as he looks around laughing a bit about all the damage that has been done to this store.

Alex: Who do you think pays for all this damage?

Hawkeye Not us LOL, Claims and loss prevention must be having a fit about now.

Loss prevention at that very moment comes out and trys to tell the three men to leave but Hawkeye and Alex both laugh as they turn around and start to beat down the loss prevention people.

[gnarfflinger]

As Security comes to the aid of Loss prevention, Gnarfflinger gets to his feet. He takes a croquet mallet to the testicles of Alex Stall, then using the handcuffs he lifted from security, he handcuffs Alex Stall to the Girls toy shelf. The Butcher then takes a nightstick to Hawkeye. He drags him away from the crowd...

LP: Shouldn't we go after them?

Sec: Naw, Gnarff will punish him well enough...

Gnarfflinger drags Hawkeye through men's wear. As Hawkeye goes to his hands and knees, the butcher grabs a belt. 5 lashes later, Hawkeye has scrambled away from the Butcher. They arrive in Footwear. The Butcher tries on a pair of steel toed shoes and starts kicking Hawkeye.

GtB: I'll take them. Just add them to the bill you send Vlad over this one...

Meanwhile in Vlad's office,

VtI: Deduct the price of those shoes from Gnarfflinger's next paycheck...

Gnarfflinger has taken to beating Hawkeye with a hard plastic shoehorn. The two brawl towards the furniture department. The Butcher then places Hawkeye on a glass toped patio table. He climbs a shelf. He leaps off, butr Hawkeye has rolled out of the way! The Butcher goes smashing through the table!

Jess: Cleanup on Aisle 12.

Berta: First Aid, they should be at Aisle 14 by the time you get there...

JP: Nobody home for the Butcher!

Ray: I shudder to think what that sick freak would have done to the lovely Hawkeye...

Hawkeye begins bludgeoning Gnarf with a lawnchair. Hawkeye then whips the Butcher into another shelf causing a pile of office chairs to fall on him.

JP: Not even the Butcher could survive that...

Jess: They said that about Jason in every Friday the 13th movie, and like Freddy in Every Nightmare on Elm Street movie...

Ray: And Gnarfflinger is scarier than any of them...

Berta: And He's getting up...

Gnarffligner gets to his feet while Hawkeye turns around. The Butcher launched a boxed Chair into the face of Hawkeye. Meanwhile a couple associates hace arrived, each with a copy of "Frying pans and Other Things that Hurt when You Get Hit with Them: The Gnarffligner the Butcher Story" DVD They ask the Butcher for a autograph, which hs signs with his own blood!

GtB: You, get me a Frying pan. You get me some thumb tacks. It's time to go for broke...

Associates: Yes Sir!

As the depart, the Gnarf starts working the knee of Hawkeye with a couple knee breakers, a figure four leg lock and a spinning toe hold. Hawkeye kicks the Butcher off, but the Butcher is back hammering him to the floo before Hawkeye can regain his feet.

The First associate returns with the thumb tacks. He is ordered to spread them over a kitchen table.

GtB: You got Barbed wire?

Associate: They won't let us near it.

GtB: Cheer up, they don't let me play with barbed wire either...

The other returns with the Frying pan. Gnarfflingerplaces Hawkeye on the table over the Tacks, climbs the shelving and delivers an arabian skull crusher with the frying pan, through the table...

JP: Oh my God! Hawkeye is broken in half!

Jess: And I was just about ready to buy that table...

Ray: Hawkeye, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Berta: Is he always like this?

JP: The Butcher is always willing to destroy himself to hurt his opponent...

Berta: I meant Ray...

Ed has made his way from Electronics and promptly fires the two associates. They respond with a 3-D onto some stray Thumb tacks...

Gnarfflinger is rolling inn pain, Hawkeye seems to be out cold and bleeding all over...

OOC: Thanks to Sun Tzu for some tactical advice (Divide and Conquer). I need any edge I can get...

TBC: Anyone...

[Alex Stall]

Gnarflinger lays on his back near Hawkeye, both of them breathing heavily from the beating they have been giving each other as Security unlocks Alex and he makes his way to furniture. Alex smiles on the way, seeing the door to the back and a Fire Extinguisher near it. Alex grabs the fire extinguisher and walks to Automotive and receives a small can of gasoline. Gnarflinger goes to get up but is hit in the head with the fire extinguisher and laid out almost unconscious. Hawkeye stands up and Alex hands him the gas can and pulls out his lighter and the men smile at each other. Gnarflinger begins to rouse as Hawkeye dumps the gasoline all over his back and legs.

