Post by Vladimir T. Strife on Jan 19, 2007 3:26:39 GMT -5
'All Hail The New Flesh' begins to blare as the audience boos and yells.
Vladimir walks out on stage in his typical attire, grinning and holding the waver in his hand. He walks down and climbs into the ring, the announcer handing him the microphone and getting out away from him.
"Ladies and Gentlemen... F*ck You!"
Vladimir pauses for a second to take in the boos.
"I can see my reputation preceeds me as well as I can see the bottom of the gene pool here."
More boos from the audience arise.
"It's time for another Strife Showdown! Where another lucky audience member gets to step into the ring with the LEGENDARY... Vladimir Strife. And as for an update about last time... I hear gramps is doing quite fine. There was the memory loss thing... but let's be honest, that is probably Alzheimer's."
Vlad pauses and listens to them as they begin to chant "P*ssy! P*ssy!" and looks as though he is getting steamed.
"You retards wouldn't even know what one of those was if it wasn't for Hustler and Playboy, so shut your traps! Now, raise some hands, let me know who's @ss I'm kicking tonight!"
A flurry of hands shoot up and Vladimir looks over the audience before pointing out to a person near the front, a young lady about 20 years old. The staff help her over the barrier and she looks fired up as the audience cheers her on.
Vladimir gets an extra microphone and hands it to her as she gets in the ring.
JR: She's just a kid! And a girl! How low is this guy!
"Let's talk a moment, what's your name, kid?"
"Amy."
Vladimir turns to the audience.
"This is embarassing... I really should have picked a better opponent..."
King: What? Is he having a change of heart?
JR: He'd have to have a damned heart in the first place for that King!
"In my defence... I thought it was a guy! I mean..."
Vlad turns back to Amy.
"Look at you... Rhino has bigger tits than you!"
The girl starts getting pissed as does part of the audience, some laughing at the joke anyhow though.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... That wasn't right. Rhino has some pretty big tits. You guys feel lucky you've never been in the back with him. He likes to walk around in a miniskirt and a tube top... it looks like a can of biscuits popped open!"
More of the audience begin to laugh.
"ANYHOW! Are you from around here... Amy?"
"Born and raised, proudly!"
The audience cheers and she waves at them smiling.
"That explains the smell then... I think someone has been rinsing in the ocean, if you catch my drift..."
The audience boos again.
"I surely caught hers! I'm not saying you smell that way because of fish honey... don't worry. No, I was thinking the fish smell that way because of you."
Amy becomes really pissed off and takes a step forward.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa, doggie! You better wait until I let you sign this waiver or I'll sue your @ss for every penny you are worth! Legally... that is. Not the $2.50 you charge a pop! What makes you think you can beat me!?"
"I don't think I can... I KNOW I CAN!"
Vladimir rubs his mouth a second and looks away. After a few seconds, he turns back around.
"Well... Amy... Sorry, but I'd have to say I think you're lying through your tooth! Let's find out though!"
Vladimir tosses the waiver to her.
"Just sign on the dotted line. Nothing like driving, so you should be able to do this."
Amy signs and tosses the waiver aside, lifting the microphone back up, pissed off.
"You know, ever since I was a little gir-" Vladimir smacks her hard across the face and she falls down.
"Nobody wants to hear your V*gina monologues! I'm sure they'd love to hear a little joke though.. I happen to have 2."
As Amy is getting up, Vladimir kicks her in the side, dropping her back down.
"The first joke: Women's rights!"
The audience boos loudly at the joke.
"Fine... My second joke. What do you do to a dish washer that won't work?"
Vladimir grabs Amy by the hair and motions for the bell to start. It rings and he finishes the joke.
"YOU BEAT HER!" Vladimir yells angrily and then punches Amy in the face, dropping her down to the mat again.
Vladimir tosses the microphone to the mat and then lifts her back up to her feet, then kicks her in the stomach and hooks her arms.
JR: This is horrible! Leave her alone! That arrogant son of a b*tch!
King: I've had enough of this, I'm going to show this guy a lesson!
A thud is heard as King takes his headset off and drops it on the table.
Vladimir lifts the woman up and spins her, setting her back onto his shoulder. He turns around with her to show her off and sees King coming into the ring.
Vladimir drops the woman, who falls feetfirst and crumbles to the mat weakly, trying to crawl away.
Jerry Lawler swings a punch and Vladimir ducks and goes under it, coming up behind Lawler back to back. He grabs onto Lawler's head and drops with a SinnerPlex. Lawler's bottom hits the mat as the back of his head and neck slam on Vladimir's shoulder, whiplashing forward and Lawler laying dazed on the mat, barely conscious and not knowing where he is.
Vladimir gets up and grabs the woman as she's crawling away. He picks her up and hooks the arms again, then lifts her up and flips her onto his shoulder. Vladimir holds her and looks at King furiously, then lifts her up and crashes down to the mat with her, slamming her neck, head, and shoulders onto the mat with the Skesis Driver. The weight of her body comes down on her neck and then rolls over her head.
Vladimir rolls the woman over and scoops the leg for the 1-2-3.
He gets back up and the referee reluctantly raises his hand.
The audience loudly chants "P*SSY!" again and begin to throw drinks and debris at him. Vladimir flips them off and picks up the microphone to talk but can't be heard over their chants. After a bit of trying, Vladimir throws the microphone down and gives them an 'Up yours' before heading off to the back, stopping at the top of the ramp to hold his title high. He then kisses his hand and smacks his rear, telling them to kiss his @ss, before heading to the back.
END OF THREAD
((Comments welcome if you please))
Vladimir walks out on stage in his typical attire, grinning and holding the waver in his hand. He walks down and climbs into the ring, the announcer handing him the microphone and getting out away from him.
"Ladies and Gentlemen... F*ck You!"
Vladimir pauses for a second to take in the boos.
"I can see my reputation preceeds me as well as I can see the bottom of the gene pool here."
More boos from the audience arise.
"It's time for another Strife Showdown! Where another lucky audience member gets to step into the ring with the LEGENDARY... Vladimir Strife. And as for an update about last time... I hear gramps is doing quite fine. There was the memory loss thing... but let's be honest, that is probably Alzheimer's."
Vlad pauses and listens to them as they begin to chant "P*ssy! P*ssy!" and looks as though he is getting steamed.
"You retards wouldn't even know what one of those was if it wasn't for Hustler and Playboy, so shut your traps! Now, raise some hands, let me know who's @ss I'm kicking tonight!"
A flurry of hands shoot up and Vladimir looks over the audience before pointing out to a person near the front, a young lady about 20 years old. The staff help her over the barrier and she looks fired up as the audience cheers her on.
Vladimir gets an extra microphone and hands it to her as she gets in the ring.
JR: She's just a kid! And a girl! How low is this guy!
"Let's talk a moment, what's your name, kid?"
"Amy."
Vladimir turns to the audience.
"This is embarassing... I really should have picked a better opponent..."
King: What? Is he having a change of heart?
JR: He'd have to have a damned heart in the first place for that King!
"In my defence... I thought it was a guy! I mean..."
Vlad turns back to Amy.
"Look at you... Rhino has bigger tits than you!"
The girl starts getting pissed as does part of the audience, some laughing at the joke anyhow though.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... That wasn't right. Rhino has some pretty big tits. You guys feel lucky you've never been in the back with him. He likes to walk around in a miniskirt and a tube top... it looks like a can of biscuits popped open!"
More of the audience begin to laugh.
"ANYHOW! Are you from around here... Amy?"
"Born and raised, proudly!"
The audience cheers and she waves at them smiling.
"That explains the smell then... I think someone has been rinsing in the ocean, if you catch my drift..."
The audience boos again.
"I surely caught hers! I'm not saying you smell that way because of fish honey... don't worry. No, I was thinking the fish smell that way because of you."
Amy becomes really pissed off and takes a step forward.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa, doggie! You better wait until I let you sign this waiver or I'll sue your @ss for every penny you are worth! Legally... that is. Not the $2.50 you charge a pop! What makes you think you can beat me!?"
"I don't think I can... I KNOW I CAN!"
Vladimir rubs his mouth a second and looks away. After a few seconds, he turns back around.
"Well... Amy... Sorry, but I'd have to say I think you're lying through your tooth! Let's find out though!"
Vladimir tosses the waiver to her.
"Just sign on the dotted line. Nothing like driving, so you should be able to do this."
Amy signs and tosses the waiver aside, lifting the microphone back up, pissed off.
"You know, ever since I was a little gir-" Vladimir smacks her hard across the face and she falls down.
"Nobody wants to hear your V*gina monologues! I'm sure they'd love to hear a little joke though.. I happen to have 2."
As Amy is getting up, Vladimir kicks her in the side, dropping her back down.
"The first joke: Women's rights!"
The audience boos loudly at the joke.
"Fine... My second joke. What do you do to a dish washer that won't work?"
Vladimir grabs Amy by the hair and motions for the bell to start. It rings and he finishes the joke.
"YOU BEAT HER!" Vladimir yells angrily and then punches Amy in the face, dropping her down to the mat again.
Vladimir tosses the microphone to the mat and then lifts her back up to her feet, then kicks her in the stomach and hooks her arms.
JR: This is horrible! Leave her alone! That arrogant son of a b*tch!
King: I've had enough of this, I'm going to show this guy a lesson!
A thud is heard as King takes his headset off and drops it on the table.
Vladimir lifts the woman up and spins her, setting her back onto his shoulder. He turns around with her to show her off and sees King coming into the ring.
Vladimir drops the woman, who falls feetfirst and crumbles to the mat weakly, trying to crawl away.
Jerry Lawler swings a punch and Vladimir ducks and goes under it, coming up behind Lawler back to back. He grabs onto Lawler's head and drops with a SinnerPlex. Lawler's bottom hits the mat as the back of his head and neck slam on Vladimir's shoulder, whiplashing forward and Lawler laying dazed on the mat, barely conscious and not knowing where he is.
Vladimir gets up and grabs the woman as she's crawling away. He picks her up and hooks the arms again, then lifts her up and flips her onto his shoulder. Vladimir holds her and looks at King furiously, then lifts her up and crashes down to the mat with her, slamming her neck, head, and shoulders onto the mat with the Skesis Driver. The weight of her body comes down on her neck and then rolls over her head.
Vladimir rolls the woman over and scoops the leg for the 1-2-3.
He gets back up and the referee reluctantly raises his hand.
The audience loudly chants "P*SSY!" again and begin to throw drinks and debris at him. Vladimir flips them off and picks up the microphone to talk but can't be heard over their chants. After a bit of trying, Vladimir throws the microphone down and gives them an 'Up yours' before heading off to the back, stopping at the top of the ramp to hold his title high. He then kisses his hand and smacks his rear, telling them to kiss his @ss, before heading to the back.
END OF THREAD
((Comments welcome if you please))