JP: Oh My God, Their gonna set him on fire!

Berta: About damn time someone used a move like this.....

Alex flicks open his zippo, and just before he can strike the flint, Gnarf jumps up and wildly spears Alex. Hawkeye quickly dropkicks Gnarf off of Alex, whose lighter is lost under a riser and Hawkeye helps Alex up and they both look to each other and grab Gnarf and drag him to the customer service desk, surprising every one but Berta, who looks thrilled to see the action up close. Alex and Hawk slam Gnarf's head into the counter and leave him lay as Alex walks back to returns and finds an almost brand new bicycle with a bad chain and wheels it out. Gnarf quickly low blows Hawkeye and quickly dropkicks the bike into Alex's shins as he gains his second wind and looks absolutely sadistic. An elderly man walks up to the counter with a cane that Gnarf quickly snatches from him and the man sits down and looks shocked as Gnarf uses his cane to start beating the hell out of Alex and Hawkeye.

Berta: Wow, its amazing that Gnarf can get a hold of Alex and Hawkeye like that, he's a one man tag team!

Jessica: Too bad Justin pussed out of the match, Gnarf is having to fight on a whole new level!

Gnarf finally breaks the cane over Alex's bad leg, causing Alex to scream in pain. Gnarf then takes the broken cane, now having a sharp point and jabs it at Hawkeye's stomach, who moves out of the way and sweeps Gnarf to the ground. Alex slowly stands and him and Hawkeye nod to each other and Hawkeye picks Gnarf up and whips him at Alex who lands a beautiful Butterfly Kick. Gnarf hits the ground just in time for Hawkeye to jump and push off of the Customer Service counter and land a moonsault. Hawkeye gets up and stomps on Gnarf keeping him down long enough for Alex to get into position to launch himself off of the counter landing a 630 Senton Splash. Alex rolls up and quickly falls to one knee from the exertion as Hawkeye rests for a second leaving Gnarflinger completely brutalized on the floor.

Ray: Thats why Alex and Hawkeye are pound for pound the best cruiserweights alive today!

Jessica: I never noticed how cute Alex was, I sure wouldn't mind seeing a few more moves like that this close.

JP: I have no clue if that was a sexual reference or not, either way I may have to replace Ray with you two...

Alex motions to Hawk and they pick up Gnarf and drag him bodily to the back of the store and Alex kicks the doors to the back room open. Alex and Hawkeye pull Gnarflinger through the hall in the back past the bins and overstock area and to the unloading dock. Alex kicks Gnarf in the side and throws him into one of the Loading Bay doors and Hawkeye looks around for some new way to punish the poor Butcher. Alex and Hawkeye begin scouting the back as they let Gnarf lay and bleed in front of the Loading Bay door. Hawkeye finds an overstock on T.Vs and marks in his head where they are as Alex finds the Claims Cage, where all the claims are filed and stored. Gnarflinger quickly gets up and looks and finds a Loading Cart and a series of ladders ranging from 7' to 18' and selects a good 12' ladder and waits. Hawkeye rounds the corner just in time to have a loading cart slammed into his legs and Alex comes around after Gnarf, now holding the padlock and chain from the Claims Cage and gets hit in the head with the ladder. Alex crumbles to the floor as Gnarf begins sieging Hawkeye with the ladder, slamming it into his stomach.

Berta: Gnarflinger just isn't going to stop raining hell upon the two Cruiserweights!

Jessica: I wish he'd stop hitting Alex near the face, I was hoping to go to dinner with him after he kills Human Wreckingball at Total Carnage!

JP: [color=green-You two actually watch the show?[/color]

Both Girls: Duh!!!

Gnarf lifts the ladder above his head and slams it down onto Hawkeye and turns to Alex. He lifts up the Canadian and drags him over to the manual conveyor and slams his head into the wheels and notices a skid full of light bulbs at the end of the conveyor. He picks Alex up and slams him onto the conveyor and pushes him down the conveyor, slowly picking up to a run. He lets go of Alex who is yelling in pain and throwing punches in Gnarf's direction trying to stop the pain building in his now tore apart back. Gnarf watches Alex fly off of the conveyor but doesn't get the satisfaction of watching him land through the light bulbs because of Hawkeye throwing an overstock Baseball at his head and drilling him in the jaw. Hawkeye smiles broadly as Gnarf shakes off the pain and Alex lays in a mess of shattered glass. Hawkeye runs up and launches off of the conveyor and hits Gnarf with a spinning Hurricanrana, launching him into a skid full of egg cartons.

JP: Those were good eggs and light bulbs... this is going to cost this store a lot of money!

Berta: It's ok, its on Vlad's tab, apparently this match has enough people watching it that it should still put money into his pocket, god you guys have some killer ratings!

Jessica: Well since BGW went out of business, GHW has no competition for ratings, and plus the fact that people realize that GHW is so much more entertaining!

Alex slowly stands up, cuts all over his exposed flesh from the light bulbs busting under his weight and his back torn up pretty badly from the conveyor. Hawkeye walks over to see if he's ok and catches an egg in the side of the head as Gnarf sits there holding another, covered in egg himself. Gnarf launches the egg and Alex ducks, the egg now hitting Ed who falls over and cusses. Alex runs at Gnarf and hits a Shining Wizard as Hawkeye cleans off all the egg remains on his face. Alex then picks Gnarf up and goes to whip him into the Bailer(Compacts cardboard) but gets reversed and slams into the large piece of metal and falls to his knees, his back being what slammed into the bailer. Hawkeye goes to launch off of a stack of skids and land a cross body but is reversed when Gnarf catches him and body slams him. Gnarf stands up and breathes heavily, showing he is clearly pissed off by how the match has turned out recently.

Ray: Gnarflinger looks amazingly sexy when he's mad and covered in egg!

Jessica: Thats disgusting, now Alex looks sexy when he's sweating and performing as well as he has been.

Ray, Berta, Jessica: *All giddy* I know!


Gnarflinger walks over and picks Alex up off of his knees and slams the Canadian's head into the Bailer before turning him around and dropping back, catapulting him into Hawkeye who was trying to stand up. Gnarflinger then walks over and picks up a broom from next to the Loading Bay door and begins to wreak hell on Hawk and Alex with it. Gnarf finally grows bored of the broom and snaps it over Alex's bad leg, causing the man to cry out in pain again. Gnarf picks them both up and walks them over to the overstock T.Vs and kicks Hawkeye, knocking him to the floor and throws Alex into a skid of 32" Sanyo t.vs, knocking them over and clearly busting them all with the force. Gnarf then perks up when he sees a 72" Hitachi T.V marked "Display" and smiles sadistically. Gnarf picks up Hawkeye and punches him straight in the jaw and then walks him over to the T.V. Hawkeye tries to fight back but is silenced with a few more punches. Finally Gnarflinger realizes what he wants to do. He punches Hawkeye again and pushes him into a sitting position in front of the screen of the T.V, preparing to dropkick his head into it. Alex recovers and hurries over, running up Gnarf's back and pushing off his shoulder into a tight back flip and slamming his feet into Gnarf's shoulders with a devastating dropkick as Hawk moves out of the way. Gnarf acts quickly and rolls over the T.V and rolls when he lands and lays there breathing heavily as Hawkeye and Alex lay on the ground as well, trying to catch some momentum.

Jessica: Wow, great save by Alex, not only is he in great shape and a great performer, but after tagging up with Hawk, he seems to have his back better than even Rurouni!

JP: Wow, great call, Alex and Hawk make a perfect team, I think I know why they tricked everyone with that feud...

Ray, Berta, Jessica: It doesn't matter what you had for dinner!

JP: So they would become completely in tune with each other's style and moves, to know exactly what the other is going to do and be able to read each other perfectly. They are the perfect epitome of a tag team.

Alex is the first to stand, slowly followed by Gnarf and Hawkeye. Gnarflinger quickly launches himself over the T.V and spears Alex, who seems the one with the least balance. Alex hits the ground as Gnarf rolls up and grabs a 13" T.V in the box and throws it at Hawkeye, who ducks only to catch a Shining Wizard and crumbles to the ground as Gnarf falls to one knee, feeling the effects of the handicapped match catch up with him. Alex gets up and picks Gnarf up, whipping him to the door to the sales floor and picks Hawkeye up and makes sure he is ok. The two men walk out to the sales floor only to have Alex catch a dropkick by Gnarf into Hawkeye, making both men fall over. Gnarf then walks off and disappears around a corner to hatch a new plan of action as Alex and Hawkeye struggle to get up.

JP: Looks like Gnarf is getting smart in making Alex and Hawkeye look for him!

Jessica: If only he was smart enough to choose a trustworthy tag team partner....

Berta: Leave Justin alone, something big must be troubling him....

Ray: Who cares, how much longer can this match go? these three sexy men are going to kill each other!!!!

((OOC: First post in GHW history to break 10,000 characters of In Character content, OH YEAH!))

TBCB: Gnarflinger Or Hawkeye

[Hayabusa]

(ooc:hahahahahaha too funny, not sure if that is a record I would want =D)

[gnarfflinger]

Gnarfflinger runs through housewares, grabbing another frying pan, and runs for the changing rooms. he drops the Frying pan just outside a change room stall while finding another place to hide.

JP: The Butcher has something nefarious in mind for his opponents...

Ray: And he's getting a much needed breather.

Alex and Hawkeye soon find their way to the chane room area.

Hawkeye: You think he'd be smarter than that...

Alex: I'll stand back. He could be up to something.

Hawkeye opens the door expecting to find Gnarfflinger the Butcher, but instead finds a rather attractive woman changing her pants. She screams, grabs teh Frying pan and starts assaulting Hawkeye with it calling him a f***ing pervert. At this time, her boyfriend, a muscular tattoed man about 6'7" arrives. Security also arrives, sees the struggle, and moves to apprehend Hawkeye.

JP: The Butcher has been masterful in his tactics of dividing the opponents, and if Hawkeye is arrested, then Gnarf has a one on one with Alex Stall to finish this fight!.

Ray: So how much to I have to try to steal to get in the same jail cell as Hawkeye?

Jess: It may not work, they may not want to touch that purple suit that you are wearing...

Berta: I know, and whoever told you that look works was either high or hated your guts...

While Security is converging on Hawkeye and preventing the boyfriend from killing him, Gnarfflinger the Butcher makes is presence known--with a bionic elbow from the top of the change stall! The Butcher then drags Alex Stall away from the melee and into some more open space. Alex flies into a rack of ladies undergarments and surfaces with a bra on his chest and some granny panties on his head. Gnarf pauses to laugh at Alex Stall...

Alex: What's so funny...

GtB: You'll see it on the replay. Hell, this one's going on the next DVD--Stalled Greatness...

Alex kicks the Butcher in the nuts and suplexes him onto a table of ladies track pants. He then begins to choke him with a pair of pants.

Jess: And for those of you watching at home, our cleaning products department has a special on this week featuring Smart Choice Laundry detergent, which should take those blood stains out of your clothes no problem...

Berta: And our Pharmacy department has a special on Smart Choice Bandages for all your cuts. It looks like these two will need a lot of them.

JP and Ray look at the girls for a moment then give Ed a dirty look.

Ed: What?

Then the two associates fired earlier grab Ed again and deliver a snap shot to the tile floor. The first one sets Ed across his knee, while the other drops an elbow across Ed's collar bone...

Meanwhile, Gnarffligner and Alex have gotten to their feet and are trading punches. The Butcher ducks a right hand from Alex and after a shot to the bread basket Irish whips alex back towards the back room. The two return to the back room, where the 72 inch TV is still there and undamaged. After spear into the frame fo the TV, the Butcher pulls Alex out in front of the screen. The Butcher finds a steel chair, tosses it at Alex, who catches it, but Gnarf drop kicks the chair into the face of Alex stall, who goes through the screen of the TV...

JP: This is expensive!

Ray: I wonder if the Butcher is still sore that Vlad spoiled his SNR debut match?

Ed: And all next week we're having a Special GHW Scratch and Dent sale. All items used in this match are marked down, so if you don't like paying high prices and don't mind the blood, come on in and save!

FA #1: Dude, you could make more than that on E-bay...

FA #2: Yeah, and if you're in the right place at the right time, maybe you can get an audition for GHW...

With that, they deliver a double german suplex to Ed and drag him through the store...

Gnarfflinger then gets to his feet, picks out a 32 inch TV and smashes it over Alex Stall's head. He then drags Alex through the back room, lays him out on the floor, pulls a pallet on top of him. He then loads the pallet with Televisions. Gnarff puts his foot on the chest of Alex Stall and awaits the count...

TBC: Anyone if there's time...